When Prey Becomes Hunter
by JustAFantasyGirl
Summary: "What more can you possibly take from me?" "You'd be amazed at what you have to lose." - President Snows promise to Johanna Mason, one he kept. The story of the ones she once loved, and how the Capitol took them from her.
1. Chapter 1

When Prey Becomes Hunter

**Hey guys so I just recently finished reading The Hunger Games and fell completly in love with Johanna, she's just such an awesome character. So it got me thinking what made her one of the most surprisingly viscious victors from the outlying districts? So I then decided to have a go at writing the story of Johanna Mason. Hope you enjoy it and please feel free to review, any help is greatly appreciated! :)**

Chapter One

The small girl let out a groan as the sunlight danced past the curtains and into her still half asleep eyes. She rolled over to face away from the window, knowing that there was no point in trying to go back to sleep, not with it being Reaping day and all. She hadn't slept well anyway, no one ever did on their first reaping. She shut her eyes tighter, pushing away the thought that her name would now join the hundreds of others in the lottery bowl on stage; that there was now the chance that the name of the "lucky lady" chosen to represent District 7 in the Hunger Games could be Johanna Mason.

She lay there for a while, looking around her room. It wasn't as large as some of the others she'd seen but then again her family did have one of the smallest lodges in the district. She'd managed to decorate it slightly, the wood was easy enough to paint with one wall covered with flower patterns she'd seen in the forest, ivy she thought the plant was called. The few clothes she had lay across the floor, she never really had the energy to tidy up after a day in the forest. The forest was a strange place, the parts closest to the town were clearly set up by man, with all the trees in rows and columns perfect distances apart. However as you went deeper the forest had grown of it's own accord, free of the Capitols wishes. Here the flowers that covered the floor were part of nature, not the Peacekeepers tight control. It was nicer there, it was a place to breathe and feel free and out of reach of the Capitols reins.

Eventually, coming to the conclusion that sleep was not going to return this morning, she dragged herself out of bed. She dragged her thin blanket along with her, knowing that the kitchen would be colder with the lack of body heat and that her father wouldn't be up yet. To anyone else the cold floor may be irritating, or enough of an excuse to crawl back into bed and wait for the sun to be fully up, but she had grown used to it now. She was surprised to find the kitchen warm and then noticed the fire had already lit.

"Hey sweetie, how you feeling?" her father sat at the table, he never usually woke up this early, and if he did he was in the forest working.

"I'm alright, a bit sleepy though," she lied, there was no point in upsetting him today. Not when the odds were definitly in her favour.

"You know you're an awful liar?" he said in his usual light hearted tone although it was a little heavier than it would have been any other day. He knew her better than anyone else, but even then it wasn't difficult to tell when she was lying. She had eyes that were bright blue like her mothers were, that had so much depth that you could hide anything in them but emotions always came to the surface.

"I know," she replied, trying to hold back the tears she could feel coming. She could sense the tears forming in her eyes, not just because her vision was going fuzzy but because she was so scared of the image of her name being the one that came out of the lottery that she simply couldn't hold her emotions in.

"Hey, hey, hey, sweetie don't cry," he muttered soothingly as he left the table to go and hug her. For a while they stayed like that, his strong lumberers arms wrapped around her as she began sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. He stroked her hair reassuringly, knowing there was a chance, small though it may be, that it was the last time he would be able to do this. "Shhhhh, it's going to be fine, you're names only just gone in, there's no chance it'll come out. Plus there are plenty of other kids who's name is in there over 40 times, yours is only one, one slip of paper in that whole big bowl of names," there was part of her that knew he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her but she let him hold her still, his strength reassuring her.

He held her until her breathing returned to a normal steady pace and then he knelt infront of her, so that their eyes were level, and let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Sweetie I promise, there is no way your name is coming out of that bowl, it is literally a one in a million shot. Plus no one wants to get on your dad's bad side now do they," he winked at her and she smiled a little. They were all they had left in the world. After Johannas mother had died giving birth to her, her father had promised to protect her against anything; how he was going to protect her from the games though he had no idea. "Now give me your best Mason face," he smiled at her attempt at a scary face, she was too tiny to be threatening, just scaping past 4 foot 5 inches at 12 and a half she was almost half a foot shorter than most of the girls in her class. "Now lets go get you dressed."

The process was a fairly straight forward one, simply bathing and dressing in the smartest clothes her father could afford but her hair was proving to be a problem to the pair of them. Usually Johanna would just put it up any old way, but her father insisted this simply wouldn't do. So they spent the next hour with him attempting things far too complex for his blistered hands and putting more knots in her hair than she previously thought possible. Eventually, after spending a fair amount of time removing the knots from her hair they settled on tying it up with a navy blue ribbon that was once her mothers.

"What was she like?" Johanna asked as her father finished his attempt at a bow.

"By she I assume you mean your mother. She was, perfect. She had long blonde hair, you know, the kind you usually only see in district one. Eyes the colour of the sky on a bright spring afternoon, yours are the same shade, same depth that hers were, which is why i can tell when you're lying to me, because I knew her well enough to work it out and you react exactly the same way she did, with just a tiny twitch in your right eye. She cared about people, the Reapings broke her heart, and she would only watch the games when it was completely necessary. She once saw the bloodbath and she cried for the rest of the Games. She swore she'd never have children, she'd never raise someone just to either turn them into a killer or to have them die for the Capitols entertainment. Of course, everything changed when we some how ended up with you. When she found out she was pregnant she was distraught at first but then she realized there was a bit of her and a bit of me all mixed together inside of her, and no matter what happened, she would always love whoever that was because coming from someone as sensitive and caring as her and someone as brave and noble as me could never just be a cold blooded murderer like the victors and that we could keep you safe, some how," his voice trailed off at the end, wondering if some how his wife had found a way to keep their unborn child completely safe from the Capitol and had died before being able to share it with him. No, if she had known she would have said, even under the risk of the peacekeepers hearing she wouldn't have kept such a thing from her sister, who had 4 children of her own, who were all also up for Reaping this year. This was the worst part of Reapings, even if your own child was spared you felt guilty for being thankful that someone elses child was getting sent to the slaughter. But what choice did he have, he had no one else and if Johanna was taken from him then, he didn't even want to think about what he would do.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Standing in the square brought an unfamiliar feeling of fear over Johanna. For as long as she could remember she had been on the other side of the line, watching the unfortunate pieces of meat rather than being one of them. Being surrounded by girls the same age as her at the very front of the square and seeing how many others there was around her should have reassured her, there was no way that out of everyone here her name would be the one leaving that bowl. Her name would stay in there quite happily until she was 19 and then she would be free, would be able to dance and sing and not care for a while what happened because she would never in a million years have to enter that arena. Well, that's what she repeated to herself over and over again anyway.

The square had always been an almost haunted place in Johannas mind. The old wooden buildings were beginning to rot, some of them already having fallen down due to lack of care. Ivy had begun creeping up the side of some buildings, becoming uncontrollable in places as it reached up the sides of buildings, almost like it was trying to escape from the horror of the Capitols rein. And the only time she ever really ventured here was for the Reapings, meaning the faces of people here were as haunted as the buildings. The pale faces of scared children, the teary eyes of worried mothers and fathers, the black rings around the sleepless eyes of almost everyone here hardly gave the cheeriest impression of the District. The only building that stood tall amongst the destruction was the Justice Building, made of concrete rather than wood. The strength of the building almost seemed to represent the strength of the Capitol itself; where you are weak we are strong. They simply couldn't miss at opportunity to make us feel weak.

"Welcome everyone to the Reapings for the 65th annual Hunger Games," the irritatingly chirpy voice from the Capitol representative boomed throughout the small square. He paused as though expecting some kind of applause as was seen in Districts One and Two at this announcement. He was sorely disappointed if he was, at most all that could be heard was the sobs of some poor mother somewhere who clearly felt the odds were not in favour of her child. Even though Johanna had no idea if everyone in the Capitol was as irritating as the representatives she despised all of them. They were safe, safe by the pure coincidence that they had been born in the right place. How was that any way to decide who lives and who dies, by where you're born. And as for those born in Districts such as 12 they were basically sentenced to death if their names were chosen so that those in the Capitol could mock their "puny attempts" at survival. Well maybe it was better to die in a cowardly way with no blood on your hands than to live a life for the Capitols entertainment with the blood of potentially 23 innocent people on your hands. "Today we will select one lucky young man and woman to have the honour of representing District 7 in the arena." Again with the pause, again he was denied any form of a response. "Anyway before the excitement of selecting the tributes we will watch this film that has been specially put together for you all the way from the Capitol."

As the short film played explaining how the Games were a way of showing how kind and thoughtful the Capitol was the square fell into a deeper sense of concentration. No one in the square was truly paying attention to the film anyway. Above everything else everyone there had already seen the film at least 12 times before hand. But everyone was praying to some form of higher power that someone else's name would be pulled out of that large daunting bowl on stage. It's not that we'd never had a victor from District 7, it was just that the chances of us winning against the well trained killing machines of the stronger Districts were slim to none in most of our cases. Also volunteers were unlikely to make an appearance anytime soon, as the arenas became more and more terrifying and the tributes became more and more vicious. No if you're name came out of that lottery, you were waving goodbye to your life here and welcoming the afterlife with open arms.

"Until a lone victor remains, bringing honour and glory to their District." Clearly the Capitol and the Districts had very different ideas of what honour and glory were.

On stage the man from the Capitol was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief that looked so well decorated that if you sold it you could probably feed a family here for a month. "It's just makes me so patriotic seeing how much we've grown as a country," he said through probably fake tears. After all, the better his performance, the more likely he was to be promoted to a "better" District. "Now for the moment I know you've all been waiting for. Let's select our lucky lady."

Crap. The one word circled in her head with each step that he took towards the bowl, although step was probably too heavy a word, skipping was probably a more accurate description. He placed his hand into the bowl, tormentingly shuffling around with the pieces of paper; each one a death sentence. Just pick one, let me go home and forget this God awful day, the thought entered Johannas head just as he pulled out a single tiny folded piece of paper. It seemed silly how one seemingly insignificant bit of paper could change so many lives. But it could, and that's why they were here, and that's why every year they'd be here, praying for the same things, for the name that was going to be read not to be a family member, a loved one, a friend, even an acquaintance because there is no one in the world you would wish this fate upon.

He took one final step towards the microphone and it wasn't audible but she could sense everyone around her take a tight breath inwards as the envelope slowly opened and the words left his mouth. The words that would ring in Johannas mind for the rest of her life, if that was even to be very long.

"Johanna Mason".

Crap.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Johanna Mason," the man repeated, going on to his tip toes in an attempt to seek out the victim. "Oh come on now sweetie don't be shy," the way he said sweetie wasn't anything like the way her father said it; when her father called her that she felt warm and safe and like everything was just the way it should be, when this man used the word it felt like a thousand daggers digging into her heart.

Johanna turned and began walking towards the stage. "Johanna!" her fathers voice rang out through the silence, cracking it like precious glass.

"Dad!" she yelled running towards the spot in the crowd where his voice came from. Before she could get there though she was grabbed by two peacekeepers and led back towards the stage kicking and screaming. They threw her down, rather ungracefully, into a heap at the bottom of the stairs where she lay for a moment beginning to sob.

"Come on Johanna. You know everyone here would love to have the honor of going in your place," was he really so clueless, she thought to herself. Here she was lying on the ground of the district she would never see again because she was going to die. Why would anyone else want that? Eventually he gave up and walked down the stairs to practically carry her up onto the stage while everyone else looked at the ground or found some where else to place their guilty eyes. Her father was yelling abusively at the nearest peacekeepers but she knew there was nothing he could say that was going to change the situation. She could feel her stomach churning, every part of her already felt like it was dying.

"So Johanna aren't you lucky getting to go all the way to the Capitol?" the Capitol man said in possibly the most patronizing voice Johanna had ever suffered through. Suddenly she realized what was actually happening; her stomach wasn't just churning with fear, it was literally churning and the next moment before she could stop it... "Oh in the name of Snow!" he screamed looking down at his beautiful shoes, which were now covered in some partially digested bread and whatever else had previously been in Johannas stomach. A few sniggers could be heard throughout the audience, well at least she'd be remembered for something.

The man tried his best to regain some form of dignity. "And now for the bo..."

"Wait. I volunteer," for a moment Johanna was sure she was imagining the voice, that is was some form of cruel dream that would soon be shattered and remind her that she was going to die. Again the man tried to look like he knew what was going on.

"Well then don't just stand there in the crowd get up here, darling," he snapped, clearly glad to be rid of the girl who had just ruined what was probably his favorite pair of shoes. "You can go now dear," he muttered to Johanna, not even faking a smile as he shooed her off the stage. She practically ran into her fathers arms, forgetting that the procedure was probably to rejoin the girls her age it didn't matter. She was safe, by some lucky chance she had stared death in the face and had some how managed to escape.

He held her as he had that morning, crying into her hair and holding her so close to him that she wondered if he'd ever let her go again. Not that she'd complain if he didn't, she could quite happily stay there safe in his arms forever, safe.

"Now what's your name?" clearly the Capitol man had regained his ability to act like everything was just fine and dandy.

"Sophia Beech," the girl replied. Peering back onto the stage Johanna could see that she was not only brave like a victor but she had the build of one. She was tall with long brown hair and eyes as dark as the night. She had clearly been working in the forest as her muscles were barely hidden under the fabric of her green dress.

After that Johanna didn't pay attention to the ceremony, didn't look at the male tribute and was barely aware when it ended. "I want to see her," Johanna eventually whispered to her father.

"Johanna sweetie are you sure that's a good idea?" her father muttered back, pulling away from her slightly to look into her eyes. It wasn't the first time she had seen him cry but every time she saw the red puffiness and the shine coating the surface of his eyes she felt a pang of worry.

"I'm sure, I need to say thank you," he looked at his little girl with a pride he'd never felt before. Her eyes deeper than he'd ever seen them before, she was growing up and he had to accept it. He would never come this close to losing her again, he would do everything in his power to make sure of that.

"Alright, I'll walk you round," he replied softly standing up and holding out his hand for her to take, she did. As they walked round people looked sympathetically in their direction, some giggled slightly at the memory of the look in the Capitol representatives face as Johanna had thrown up on his shoes. The ground crunched under her feet and she decided to focus on that rather than the fact she was still fighting back tears with what little of her strength remained.

They stood outside the Justice Building, it loomed over them casting a shadow for as far as they could see. The peacekeepers rushed them inside and into a line outside the room where they were told Sophia was waiting. Johanna felt awkward now, surrounded by this girls family and friends who all probably hated her; knowing that if anything happened to Sophia in the games that it should have been Johanna in her place, and if she didn't come home at all, well then things would be even worse.

She watched as one by one people went in to wish the girl luck. One boy walked past and gave her such a dirty look Johanna wished she could just melt into the wall and disappear, but she knew if she didn't tell Sophia what she needed to now, she may never get the chance again. Finally, with everyone else gone Johanna was allowed to enter the room.

"Do you want me to come with you?" her father asked, concern clear in his voice.

"No, I want to see her alone," Johanna stated bluntly. She turned then and entered the room and heard the click as the door shut behind her, leaving the two of them alone. Sophia sat on a very fancy looking stool, looking calm and collected, the polar opposite to how Johanna looked.

"Hello Johanna," Sophia greeted the small girl in her politest voice, trying to keep the surprise out of her voice. Not that she had any idea how this part of the Games worked, it was one of the few moments that were kept completely private, but she couldn't deny the awe she was in at her presence.

"Thank you," was her only response, she had no idea what else she wanted to say, what else there was to say. She owed this girl her life, probably everything she owned and more and yet she couldn't find the words to explain any of this.

"Don't mention it. Truth is I was planning on volunteering next year anyway but after seeing you throw up on Addies shoes I couldn't watch you go into the arena, you're no where near ready and I am, I've trained I made sure that I was," Sophias eyes never left Johannas.

"You'd risk you're life for me and you don't even know me though, it just feels wrong that I've done nothing for you and you're doing more than almost anyone's ever done for me."

"Johanna, I didn't need to know you. I just had to see you, the way you acted when they called your name, letting you go into that arena when I know I can win it, it just feels like a crime."

"You're going to win though right?"

"Of course, I mean adorable though you are I wouldn't of volunteered in your place unless I was sure I was ready. But I need you to do one thing while I'm gone?"

"Anything."

"Look after my brother, Jason, he's a few years older than you but he's going to be a pain for my parents to deal with on their own. Just be there when he needs you ok? And then we're even," she seemed so confident that she was coming home, no hint of fear or loss in her eyes, Johanna couldn't help but have so much respect for this girl.

"As I said, anything," she replied. "Just make sure to win."

"I will. You don't need to worry about that," Sophia smiled at her and then stood up and took the girl in her arms. "But thank you for coming, it's kind of nice getting to see how much it meant to you. Being honest I wasn't even really thinking of how you'd react to this." They stood there, holding each other, the strong comforting the weak, until the peacekeepers came to take Johanna away.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Johannas bare feet brushed through the leaves and pine needles that were sprinkled delicately on the floor. The forest floor was indented with the path she'd taken a thousand times before. It was the perfect place to think and just run away from things, two things that she desperately needed to do right now. Eventually she reached the tree stump she was looking for.

It had been hollowed out with years of rot so that she could sit in the middle of it and disappear to the rest of the world she was so small. Here she took a few moments to go through the days events; I nearly died seemed to always spring back into her mind. It wasn't that she wanted to think it, it just sort of creeped up on her circling her mind. Suddenly she sat bold upright.

"You really wouldn't of lasted would you?" the voice came from above her, overly cocky. She looked up and into the deep golden eyes of the owner of the voice. He was young, maybe 16 or 17 with blonde hair that seemed like it would tickle his ear lobes. His cheek bones were high and angular giving his face a softer more beautiful appeal. The stubble brought attention to his strong jailing which cancelled it out making him look harsher but still beautiful.

"No," well what was the point in hiding it, she had hardly managed to convince anyone otherwise. She looked back down at the ground, reluctant to look into the face of someone who would of fared a lot better than her this morning. She partially hoped her reluctance to talk would make the boy leave, she just wanted to get lost in her own thoughts for a while and then return home before her father would worry too much about her whereabouts.

"What's up with you anyway? Thought you'd be over the moon with how things turned out," all cockiness gone the boy sounded curious, not like he particularly cared about her answer but just that it would be something interesting.

"I just wanted to think," was the only response she could think of, it was true. She was still in shock that even though there was only one slip of paper with her name on it that that had been the one slip to make an appearance.

"Alright suit yourself then," he said beginning to walk away from the trunk and the girl inside it. She had no idea how lucky she was, no idea how many innocent kids in other districts were wishing someone had volunteered for them and how was she celebrating this chance at life? By sitting in the middle of a forest alone moping and moaning to herself, well fine then showed how much she cared.

"Wait," she mumbled, if the boy hadn't spent years hunting his ears would've missed the faint sound and he would've walked away from the trunk and changed the paths their lives were now destined to take. "I don't like how it felt."

"Well, I doubt it's the greatest feeling in the world getting reaped but you could be a little grateful that someon stepped up for you," he remarked snidely.

"Not that, I didn't like feeling so, well, weak. I've never felt like I couldn't do something before and standing there knowing that not being able to kill meant I would be killed. I always thought that it'd never happen to me you know, I just felt so detached from the whole thing forgetting that it does happen to someone every year and that there's every chance that it could be me, no matter how much the odds are in my favour," she stopped there realizing she was rambling and that this stranger probably didn't want to hear the problems of a 12 year old who couldn't even walk onto a stage without breaking down infront of the entire nation. "Sorry," she mumbled remembering he hadn't come out here to see her.

"To be honest it's better you learned now rather than when you're 18 and haven't ever trained for it," was his only reply. She couldn't hide her disappointment with the answer. She was hoping for some form of comfort, a reassuring pat on the back or something at least, not actual advice, she wasn't ready for that yet; to be told she'd made a lucky escape, potentially costing some noble brave girl her life.

"Yeah I guess," she muttered, wanting for the boy to go away again, not really sure why she had asked him to stop and come to talk to her again.

"Hey just think, you're safe everyone's name only ever comes out of that bowl once. Usually it ends a lot worse than this. You can focus on other things now like school and getting the best marks in your class so that you can work in the paper mill or something like that," he squatted down so that he was level with her and could look into her eyes properly. They were a strange shade of blue, the kind you usually only saw during the games from other districts. They were a deep blue around the outside and faded into a softer blue that reminded him almost of an ocean he'd seen in the games one year. He cocked his head slightly to get a better look at them but no matter what angle he looked at them, they were definitely blue, wasn't just the light.

"I know but I just feel like, I should've been prepared. I shouldn't of taken things for granted, I dunno how to explain it really but I just know I should've seen it coming"

"Well then let's get you prepared," he stretched out his hand for her and stood up, it was only then she realized how tall he was, at least 6 foot if he could block out the sunlight. She took it uncertainly, not sure what was going to happen next. He raised his palm to her and indicated at it with his head "Hit me."

"What?" she replied, her legs a little stiff, she must've been here for hours already.

"You said you wanted to feel prepared so come on kid on I'm some mean Career and I'm going to kill you," he replied, hand still raised. She punched at it, pathetically even for her standards. "Come on, if someone's trying to kill you that's what you've got to defend yourself?"

"I'm only twelve," she stated putting her hands on her hips.

"And you think a Career would see that as a reason to spare you? Or do you think they'd see you as an easy victim because of that?" he knew his words were harsh but he'd seen her break down that morning, as had all of Panem, and if there was some way he could've volunteered for her he would've. "Come on just channel all the fear or the anger or anything you've got and make me back off." And suddenly she found herself actually trying she threw one punch at his hand, and another and another until she was doing it without even thinking about it using it to release her frustration that everyone in the nation thought she was weak, her fear that everything she had worked hard for could be snatched away by the cruel control of the Capitol, the sorrow she felt at almost being lost to her father forever, leaving him with nothing to prove for his presence on this Earth.

"Alright, I think that's enough for today then," he lowered his hand but not before she'd begun throwing the last punch. He grabbed her hand quickly, his reflexes had clearly been developed over many years.

"How did you..."

"Let's just say I worried about the same thing. But I make sure that if my name ever comes out of that bowl then they're going to get the next victor from District Seven," he smiled a little at the last part, it was a friendly enough smile although it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I think I should go, my dad will be getting worried," I explained to him, aware now that it was growing darker as the sun was almost hidden behind the trees.

"Yeah I was just thinking the same thing. Come on, I'll walk you home," and that he did, he took the same path she usually did through the forest back to her lodge just at the edge of the forest. She wondered if it was just coincidence that they walked the same way, or if he had noticed the worn down path and had taken that way because he knew it was the way she went.

"This is my lodge here," she said beginning to head up the pebbled path to her home when she stopped and turned around realizing she had forgotten one very important question. "What's you're name?"

He turned and suddenly it seemed like no coincidence he had been in the woods with her today. He smiled slightly and the words "Jason. Jason Beech," left his mouth before he turned and began walking into the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The pair of them sat at the table that night, both feeling too emotionally drained to make any decent conversation. Johanna swirled the soup around in the bowl not making any attempt to eat it, instead busing her mind with the pretty spiral pattern it made.

"Johanna please eat something dear, you must be hungry it's been a long day," her father pleaded, stopping halfway through his own bowl to point this out. He didn't know what to say to reassure her that he'd never let anything happen to her again.

"I think I'm still running on fear," she said looking up from her bowl for the first time since sitting down. She couldn't bring herself to eat because she was worried it would make a quick reappearance.

"Johanna, you know I'm not very good at these things, but I'm here and no one can take you away from me, I'm going to make sure of it, I don't care how many Peacekeepers I have to make deals with how much more I have to work if there is anyway to keep you here and out of that arena I'm going to do it."

"Dad, you know that's not how it works. Its purely chance."

"I know, but I just, I can't lose you. You're all that I have left Jo and if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I'd have nothing to keep living for. I can't leave your life up to chance," he tried to hold her gaze while also holding back the tears. It took something awful to make him get even a little emotional. After all he'd been through in his life it was amazing he wasn't more damaged than he was. He'd watched everyone he loved die; his brother, his parents, his wife, there was no way Johanna was joining the list if he had anything to do with it.

But that was the problem though wasn't it? That he had nothing to do with it. It was like Johanna had said; it was purely down to chance. How could this be fair, he'd seen girls of 17 and 18 who easily had a shot of winning the games, and making it a far more interesting games than some innocent little 12 year old who'd probably be dead within the first 5 minutes, if she even lasted that long. Why were the games even here in the first place? Couldn't they of found some other way to punish people for the rebellion that most people alive now couldn't possibly of had anything to do with. And why take it out on children, children of all people. What kind of sick twisted people got joy out of watching children turn from innocent little things who thought rainbows were the most magical things in the world into cruel vicious blood thirsty monsters.

"Dad you're not going to. My name's come out of that bowl already and yes over the years it can only go in more often but it will never ever again come out of it," Johanna said coming round the table to sit on his lap. He allowed her to sit there curled into him as she had so many times already today. For a while they stayed there safe for another year allowing all the worries from the day pass them by because they had each other, and no matter what happened no matter how far away they were from each other there would always be something more connecting them.

Jason trudged into his lodge. He hadn't meant to be out for so long but then Johanna had been there, curled in a ball sobbing about how unfair life was. Well not that her life had been peachy, everyone knew the tragic story of her mother passing away before she was even old enough to have any memories with her, but it's not like everyone else here didn't have it tough.

He slumped into the only couch in the lodge, letting the freshly killed beaver fall onto the ground. He got up a few moments later to switch on the projector, he was lucky they were mandatory; he would never of been able to afford one otherwise. While he was up he went to the kitchen and grabbed the skinning knife and started preparing the meat for a very late dinner. It was because of habits like this that their living quarters smelled of blood with just a hint of death. But it was home and he was lucky to even have that.

He watched as the highlights of the Reaping's began. There was nothing overly fascinating to be seen. District One had the usual muscular volunteers; Two with the slightly taller better-looking volunteers; Three with the smaller kids with glasses; Four with the tanned skin, winning smiles and big green eyes; Five with the tall skinny kids looking like they would snap if you pushed them over too hard; Six with the start of the "disappointing" districts as they were known to the Capitol, from here neither of them looked older than 15 and neither would make it to any older; Seven was more interesting that usual, however they missed out Johanna's breakfast reappearing, but the male tribute probably wouldn't last a day, he was 14 and from the better off part of town; Eight had a strong looking boy but he stumbled slightly on the way to the stage, the girl was fairly unimpressive; Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve also didn't seem to hold much hope. Sophia would be glad with the victims this year.

He got up to light the fire as the unmistakable voice of Caesar Flickerman came on over the speaker, commenting on this years bunch. Jason began slicing up the dead animal, paying attention only to the tributes that were interesting or could hold some surprises. It was rare that a tribute from an outlying district would have any kind of skill other than what was expected of their home district but it wasn't unheard of. Haymitch was a perfect example of that, no one had expected him to be smart, no one had expected him to be anything really, but he knew what he was doing and he knew what he had to do. What had happened to his intelligence since then God only knew, his tributes rarely made it past the initial blood bath.

"And how about that District 7 girl?" Caesar asked his guest for tonight, Jason couldn't place her off the top of his head until he realized she was probably one of the many game makers who are only allowed out for very special occasions this close to the games. Everything must be perfect for the precious Capitols entertainment after all.

"Well she definitely has all of our attention anyway. I mean rumor has it that she didn't even know the girl she volunteered for which either means she's sensitive and is going to be picked off pretty quick or she thinks she has a chance. I mean victors from Seven aren't unheard of but, correct me if I'm wrong here, there are no female victors from Seven as of yet?"

"Why yes Twinkle that is correct. Do you think it's possible that we could have the first female victor from Seven on our hands this year?"

"Pfft, Twinkle," Jason muttered to himself. The Capitol didn't half have strange names for their kids. He'd rather risk fighting to the death with 23 other kids that have a name like Spandex.

"It definitely shouldn't be overlooked as a possibility. I think we'll have to wait until the training to get a better idea of what to expect."

Jason didn't need to wait until training to know what to expect. His sister would have a high enough score to join the Careers. She'd kill them off while they slept and then pick off the rest of the kids wandering hopelessly through the arena. It was a plan they'd devised together years ago when their parents passed away and they needed a way to survive. Of course not many people in the town were aware of their parents deaths, only those who really needed to know. Him and Sophia would be forced into the community center for sure if too many people became aware of it. Their only chance was for one of them to win the games, and the house and food that came with it. They thought they would've been able to last at least another year with what was left for them but it was getting too risky and if they carried on like this they wouldn't have the strength to train for the games let alone compete in them.

Sophia was coming home and it was all going to be fine. So why was there that voice at the back of his head telling him not to get his hopes up?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"What the hell was that?" Jason asked lazily as Johanna went to retrieve the knife for what felt like the 50th time that morning. He had asked this question every single time she missed the tree, which was every time, and she was growing more and more tempted to suggest that she might be better at hitting an actual live target.

"It was me throwing a knife, honestly J anyone would think you were going blind in your old age," Johanna replied, pulling the knife out of the ground with a little bit too much force.

"Oh look who's finally developing a personality," he said jumping out of the tree he'd been sitting in since they arrived. He walked over to the line he'd drawn in the ground for her and took one of the knives from her. "Ok so for practice you want to be standing side on, with your stronger arm closest to the target. Point the blade of the knife towards yourself and then just flick it towards the target. It's the flick that gives the knife the momentum to hit the target, focus on that. Make sure your exhaling when you release it though, just makes aiming a little easier. Also closing one eye can sometimes help focus on where you're aiming but I just find it irritating," he explained before throwing the knife right into the center of the target. "See, easy. Now you try." He took a step away from the line and motioned for Johanna to take to the floor.

She stood with her right arm closest to the tree as instructed, which also meant her back was to Jason. She inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times before closing her left eye and really focused on the image of the knife in the target. On her third breath out she flicked her wrist and watched the knife fly through the air and straight into the tree.

Jason instantly ran to pick her up into a bear hug. "Aah see there's the little killer I knew was secretly there all along!" he shouted with glee, while spinning her around, forgetting that the forest hardly had the most uncluttered floor and they were both soon falling towards the ground thanks to Jason not noticing a large tree root.

They lay there laughing for a while before Johanna eventually asked "so why not just tell me that from the start and save us all this time?"

"I wanted to see if you had any kind of natural skill, which clearly you don't," he replied raising his eyebrows at her, challenging her to disagree.

"Hey one day I'll be the most trained killer to have ever walked through these forests," she bragged looking straight at him. He wasn't sure but he could have sworn there was some serious determination in there. Not that he was complaining it would make training easier if she actually wanted to learn this stuff.

"You just keep telling yourself that Princess," he replied slumping down so he was lying fully on the ground. He knew one day she'd be good, but the best? That was out of the question. She was too caring, she wanted people to like her and when she thought they didn't she would cry and get upset and whiney and generally unbearable in Jason's mind. She would be able to throw knives into a tree no problem, but into an actual person, that was debatable.

"I will," she said stubbornly. It was weird being close to Jason. She had only really known him a day but here they were with him calling her a weakling and her determined to prove him wrong. When they'd bumped into each other in the forest that morning she had initially been worried but then he offered to teach her how to throw the knives he was carrying she had been weirdly intrigued. Plus he didn't seem like he was going to do her any harm. "So how are the games going?" she asked. It wasn't that she hadn't been watching them, the Peacekeepers made sure everyone was, but Jason seemed to notice things she didn't even think of.

It took him a moment to recover from the question; it was a little out of the blue. "Nothing exciting going on really, they're starting the betting polls soon. Reckon Sophia will be somewhere near the top of the polls, not top 5 though cause well, she's District 7 after all. Those spots will go to the four Careers and that guy from District 4, the one they keep referring to as some kind of God. The training scores will be more interesting though because so far all they know is that Sophia has to have some kind of interesting back story, when she gets a high training score there going to seriously start wondering if she could win, which she will," he tagged the last bit on the end, reminding himself that his sister would be coming home, that it was all going to be over sooner rather than later and he'd be set for life.

"How can you tell that kind of thing?"

"How do you mean?"

"How can you tell who's going to interest the Capitol and who's not after just watching the Reaping's and a couple of interviews. I mean like that guy from 4, he's 14 shouldn't stand a chance against Sophia yet you're sure the Capitol are going to rank him higher than her, why?"

"Because even though Sophia's interesting she's from an outer district and is good looking but not to the Capitols standards. The kid is from 4, which is basically a tag along career district, and is perfect in terms of what the Capitol looks for. Yeah he's young but he's a threat because he's charming and he'll get the sponsors, which are basically what keeps you alive."

Johanna wasn't sure how to react to this. Everything he said had made sense, but he was putting his own sister down in the rankings in such a way that almost seemed like he didn't care. "Ah," was all she could think of in terms of a response.

"Now you, stop distracting me and lets get back to teaching you how to actually hit a target," Jason said, realizing that Johanna no longer wanted to continue the conversation, and pushed himself up off the ground and began climbing up the tree again.

Johanna sighed and pulled herself up too before collecting the knife from the tree, it wasn't difficult as it hadn't sunk in too deeply, and then returning to the line. The next few hours were spent with Johanna throwing knives at the tree, Jason making snarky comments and occasionally actually giving useful advice and Johanna complaining about the pain in her arm, to which his response was always "No pain, no gain," which seemed like a stupid saying to her but she couldn't be bothered with the argument that would follow if she pointed this out.

Eventually parts of the sun began disappearing behind the taller trees casting a shadow over the small training area. Jason jumped out of the tree breaking Johanna's concentration and causing the knife she had just thrown to go into a tree a good two meters away from where she was aiming.

"Nice shot Princess," Jason commented jogging over to the tree to retrieve his knife.

"It's not my fault. You scared me," Johanna complained.

"Really. And here was me thinking it'd be ever so difficult to scare the brave Johanna Mason," he muttered, not really caring if she heard or not. "Come on then, time to go."

"But we've not been here that long," she whined. Was she ever going to stop that Jason wondered. He knew he needed her but he wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with this.

"We've been here at least three hours. You're dad's going to be getting worried now, and he's going to be protective over you just now anyway. Especially since he technically doesn't know where you are," he replied, holding the knife up to the sunlight checking that the blade could still be used for his hunt tonight. Too often he'd had to replace knives that he'd trained too much with and made them too blunt to use for anything but training. "Plus I have things I need to do," it wasn't that he didn't trust Johanna, he just didn't trust her not to blab to half the town with whatever he told her.

"No we haven't."

"Johanna when we arrived the sun was there," he stated, pointing in the sky for clarity, "it's now there," he added pointing towards the general direction of the sun. "It's been three hours, trust me," he didn't like having to explain everything to this kid. He had no idea how Sophia had had the patience to teach him, but at least he hadn't questioned what she taught him, simply observed and taken it in.

"Oh. How do you know so much J?" she questioned, she could tell she irritated him, she never meant to she just didn't understand what he was on about half the time.

"Because I listen," and when he answered like that it really didn't help her either. It was like answering one question but then making her want to ask 10 more, which would only irritate him further. It was a weird relationship they had created. But one they both needed. Johanna because he had all the answers to all the questions she needed to ask. And he needed her to distract him from the fact any day now his sister was going to enter whatever kind of death trap the game makers had created this year, and was possibly never going to come out.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"So Sophia why don't you tell the lovely people of the Capitol why you chose to volunteer. I think you are the first ever volunteer from District 7! What a claim that is," Caesar spoke in the excited, irritating voice of the Capitol.

"Well that girl looked so small. How could I let her take my claim to glory?" Sophia answered in a confident almost cocky voice, which won her cheers of approval from the Capitol audience.

"My, my, my you are confident and we love it don't we all!" Caesars question was answered with more cheers from the crowd. Sophia was good at this thought Jason. It was the thing she did miles better than him. Being a guy he could easily outrun her and when it came to strength training they weren't even close in competition but when it came to people Jason simply had no time for them. Sophia on the other hand was lovable. She could smile at people and make them want to be her friend, for her to know their face. But that wasn't what the Capitol wanted; they wanted a viscous killer. And that was exactly what they were going to get. Sophia smiled into the audience; lapping up the attention just they way they wanted her to. "So what kind of things should we look out for from you in the arena?"

"Everything I do of course," she replied without hesitation, smile still plastered on her face.

"What a fabulous answer from such a fabulous young lady!" Caesar looked like he was genuinely enjoying the interview. No wonder, Sophia's interview was well worth talking about, finally an insight into the mysterious volunteers mind. "And with that 10 in training we are all very excited to see what kind of tricks you have up your sleeves for us!"

"Oh Caesar I can't possibly give away all my secrets just yet, I have to keep some surprises for the arena or you all might get bored and we simply couldn't allow that!"

"Well I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm sure you will do everything but disappoint!"

"Well I am yet to have a complaint," Sophia added a wink at the end of her sentence for good measure.

"So what about life at home? I bet a strong, confident and may I saw beautiful girl such as yourself has boys falling at your feet! I mean you've certainly had that effect here!" Again the crowd didn't fail to respond, this time with wolf whistles mixed into the cheering.

"Oh a few flings here and there but nothing too serious. Couldn't have anything distracting me from what I really wanted to do with my life now could I?" her answer was perfect. The entire population of the Capitol was shrieking with excitement.

"So you've always wanted to compete in the games then?" Caesar asked expecting the answer to be once again amazing.

"Well of course? I mean I could hardly waste my skills being a lumberjack. What a waste of such a pretty face," she practically screamed victor-material. Jason watched in admiration. She was there risking her life, acting like someone they laughed at every year and all so that he would never have to go into those games, all so that they could stay together without the fear of starvation or being caught hunting by the peacekeepers. He could already imagine the comments he could make to wind her up when she got home from this. How had he ever thought she wouldn't make it? She was perfect and being District 7 meant the careers would still underestimate her and that's where she would have the advantage.

"And that unfortunately concludes our time with you tonight! But I hope to be seeing you very soon. Everybody let's give it up for the magnificent Sophia Beech!" The crowd went wild. Cheering and whooping like their life depended on it. She had secured at least a few sponsors with that performance, admittedly probably mostly creepy males but sponsors were sponsors and so long as she had them she had a chance.

Jason looked down at the notes he'd taken so far, deciding that the rest of the tributes probably weren't paying attention to. The training scores had been far from impressive and he doubted highly they had any hidden skills. The careers this year were good but not the best that he'd ever seen. Sophia would be prepared for much worse from them, which would hopefully make her more cautious than necessary giving her yet another edge.

Suddenly Jason found himself looking forward to tomorrow. By midnight tomorrow the Careers would be dead, Sophia would be one step closer to coming home and then it was just a matter of waiting. The games were becoming a bit of an inconvenience really delaying his sisters' return, which was inevitably going to happen.

As Johanna and her father sat there watching the tributes from the outer districts fake confidence so they could try and scrape together enough sponsors to send them some scraps of bread if they made it past the bloodbath, which for many of them seemed unlikely.

"So where did you go today then sweetie?" her father asked as the boy from nine, Troy she thought his name was, made a fairly unimpressive attempt to sound brave in the face of his death.

"Just around the forest. I tried to find some more thistles but I think I picked them all already," she said putting on just a hint of sadness at the end before looking at him with her bright puppy dog eyes that she knew he couldn't question.

"Aww sweetie, you know you're not meant to pick those. You always come back with sore hands," he responded, stroking her hair but never removing his eyes from the screen on the wall.

"I know but they're just so pretty daddy," she mumbled quietly. Every time she had brought the rare flower home he had spent the remainder of the evening fixing up her tiny hands.

"I know sweetie, I know. But sometimes it's the pretty things that hurt you the most," he stated before kissing her forehead and ending the conversation.

Johanna went back to watching the screen and began to understand why her mother had chosen to watch the Games only when it was completely necessary, it was heartbreaking watching children knowingly be sent to the slaughter. She felt attached to them; after all she was meant to be there with them. She was meant to be one of those hopeless cases sitting there as Caesar Flickerman tried to find some strength in them, a task that seemed to be impossible.

Never again would she allow herself to feel like she was one of them. She was a Mason. Masons were strong and brave and could conquer anything. She was not the prey: she was the hunter. She just had to prove it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

_Ten._

Close up of the cornucopia. If there was an axe it was well hidden.

_Nine._

Sophia was between the girl from 9 and the boy from 5.

_Eight._

The terrain looked easy enough to run quickly on.

_Seven._

There were trees surrounding the cornucopia. Gave people a place to hide.

_Six._

The knives were the closest weapons, not necessarily a bad thing.

_Five._

Sophia leaned forward onto her right leg, her left leg slightly behind. Ready to pounce.

_Four._

Why did Jason feel nervous this was stupid it would all be over soon?

_Three._

Sophia's eyes were fixed on the cornucopia.

_Two._

Jason inhaled deeply.

_One._

"COME ON SOPHIA!" Jason yelled. Watching the live projection closely as his sister jumped from her platform and straight onto the girl from nine, who was clearly trying to make a beeline for the trees. They rolled over a few times before Sophia ended up on top and strangled her before getting up to join the bloodbath. She jumped over a body about halfway there. At that moment a spear flew through the air straight at her, she dodged it professionally and was on her feet again in a second. She pulled the spear out of the ground and threw it at the boy from three just before he hit the tree line. At least his last thoughts would have been ones of freedom.

She didn't stop to watch the body hit the ground before turning back to the problem at hand. She headed further into the bloodbath, which grew less and less populated by the second. The brute from two sliced through the last non-Career kid there, Jason thought she was from twelve but he couldn't bet on it.

"What're you playing at Seven hurry up and get here!" the idiot from One yelled. Jason knew he'd be the first one to go when Sophia got round to picking them off.

"Sheesh what's your rush Power?" Sophia yelled back.

"The more time we waste here, the further we have to go to pick off the runts," he replied sharply, Jason didn't like the way he said that at all. If someone spoke to him like that they'd be lucky to make it through the next minute.

"Fair point," she replied and then went about helping them split up the supplies. Jason didn't pay attention to Caesars comments about how it was the most accurately thrown spear he'd seen in all his years in the hunger games. What he was watching was the way the District One tributes were eyeing up Sophia. It was the same way he eyed up a beaver right before he made the kill. It was the look of a predator.

Johanna sat and watched the way the blood disappeared into the ground. Absorbed by nature, by the arena the same way it absorbed the Capitol. They were obsessed with blood, watching it squirt or spurt or flow or run from a dead tribute. If there was no blood the death was unexciting, they were worthless and they would wait around for the next time the precious liquid made a reappearance.

Her dad had decided to go for a walk and she said she was doing the same, but she couldn't stop herself from being lured into the games this year. She had to see Sophia win; reassuring though Jason was that she would be the one leaving the arena she still felt she had to see it with her own eyes. She had curled into a ball, with her knees against her chest as she sent out a silent prayer to the families and friends of those already lost in the name of the Capitols entertainment.

Jason twirled the knife around in his hand. It was a way of stopping his mind from wandering. He had to notice everything, every tiny detail would be important at this point. There was no way he could relay his thought to Sophia but he couldn't help it. He felt like if he missed something she would miss it too and that could mean the unthinkable.

The career pack made their way through the forest. Well half of them. District One tributes had stayed back at the cornucopia incase any of the other tributes decided to try their luck at stealing supplies. This left Sophia with District Two, which Jason was not comfortable with. District Two was known for being violent just for the sake of being violent. One year a tribute from there had grown so bored at the lack of tributes to kill he started attacking everything around him; trees, flowers, rocks anything and everything that he could find. Needless to say he was suspiciously killed off in a fire that was only in his area of the arena. District One was bad, but at least they had some honor and wouldn't just kill for the sake of it. But after her display with Power or whatever his name was and they way they had been eyeing her up it was probably best they got some distance before he pushed her too far and she lost it.

They were stumbling around in the forest, seemingly having some idea where the others had run off too but Jason could tell that no one had been that way.

"So what's the plan here?" Sophia asked, just as the knife hit her in the center of her forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Johanna watched as Sophia's body slumped onto the ground, the crimson of the blood mixing with the gold of her hair, some also spilling into her bright blue eyes, which were still open. As the cannon sounded Johanna felt every part of her crumple. She felt as though she was shrinking, everything just seemed so pointless so worthless. How had that happened? Was it even real? Had it been some form of cruel nightmare? No it couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Jason. He'd be, was there even a word for it?

Just keep running. Just keep running. Jason felt the ground with every step of his bare feet. Every scratch as he ran through the trees making sure that he ran the hardest path he knew. The pine needles stuck in his feet, twigs that had snapped off of trees reached out and tried to grab his ankles, some of them managing to draw blood as they snagged on his bare skin. He turned the corner just a little too sharply and hadn't left enough time for him to jump over the root. He tumbled into a heap on the ground, his knees and elbows scraping across the ground, filling with dirt as he slid. He exhaled just a little too heavily causing pine needles and dirt molecules to enter the air and consequently his eyes. He punched the ground, hard.

He knew there was no point getting up now; he had stopped running. He had stopped and allowed the thoughts to enter his head. The image of Sophia with the knife in her head circling around and around in his own head refusing to leave. The moment the life had left her eyes, the moment he realized how unprepared she had been. The moment he realised it didn't matter how much they planned, the one thing they didn't think of was the Careers having plans of their own. And now there were no more plans they could make. It was over. They were over. There was nothing he could do to fix it.

He forced himself into a sitting position and looked out into the forest. He had often admired its beauty with Sophia. Well, _with_ Sophia was one way to put it; he had admired and she had mocked his admiration. How he wished he could hear her make one last comment about it. About how it was all just "trees and some fungus and some other stuff". Listen to her laugh, see her smile. But he couldn't. The time for that had gone; the Capitol and their games of blood and betrayal had snatched it from him. From them. It was their time; the time they were meant to have together. The time they were going to use the rest of their lives filling and it wasn't there.

He grabbed his hair tightly with both hands and let the tears start. He hunched over resting his elbows against his knees and let the full situation hit him. It hurt everywhere; not just because his sobbing was making his diaphragm move irrationally, or because the crying made it feel like his skull was crushing his brain but because he had lost everything. He didn't even realize how much he had to lose until it had gone. Didn't realize how much he would miss her, how much he had depended on her. But that was it though, he had always thought of himself as being alone and now that he truly was he would give anything to have someone there.

Johanna trailed her feet through the forest, barely having the energy to make it to the one place she felt safe. She tried to find the beauty in the forest, it was usually so easy to do; the way the trees spiral up reaching towards the sun, the way the flowers just pop out of the ground to see that you're ok, but today it was lost on her. They had lost all meaning. There was nothing here that was going to fix things.

So why had she come? Why had her feet lured her into the forest? Because she wanted to be alone, but she had been alone. Her father would no doubt be gone for hours yet and still here she was. Wandering. Searching? But for what? An answer? An answer as to why the Capitol was so cruel. An answer to how they could live with themselves after years and years of watching 100's of innocent children die and rewarding the survivors with madness. How they could ruin the childhood of so many and not even bat an eyelash. How they could fill the citizens of the Districts lives with terror and loss and have time to sip champagne over it. It was sick. It was mentally disturbed. It was…. Jason?

She looked at the boy hunched over sobbing hysterically, as she had done only days ago and tried to work out if it was her friend. Friend seemed an odd thing to call the boy who was training her to be a killer, if he could even still train her. She hadn't really thought about what she would say to him. How she could even say anything to him. He had lost his sister, more than that, the person he was clearly closest to in the world.

She debated if she could just turn around and walk away. He clearly wanted to be alone otherwise he wouldn't be here. But it seemed wrong to leave him like this, to leave him with nothing but his sorrow for company. Nothing but memories to hold him together.

"J," she whispered. She knew how distraught he was since he hadn't heard her approaching.

"What do you want princess?" he hissed, the princess clearly meant as more of an insult than anything else.

"J do you want some…"

"No. I don't want anything. At least nothing you can give me."

"J, I'm so sorry."

"Why? Because it's your fault she's dead?" the venom in his voice stung almost as much as his words.

"J, I never knew, I thought since she volunteered…"

"Yeah that's the problem right there. You thought. You thought you knew everything that there was to know in the situation. You thought that because you're life was fine that everything else would be too. Well guess what Johanna you're twelve! You're too stupid to even begin to understand what goes on in those games and yet you were spared. You were saved. By her. And now she's dead and here you are, clueless as ever. It's a lot worse when someone older dies in those games you know, because they've started to live! Started to think about their life once they're free of the Reapings. Whereas kids like you don't need to think about that. You just need to keep being brave for daddy and it all turns out fine doesn't it!" he was screaming at her, still hunched on the ground. His hands grabbing onto his hair more painfully now, he wanted to pull it out, for everything to be gone. Especially her. She had no idea. How could she?

"J before she left she told me to look after you."

"She said it to make you feel better. To make you feel like you could some how pay her back for her sacrificing herself for you. You never can you know. You'll never ever be able to pay her back for what she did for you. The risk she took in the first place!"

"J won't your parents need you?" Jason looked up at this. It was only then Johanna could see how bad he was. His cheek had been torn apart by what could only of been branches, leaving a trickle of dry blood down his cheek, it almost looked like it was blood he'd been crying. His face, neck arms, legs and any other uncovered skin was coated in dirt and dust making him look like a wild animal. His eyes were the worst part though. Where they usually danced like golden sunshine, laughing at how pathetic Johanna was, they now burned like fire. The contrast between the bright gold iris' and the red puffiness only adding to his look of anger.

"My parents? What do you know about my parents?"

"I know Sophia mentioned them before she left…"

"What did she say _exactly_!"

"She said she didn't know if they would be able to handle you when she was gone," Johanna blurted out, fearing the look in his eyes. It was the look of something wild, something untamed, something dangerous.

"Go."

"But J."

"What part of the word confused you Princess?"

With that she disappeared, running back to her home as quickly as she could wanting to block today from her memory. Hoping she could wake up tomorrow and it would all have been a nightmare. That Sophia would still be alive, that some how in spite of everything she would be alive and safe somewhere, like Johanna wished she was.

What had Sophia been thinking? The kid, what could she do? Why was she so important that Sophia had chosen her to be the one to look after him? Not that he needed looking after but still something was there. Something Sophia had seen that Jason hadn't, which was rare at the best of times. Then he realized why he needed her. He needed her if he wanted to keep his sanity, and he had just torn them both to shreds.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jason slumped down in his home. Not that it felt like that to him anymore but he couldn't think of anything else to call it. The lodge seemed like he was distancing himself too much from what had happened, like he was shunning the memories he had of the place and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to remember them, so much that it felt like he was in the memories, with Sophia and his parents. But it was impossible. Because that's all they were now wasn't it, memories that only he would know.

He switched on the projector but put the volume down as low as it would allow, watching the mandatory games. Not that there was much point in anyone in the village watching it anymore. Both the District Seven tributes had gone within the first few hours of the games, but still they were forced to keep watching. There was no point in it though. No one ever supported another District as to do so was awful. To wish the children of someone you knew to die so that someone else's could live. But that's what the Capitol wanted though. They wanted them to side against each other, blame the entire District for the death of a loved one. It was clever but like every plan it would have it's faults. All Jason had to do was find them and then….

"Jason Beech open the door!" the loud authorative voice of a peacekeeper accompanied by the banging of a fist on wood interrupted Jason's daydream. Could they get in his mind now and see what he wanted to do to Snow? Or were they here to make some kind of taunting jokes about his sister? Either way they were in trouble. Jason got up and walked towards the door, thoughts of sticking a knife into President Snows head still dancing through his mind.

"Can I help you?" Jason asked, as politely as he could manage. He didn't like the peacekeepers, no one did, but there was no point starting the fight with them. If it was going to happen it would happen on their terms, he would simply end it.

"You need to come with us immediately," to voice sounded like a robot. No emotion. No heart. Not even arrogance. Just a voice saying words.

"And why would that be?" Jason slumped against the doorway, preparing himself to make a run for it if need be but he couldn't let them see that was what he was planning to do.

"Is there anyone else here we can have this conversation with?" the peacekeeper replied raising an eyebrow at the boy. He was known to the peacekeepers as one to watch. He never got into trouble but something about him didn't seem right, like he was going to crack at any moment.

"Why? Aren't I enough to handle?" Jason responded, keeping his gaze fixed on the leader of the group but watching the other three out of the corner of his eye. The two at the back were fidgeting nervously, clearly new to the area. The one at the front who was talking would clearly like to think he was in control but it was the one who wasn't talking that had Jason's attention.

"Do you live with anyone else?" the peacekeeper tried to remain calm but Jason could tell he was getting to him. They were used to people being scared, used to having fear already installed in people rather than having to install it themselves, but Jason was the exception to that. The way he saw it he had very little worth fighting for so why not just fight for the sake of it?

"No. But I find myself to be more than enough company."

"In that case you need to come with us at once," the peacekeeper advanced towards the house and Jason, reaching out to grab Jason. He jerked back out of the mans reach.

"Can I ask why?" Jason said now ready to leap into action if the answer wasn't satisfactory.

"Your name is Jason Beech, brother to Sophia Beech who died in the hunger games yesterday," Jason clenched his fist at the mention of Sophia. "You are only fifteen years old, therefore we cannot legally allow you to live alone. We are here to take you to the Community Centre where you will stay until you are eighteen and then you are free to live wherever the mayor deems suitable."

"What?" Jason gave them a look of pure disbelief. They couldn't do this, could they? He could support himself; he didn't ask anything form them he hadn't even ever taken out tesserae. I mean sure he'd heard of them taking kids into care when they couldn't look after themselves but he could. They didn't need to do this.

"You heard, now come on we haven't got all day," the peacekeepers once again went to grab him and this time succeeded. They boxed him in between them while Jason tried to make some sense of the situation.

He knew he was part of District Seven. He knew the Capitol were in control. He knew that being from District Seven there was no way he could try and over throw the Capitol. Yet.

Arden Mason wandered through the town. He never really knew what to buy, it had always been his wife Iris's job, after 12 years he should of learned but he just stuck with the same routine. He couldn't control much in his life any more. Couldn't even guarantee his own child's safety, which made him feel even worse about things. It wasn't like he blamed himself, he just wanted the right that every parent in the Capitol had, knowing that their child would be safe year in and year out.

That was when he saw him. When he looked across the street and saw the boy being shoved along rather unnecessarily by four peacekeepers. Something about him seemed all too familiar. His blonde ruffled hair coated with grease, his clothes scrunched up and torn, his skin where it wasn't coated in dirt had been stained in dried blood. Arden couldn't get rid of the feeling that he was important. Of course.

He ran across the street and blocked the path of the small squad. "Can I ask what's going on?" he questioned, knowing the answer was probably going to be a slap in the face and being told to move on. But he couldn't leave the boy like this.

"Apparently I am incapable of looking after myself because I'm so little and defenseless, but I need four big strong peacekeepers to take me everywhere," the boy mumbled, Arden couldn't help but smile, he was exactly like his father had been. His remark earned him a hard slap on the back of the head.

"He's being taken to the community center," the peacekeeper replied bluntly.

"Why?"

"He lives alone and is a minor. He will stay there until he is eighteen and then the mayor will allocate him a house."

Arden took a moment to think about this. He was just managing to support himself and Johanna, but clearly the boy could hunt, it was no secret that was how his sister had managed to get in with the Careers in the games, and that was something he had never been able to do let alone have time to learn.

"Well he can stay with me," Arden replied, not sure if this was the best idea he'd ever had. He knew what Iris would have said, that if someone needed him and he could help then it was his duty to do so. She had always been the caring one in the relationship, and the smart one. He was simply there to look after her and make sure she didn't care for other people to the extent that she put herself in harms way. Johanna had inherited the same qualities as her mother, which was probably the reason he was so protective over her.

Jason didn't know how to react to the offer. He knew that Arden was Johanna's father. He knew that years ago he had been friends with his own father. But he owed Jason nothing. And this was a lot more than nothing.

Clearly his request had taken the peacekeepers off guard as they mumbled amongst themselves debating whether or not it was allowed. He doubted this sort of thing happened often. Usually people struggled so much to look after their own children that they wouldn't dare try and adopt another one, no matter how sad the kids from the community center looked no one dared risking starving their own children.

"Well, I umm, I guess that could be allowed. Assuming that you understand fully that should this prove to be too much of a strain on you then he will be taken into care. And that his actions are now held firmly on your shoulders until he turns eighteen," the peacekeeper tried to make up for their earlier unknowing ways by listing the rules already obvious to everyone. Jason looked into the mans eyes and was taken aback that he was looking the peacekeeper straight in the eyes, not backing down.

"Yup, sounds fair to me," he didn't break the gaze, standing with a straight back towering over the peacekeeper it was hard to believe he was related to the tiny girl he was attempting to train. Aww crap, Jason hadn't even thought of that. He hadn't spoken to Johanna since he'd seen her in the woods; he doubted that she wanted to see him all that much let alone live with him.

"Ok then, he's all yours," the peacekeeper sounded slightly pleased to be rid of the irritating child, he chucked Jason in the general direction of Arden but Jason managed to stop himself colliding with the man who'd just saved him from the community center. The peacekeepers walked off and left the pair alone.

"You didn't need to do that you know," Jason mumbled, realizing the state he was in.

"I know. But you look like you need help and I doubt you'd get it there," the man replied indicating towards the community center.

"Yeah, I guess so. Well, umm thanks," Jason said, not really sure how to repay him. "You know I can hunt. I mean I know I'm not meant to but I'll bring you whatever I catch and…"

"Jason that's all fine and well but that's not why I wanted to help you."

"Then why?"

"Because you needed it. And with the Capitol continuing to pull us apart every chance they get I figure we should at least stick together in our own District."

And with that the pair began walking back towards the edge of the woods, and the home they would now share with Johanna.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hey to anyone reading this firstly thanks for reading and for sticking around until Chapter Eleven! :D Secondly if you have the time to review then that would be amazing and would help me a lot! Seriously anything at all you feel like you have to say go for it! And enjoy the reading :)**

Chapter Eleven

Johanna walked through the forest, slightly oblivious to the world around her but she preferred things this way. It was nice getting lost in what felt like another world, a world where it was just her; there was no one she could hurt here. She greeted the reassuring crunch of leaves under her feet with a smile while looking up at the trees. She always used to wish she could be as tall as the tallest tree, being able to see over the entire District, watching over those she cared about.

She admired them, the way they all reached out to each other, almost like they needed each other for support, after all they had seen a lot. They had been here before the hunger games, before the Capitol probably. She listened to the wind rustle between the leaves and wished with all her might she could hear the stories they would be able to tell. Wished she could hear their secrets.

She followed the light trickling through the branches to light up patches of the forest floor, loving the way that it lit up the ground. She followed one such path of light and that's when she noticed him.

He wasn't doing anything unusual for him, just practicing throwing his knives into a tree as usual. Of course, now she simply had to jump on him. She hid behind a tree planning her next move. She carefully removed her shoes, realizing they would create too much noise. She would have to move from tree to tree, making sure to hide behind each one…

"Hey Princess," the voice whispered, Johanna let out a tiny scream before hitting Jason in the stomach. His response was simply to laugh. "Aww is someone sad that they couldn't sneak up on Jason?" he ended the sentence in a pout, which only made Johanna want to hit him more.

"Who said I was trying to sneak up on you?" she asked. He simply looked from her eyes, down to her shoes and then back to her with that irritating smug smile on his face. "You know there are words for people like you. Words a lady should never use."

"You're a lady? Why didn't you tell me, I would've bowed sooner," Jason replied bowing slightly, he earned a whack on the back of the head, which made him laugh even more. She was so easy to wind up, and he did love winding people up.

"Shut up and go throw some knives," Johanna moaned. Every day she hoped he'd become less like Jason and more like a gentleman. Not that it was ever going to happen and if it ever were to happen she didn't know how she'd deal with it but still it was a nice thought.

"As you wish, your ladyship," he smiled, this time dodging the slap that she aimed at his face. He retrieved the knives as requested and returned to his friend. "Ok all joking aside what do you want to do today?" he asked, she'd recently started getting good with the knives, hitting the target every time and the center of the target most of the time from any angle, even from up in the trees.

"I dunno what were you doing before I got here?" she asked, taking one of the knives and playing with it between her fingers.

"Just practicing some knife work, can't have you getting better than me already now can we?" he said, ruffling her hair because he knew she hated it.

"Aww is someone getting jealous?" she asked, hurling the knife at the tree and into the center of the target to prove her point.

"Not usually, but that I have to admit I am a little impressed with," Jason mumbled. Johanna looked smugly at him, knowing that she was good. He had liked her when she didn't know she was good, although she was a lot more fun now she knew what she was doing.

"Can I try spears yet?" she asked. Yes there she was. He had known her almost a year now and there was that little hint of a thirteen-year-old girl glinting through. Sometimes it was easy to forget how old she was, she was very mature compared to the others her age. Then there was moments like this, where her big puppy dog eyes begged him to teach her something new and exciting.

"Why not, I'm feeling generous today," Jason shrugged, he'd enjoy being the teacher again. Much as he was proud that Johanna had learned so much, she did learn fast. "Come on then, keep up," he yelled as he started running into the forest, Johanna setting off just moments behind him. He was soon in the distance though, weaving between the trees like a hare. She soon lost him in the shadows.

"J!" she yelled. "J this isn't funny!" panic started setting in; he wouldn't just leave her in the woods. It wasn't like she couldn't find her way back; it was more that he didn't want her that would hurt. "For Gods sake J just get back here already!"

Then Jason appeared. Naturally, not simply strolling towards her nicely and apologizing for running off and leaving her. Oh no that would be far too nice. Instead he chose to jump down from the tree, kindly using her as a landing mat. "J!" she screamed, punching him square in the jaw.

"Ow! What the heck was that for?" Jason asked, grabbing his jaw with his hands, rolling off her and onto the ground.

"I'm sorry did my punching you in the face interrupt your ambush attempt?" Johanna snapped, raising her eyebrows.

"No. Not ambush. Lesson. And you reward me by punching me in the face? Talk about teacher appreciation," he moaned.

"Lesson! You nearly killed me!"

"Nope. You forgot to look up."

"What the heck does that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with the fact that predators are everywhere. You should be aware of everything around you if you're planning to stop and yell out your location to the world," Jason said, rubbing his jaw. She hated the fact he made sense. Hated the fact that she now felt guilty for punching him in the face.

"Location, smocation you nearly killed me!" well she was hardly going to tell him she felt guilty.

"I'm just glad I didn't wait 'til you had the spears to try that," he muttered.

"Oh yes, I'm sure it must have been just awful for you," Johanna said through her breath, which was only just returning to a normal pace.

"Also you're too slow, I was expecting to have to run a lot further before having the chance to climb half way up a tree."

"Yeah, cause that's how to make me feel better."

"Look, you know I'm only doing this for you right? I'm not losing you as well and lets be honest here, you're hardly the luckiest person around."

"How do you mean, not losing me too?"

"Like with Sophia," Jason answered, averting his eyes to the sky. He couldn't lose her, even though she was tiny and irritating he saw her as another sister. Another chance. He had to make her ready, just in case. She would never volunteer, he wouldn't let her, but there was every chance she could be reaped again. And there was no way she'd be that blubbering mess in front of all of Panem again.

"You won't. Like you said, everyone's name only comes out of the lottery once. I'm safe," Johanna whispered, taking his hand and holding it, squeezing it slightly to reassure him. He was glad she'd come into his life, even if it was in unfortunate circumstances. "Now come one birthday boy, show me the spears!"

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Jason looked at her quizzically.

"You told me once. It's two days before Reaping," she replied in an all-knowing voice.

"I told you once? And you remembered?"

"I remember most things. It's kinda irritating sometimes cause there's a lot of nonsense in my head but it comes in handy for moments like that," she smiled sweetly at him, although he saw the flash of pain in her eyes.

"Well then better give you something to remember, lets go get some spears," he said excitedly, leading her off on yet another adventure.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"Jason where are you taking me?" Johanna asked, honestly not expecting any form of useful answer but she might as well try asking. She was blindfolded although she knew she was in the woods somewhere, she could hear the leaves rustling under their feet. But "the woods" hardly narrowed it down as it took up at least three quarters of the district easily.

"Honestly do you have no faith in me?" Jason asked. She could sense the smile in his voice, could imagine his eyes lighting up with a fake hurt that was reserved for special occasions.

"No see I have faith in you. I have faith in you to hit any target with a knife, a spear or even an axe. I have faith in you to run through the forest faster than anyone else. I have faith in you to be able to climb up any tree in the whole District. However I do not have faith in you not to lead me off a cliff while I'm blindfolded," Johanna argued. She was getting good at it, living with Jason you had to get good at arguing your point quickly or you were screwed from the beginning. He chuckled slightly at her response; glad she still had faith in him.

"I promise it will be worth it. Just be patient, yes I know that's difficult for you but I swear you won't be disappointed," he replied, leading her carefully through the forest. The route they were taking wasn't the fastest route but it was the flattest and the clearest, so Jason decided the best one for a blindfolded girl.

"You say that about everything though," she pointed out.

"And have I ever failed to impress?"

"Not yet, but there's a first time for everything," Johanna muttered before hitting a root and tripping forward, she never hit the ground though.

"You ok?" Jason asked. She was surprisingly aware of the feeling of his breath on her cheek, of how his hands felt as though they belonged on her waist.

"Yeah, fine," Johanna replied, wondering why she was suddenly a little breathless. He pulled her to her feet, removing his hands from her waist, leaving the skin behind feeling colder for some reason.

"Come on we'll never get there if you keep falling over every tiny root," Jason moaned teasingly.

"Hey, I've only fallen over…" her sentence was cut short as she squealed when Jason swept her up so he was carrying her.

"Ready Princess," he whispered. Johanna could only nod before he started walking through the forest again, slowly, making sure to avoid the few roots that he noticed. Johanna was light, easy enough to carry the rest of the way to the surprise.

"We're here!" Jason announced proudly, dropping Johanna into a heap on the ground.

"Ow!" she remarked but she couldn't put her heart into sounding hurt, she was too excited about removing the blindfold. She yanked the piece of cloth off her eyes and felt her jaw drop.

She was staring out over a lake, it wasn't very large but it was the first open water she had ever seen. The trees around the lake were ones she'd never seen before; they fell gracefully grazing the surface of the water. The sunlight reflecting off the surface of the water making everything brighter than it was normally and making her want to remember everything so much more.

"SURPRISE!" the pair chorused. Johanna looked round to see who the second voice belonged to and was swept into her fathers arm for the biggest bear hug of her life.

"Dad!" she yelled, wrapping her arms around him returning the embrace. "I thought you had to work?" she gave him a puzzled look, which he returned with the biggest smile possible.

"What and let Trouble over there take all the credit for this? Fat chance!" he laughed.

"Hey, hey, hey, not too sound to full of it but technically this was my idea," Jason butted into the father-daughter moment.

"Yeah ok Trouble, I'll give you credit, it was his idea to come to the forest for my little girls special day." Arden replied, ruffling his daughters' hair affectionately.

"Dad I'm not your little girl you know," she said, but as he looked at her, so tiny and fragile he knew it couldn't be possible.

"When you two are done can we show her the actual present?" Jason pressed. Well he was proud of it; he knew she'd love it. It had taken him weeks to perfect and a good month to find the perfect place to put it. It was pure luck he'd stumbled across the lake but as soon as he found it he knew there was no better place for Johanna.

"Alright Trouble on you go," Arden replied as Johanna skipped over to Jason taking his hand allowing him to lead her. Jason took her under an old looking tree, it was by far the biggest one Johanna had seen and there hanging down from it was a plank of wood attached to one of the lower branches by two pieces of rope intertwined with forest flowers.

"Jason it's amazing," Johanna whispered, worried that if she spoke too loudly it would all disappear.

"I know," was his only reply, Johanna usually would of hit him for such a cocky remark but she was still too in awe at the beautiful present. "Wanna try it?" he asked, letting go of her hand and running over to the swing. She followed after him laughing. She sat herself comfortably on the wood and held onto the rope as Jason pulled it backwards. "Ready Princess?" he asked, almost in a challenging voice.

"Ready," she said in a glee filled voice. She had seen Jason tying the logs together and knew that if he'd tied the knots they'd be more than stable. Even knowing this she held her breath as he released her and then laughed slightly at her own stupidity as she stayed there. It felt like she was flying, the wind rushing through her hair. Jason pushed her higher and higher and the feeling of flying increased with every swing she made.

"If you're done there the foods ready," her dad shouted from a short distance away. Suddenly she realized the slight downfall in the present.

"Jason how do I stop?" she yelled, Jason's reply was unhelpful as ever; he stood laughing at her.

"Just jump you'll be fine," he replied finally.

"Jump? Are you mad?"

"Aww is princess scared?"

"Princess is going to kill you when she works out how to get off this thing!"

"Ok fine," Jason ran round in front of her, but still a safe enough distance that she wouldn't accidentally or purposefully hit him in the face. "I'll catch you."

"You promise?" she asked, the fear not well hidden from Jason.

"I swear on my life," he replied smiling convincingly. Johanna let got of the ropes and slid off the edge of the wood into Jason's arms. Jason had underestimated the force at which she would hit him and the pair tumbled onto the ground.

"Jason are you ok? I swear I never meant to…"

"Johanna I'm fine. I'm a lot tougher than you give me credit for you know?" he smiled up at her and she couldn't help but be mesmerized by the gold of his eyes. She suddenly understood why gold was so valuable; there was no color that could compare to it in her mind.

"Are you two deaf or something?" her father yelled, now standing just a few meters away from them.

"Well I tried but Johanna decided that she wanted all the food for herself so attacked me brutally," Jason answered, earning him a punch in the chest before Johanna got up and headed off with her dad. Jason got up and followed after them obediently.

They sat around and enjoyed the feast of a rabbit that Jason had caught earlier that day and some orange sticks Arden insisted were delicious and worth the beaver he swapped for them. Jason had to admit he did find them good but they were not worth a beaver. Eventually the sun started to set so they started to pack up the few supplies he had taken, complaining it would grow dark quickly now.

"So princess, on a scale of 1 to 12 how much have you enjoyed your birthday?" Jason asked already knowing the answer. He had never seen her smile so much, not even on the day when she first managed to hit the center of the target.

"One, definitely! Thank you J," she replied, smile still spread across her face and lighting up her bright blue eyes, which were bluer today than they usually were. Jason blamed the extra sunlight.

"Right kids I'm off, some of us actually have to work hard tomorrow," Arden yelled at them. "Trouble, I know you don't need as much sleep as a normal human being but get enough sleep that you won't punch me in the face when I get you up tomorrow. I just got rid of the last bruise," he added waving to the pair as he headed back to the lodge.

"Thanks dad!" Johanna yelled back before lying back down on the grass.

"Aww is Princess sleepy?" Jason asked her in his teasing voice. Sometimes she wondered if there was any other voice he had.

"No," she answered, although she let out a slight yawn as she did.

"You want to head back?"

"Nope."

"But you're tired?"

"But then today would end. And I don't think I'm quite ready for it to end yet."

"As you wish birthday girl," Jason slumped down into the grass next to her.

"What do you think stars are?" she quizzed, rather out of the blue.

"I thought people were supposed to get less irritating as they got older?" Jason was once again hit in the stomach. "Must you always hit me?"

"Only when you deserve it. And you didn't answer my question," in all honesty she wasn't sure why she'd asked the question, but now she'd asked it she wanted the answer.

"Why do you assume that I have all the answers?"

"Because you spend so long acting like you do. Plus much as I hate to admit it you usually do have the answer." Jason tried not to smile too smugly at the last part of her comment.

"Stars are…. Whatever you want them to be."

"Wow, that was informative," she rolled over and raised her eyebrows at him. She wasn't sure why the answer had disappointed her.

"Well it's true. Maybe at some point people knew what they were. Maybe even knew why they were there and why we were blessed with such a beautiful sight every night. But no one does anymore, at least, not in this district. So your guess is as good as anyone else's."

Johanna pondered over this thought for a while. She looked at the stars wondering why they were there. Surely they weren't just there for the sake of it. "So what do you think they are?"

The question once again caught Jason off guard. He knew what he thought they were; he just didn't know why she wanted to know his thoughts.

"Sophia once told me that when you die you become a star, so that when the people you loved on earth missed you, they could look to the sky and you'd be the brightest star to them." He looked up and saw the three stars he always thought were the brightest these days, watching him back. He forced himself to look away before he let his emotions show too much.

He watched the lake; watched as waves made the reflection of the moon seem almost broken but still some how in one piece. Watched the calmest place he had ever known be disturbed only by the slightest breeze and the voices of the two lost teenagers.

"I hope that's what they are," Johanna finally whispered looking up and finding that even though she thought she'd only see one she found two stars that were overly bright against the deep blue of the nights sky. "Are you thinking about Sophia?"

"Is it that obvious?" Jason replied, not removing his gaze from the horizon.

"Not really, well a little bit. You know I'm still sorry about everything."

"Johanna don't be…"

"No I will be. Because of me not being strong and not thinking she's gone and you're stuck with me."

"She would've volunteered anyway you know? We were struggling as it was, she couldn't get a decent job to support us both and our hunting wasn't bringing in enough food. Our only hope was for one of us to win the games and the food supply that came with it. We had agreed it was meant to be me, and then she volunteered anyway, knowing I couldn't volunteer against her. When I went to see her she told me she wouldn't let me go anywhere near the Capitol, that it was better she went because she could cope. I still don't really know what she meant by that but I guess it doesn't matter that much anymore. If we could've just held off a while longer I could've got a job to support us and we'd of been fine."

"Jason that was practically a whole year away. You couldn't change it. She loved you, she would of done it to save you."

"But I loved her too. I was ready for the games, I could of won, and I could of saved us,"

"J did you see the guy who won? You weren't ready for him."

"What Finnick Odair," the venom in his voice stung Johanna, even though the rage wasn't aimed at her. "If it meant coming home I would have been ready." Johanna didn't know how to respond so instead she simply rested her head on his chest and let him wrap his arm around her.

"I'm here," she eventually whispered, not sure why it felt like the right thing to say.

"I know Princess, I know."

**Authors Note: Ok so I figured I'd put my note at the end this time really just to explain the whole "On a scale of one to twelve" thing. Basically its in reference to the districts rather than the way we say "on a scale of one to ten". So with one being the district with the best quality of life and twelve being the one with the lowest one is therefore very good and twelve not so great. Also I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :) Please review :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Wake up sleepy!" Johanna yelled before throwing herself onto a still asleep Jason. She was small, but when her full body weight hit you God did you feel it.

"Johanna, it's too early," Jason moaned, pushing her off the side of his mattress. When he'd moved in there wasn't room in either of the bedrooms for a second bed so he'd been set up in the living room. Which suited him fine because he was always the first one up, well, usually the first one up.

"But J, today's Reaping, we don't get as much time for training today," she gave him her best puppy dog eyes. He opened his eyes as much as he could and caught a glimpse of her sad face.

"You know that doesn't work on me don't you?" he said with as much effort as he could manage at this time in the morning. Of course, it did still work sometimes, but letting her know that would literally end with her getting away with murder. He looked over at the window, wondering how she'd managed to get up before him. "Princess the suns not even up!" he whined at her, "and it's raining!"

"Oh come on it's hardly raining wimp," Johanna picked herself up and repositioned herself of the edge of his bed.

"Alright, alright I'm getting up," Jason sat up in the bed.

"Don't you get cold?" Johanna asked noticing for the first time that Jason was lacking a shirt. Years of training had created a natural curve of his muscles, his collarbones protruding slightly as his weight was pressed back on his arms. Even the scars had a certain artistic quality to them.

"I think you might actually be the first girl to complain about my lack of clothing," Jason rubbed his eyes, hoping that it would wake him up a little.

"Yeah and I doubt I'll be the last. Get up already, I'm bored!"

"Well then let me get dressed and I'll meet you in your room when I'm ready."

"How do I know you won't just fall asleep again?"

"How do you know that it's just a shirt I'm not wearing?"

"On that note I'll see you in a bit," Johanna practically leapt off the bed and headed down the corridor to her room. It was weird seeing the Reaping's as an inconvenience rather than the heart-breaking affair they actually were. She had set out her dress for later, a deep blue like the nights sky and fell just past her knees. It suited her more now that she had grown up. She was small but well proportioned otherwise. Her legs had developed a curve thanks to the muscles she had developed over the past three years of training. Her long chocolate colored hair reached down her back almost to her waist, which was now beginning to be noticeably smaller than her hips. Not that she got a lot of opportunity to think about things like that. Other girls in her class had started paying attention to such things but Johanna was still far more interested in training, becoming stronger and faster and more skilled. The other girls chatted about flowers and which boy was the best looking, admittedly she had heard Jason's name mentioned a few times in there but he was still too much of a "loner" to be considered for anything more than just something nice to look at. Johanna on the other hand would sit and twirl a pencil in her hand, practicing her skills rather than bothering herself with the other girl's conversations.

"Ready?" Jason was leaning against the doorframe to her room; any sign of his previous tired state had vanished.

"Do you really need to ask?" she grabbed the bag she kept hidden under her bed. Her father was still fairly oblivious to her training with Jason everyday. The pair headed into the forest, keeping up fairly pointless chat along the way, Johanna teasing Jason for moaning about the rain.

Eventually they reached the tree stump that had become a sort of starting point for their training. They dumped the bags on the ground and took in the current conditions; there was definitely rain, but it was growing lighter by the second, it also meant there was clouds overhead, creating a slight gloom over the forest, there was little wind though which was always good.

"Start with a jog?" Johanna asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why not," Jason replied, already beginning by setting the pace. Even though Johanna was now gaining on him in terms of skills throwing knives and spears and even using axes she was nowhere near being able to out run him. He jogged at a pace that he knew would challenge her, without tiring her out too much, slaloming between the trees occasionally to make sure she was paying attention; which she was as always. After about half an hour or so Jason came to a stop at the lake. Johanna spat out the saliva that had been building up in her mouth.

"You really are such a lady sometimes," Jason panted, he wasn't overly puffed out but the run had been long enough to take some of the breath out of him.

"Aww like you'd be able to put up with me if I actually was a lady," she put her hands on her knees and bent over, helping the air to make it's way back into her lungs.

"Yeah now go for a sprint, before your heart slows down too much," Jason encouraged, already setting his left foot behind his right in preparation.

"Have I mentioned I hate you sometimes?"

"Hey! Who dragged who out of bed this morning," Jason yelled back, now almost fully recovered from the jog. Johanna forced herself to stand next to him and mimic his position. "Ready?"

"Ready," she focused her eyes at the edge of the forest, it was roughly 100 meters away, the sprint would be over in a matter of moments. The ground was still dirt but in places it turned to mud, making the sprint a little more interesting.

"Go!" Jason yelled. Johanna and him setting off at the same time. Despite of the obvious height and strength advantage that Jason had, Johanna had been blessed with a natural ability to run. She seemed to have a natural ability for a lot of things in Jason's mind. Not that that's what he was thinking about now, he was focusing on breathing quickly, moving his arms in time with his alternate leg making sure each time his foot made contact with the ground he propelled himself forward enough. His eyes remained focused on the end point, he didn't need to look at the ground, even though it had been raining the ground wasn't wet enough to have become overly slippery. Seconds later he spun around to watch Johanna cross the finish less than a second after him; this time they were both bent over in an attempt to regain a normal breathing rate. "Not bad Princess," Jason said, after about a minute of heavy breathing on both parts.

"Not bad, I was this close to beating you you know," Johanna used her fingers to indicate a tiny distance.

"You wish," Jason stood up now looking down at her.

"Don't need to wish for something that's already happened," she corrected him. She was determined that one day she would at least come close to beating him, she knew that chances of that happening were slim but she continued to live in hope.

"You keep telling yourself that Princess," Jason started heading back towards where they started the race, Johanna heading off a few moments later when she felt more confident that her legs wouldn't collapse.

"Ok weird question," Johanna began her sentence, just as she started catching up to Jason.

"Do you ever have non-weird questions?" Jason asked, not sure what to expect this time. At least she'd started warning him about her ridiculous questions, rather than just blurting out anything that came into her head.

"No, but it makes life more interesting. And do you think it's better to be underestimated or overestimated in the games?" Johanna blurted out before she could talk sense into herself. It wasn't a weird question, given how much they talked about the games sometimes, the strategies of past victors, the different skills they had that would become handy if they were to be reaped, but she knew since tributes overestimating Sophia's abilities is what had gotten her killed it was best to warn Jason before asking.

"Depends how the careers are looking at you I guess," Jason replied, looking straight ahead, his hands balling into fists and his jaw clenching slightly.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, if their eyeing you up like you'd be an easy picking if you want to survive the bloodbath you have to get a high training score to get them to back off. But if they're pretty much ignoring you then you could probably get away with being underestimated then giving them a nice surprise in the arena."

"What if you were to start getting underestimated before you even met the other tributes?" Now she had Jason's attention.

"And how would you go about doing that?"

"Well when I broke down when I got reaped, I'm pretty sure no one would've even considered I'd be a threat. If I did something like that, but with the training I have now, I could easily take out the Careers and any other strong contenders without them knowing what hit them."

"Possibly, or they could just see you as an idiotic easy target running right into their own death and pick you off quickly to get you out of the way."

"True. It really is difficult to know what to do isn't it?"

"That's why the Capitol find it entertaining. Because they want to see the strategies forming, and then laugh as they fall apart."

"Is it really just entertainment to them?"

"Well what else would it be?"

"I dunno, it just seems wrong that there are innocent children dying and all they can do is laugh about it or place bets on their favorites and then forget all about the dead by the time the next year rolls around and then it all begins again."

"It is wrong. There's nothing even remotely right about those Games, even the name makes me sick because it's how they see it. It's just a big game to them. They can't even begin to imagine the effect it has on the Districts because they're so wrapped up in their own pointless existences that they're incapable of normal human emotions."

Johanna was never sure how to react when Jason began talking about the Capitol. She agreed with everything he said and anything he thought but she couldn't, if she encouraged him God only knows what kind of stupid plans would start forming in his head. It was far safer just to stop him, even if it was technically her that started it. "Wow I see why dad lets you sleep in most mornings. Someone gets cranky when they're sleepy."

"I'm not sleepy. I'm just pretty sure I'm gonna have some impressive bruises from where you landed on me this morning," Jason replied giving her one of his signature smirks. She slapped him in the stomach hard as she could, which recently had actually started to hurt Jason.

"Ok so spears and then home?" she asked, they had simply accepted between the two of them that Johanna would slap Jason if she didn't approve of his comments, the conversation that followed had been repeated far too often over the years.

"Actually I'm more in an axe mood, you can go work with the spears if you want?" Jason asked, just really in the mood to hack something. Satisfying though hearing the thud of spear on tree was nothing quite managed his anger like carving something up like there was no tomorrow.

"I reckon a bit of axe work couldn't hurt," she chirped and headed off in the direction of the tree stump and their bags. He was glad she some how always did the right thing for him, even though half the time she seemed to be in her own little world. The bags weren't too far from the lake going the direct path.

"Ok," Johanna said, pulling a medium sized axe from the bag. The axes were the most professional looking tools the pair had. The knives were good, but they were still kitchen knives and weren't what would be found in the arena and the spears were simply larger branches that Jason had spent hours sharpening to a point. The axes were another story though, the way the sharp metal edge curved just the right amount to be planted perfectly into a tree, the way her hand just seemed the perfect size for gripping the handle. It felt like it belonged with her for some reason, almost like an extension of her own arm.

"So what do you want to practice?" Jason asked while picking out the largest axe they'd managed to collect like it weighed nothing.

"What is there to do with axes?" Johanna asked suddenly realizing she knew very little about the weapon.

"To be honest, just hacking. You can throw them if you really want but they're harder to aim than knives and spears," Jason responded, seeming a little confused by the question.

"Ok then, let's get hacking," it was weird sometimes what she could say in her cheerful tone without it sounding overly insane. Johanna headed over and swung the axe professionally into the tree trunk, the blade made it a fair way through the trunk.

"Not bad Princess but we're running out of time so get it out and give it a couple more goes and then I'll need to go catch breakfast," Jason said before heading off in the direction of a couple of other trees. Johanna then proceeded to trying to remove the axe from the trunk, a more difficult task than she had anticipated. She managed to have a grand total of three swings of the axe before getting it well and truly stuck in the tree.

"Give it here," Jason sighed, nudging her out of the way slightly and removing the axe in a matter of seconds. He placed it back in the bag and turned back to her, surveying her for a moment. "I reckon you're ready for a hunt," he summarized his thoughts in one sentence.

"What? Today of all days?"

"What better day, I mean the odds are in our favor after all," he winked for effect, knowing that the odds were hardly ever in their favor.

"Fine, but if we're late back and I can't get the muck off of me before Reaping I will be holding you personally responsible," she huffed, although she was beaming from ear to ear at the thought of finally getting to go hunting with Jason.

"Sounds like a deal. Now take of your shoes and follow me quietly. Take the knives with you and you can make the kill," as Jason spoke the word he saw the flash of fear in her eyes. "Hey come on, you can do it. You've trained for it remember, plus we need to eat before I turn into Mr. Grumpy again."

Johanna picked up the knives and weighed them in her hands for a moment, debating how useful they'd be. "I think I'll take the axe," she stated, Jason looked at her quizzically, confused by this decision. It wasn't that she wasn't good with the axe, just that she was a lot better with the knives.

"Whatever makes you happy," he retorted, he picked up his own axe and then began walking off into the forest. It didn't take them long to stumble across a fairly small rabbit. Jason stepped slightly aside and signaled to Johanna that this was the target. She took a moment to watch it, the way it nibbled carelessly on one of the small patches of grass in the forest, occasionally hopping over to a greener patch for a better tasting breakfast. She pitied it, knowing its life would end soon, either at her hand or Jason's. She slowly raised the axe over her shoulder and focused on her breathing; in, out, in out, then brought her arm forward quickly and released the axe, watching it as it sliced through the air and then straight down the center of the rabbit.

She watched in silence for a moment, as the blood spread over the grass, the red and green creating a nasty contrast. "Not bad, not bad," Jason remarked, he had to admit he was impressed. She'd been quiet enough to get to the rabbit then actually managed to go through with the hunt.

"Thanks," Johanna replied, her voice had never sounded so small; she had never felt so small.

"Hey you had to do it at some point right? It's better doing it now ok. I'm really proud of you," Jason murmured reassuringly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her while she silently mourned the rabbit. She never cried she just concentrated on how she could feel Jason's chest move in and out as he shushed her calmly, on how gentle his hand felt as it made it's way through her hair, on how safe she felt in the embrace. "Come on, we'll need to head back," Jason eventually pointed out, Johanna pulled herself away from him, realizing that there was a very good chance her mind could no longer be her safe place.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Johanna stood in the fifteen year olds section, her mind not really focusing on anything around her. For some reason she couldn't stop noticing anytime there was a flash of red or green (which was not helped by the fact the escort from the capitol had decided to pair his green hair with a bright red suit). It was like the colors were symbolizing the death she had been responsible for. It was just a rabbit; if she hadn't killed it Jason would of. So why did she feel so guilty?

She began feeling a little bit faint, she hadn't been able to eat the rabbit and so her stomach was growling loudly throughout the introductory speech. Each year she grew less and less tolerant of their glorifying innocent children's deaths. Instead she focused on her training, thought of how they had decided, as a malfunctioning family, that tonight they would stay together to celebrate the fact Jason would no longer be eligible for Reaping and was safe for life. Well assuming he made it through the next 10 minutes. So that meant she'd simply have to get him up super early tomorrow morning again to make up for lost time. She felt like she had to keep herself busy, had to keep herself distracted.

The short film began playing on the large screens, explaining how it was their fault that the Capitol had all the power, the ability to do as they pleased and they had to suffer the consequences. She wondered how people in the Capitol had first reacted to the Games, if they'd always been so excited by children's death as they were today. Maybe they did just see it as a way to punish the rebels; she was willing to bet a fair few of them would have lost their children at the hands of the rebels.

But did that give them the right to punish them? Years later when people could barely remember anything of the rebellion except what they were taught in schools as children. The stories turning into a long game of Chinese whispers with the rebels sounding more and more like the good guys each time. How did this make for a functioning society?

Jason looked over at Johanna; she was not looking her usual self at all. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to introduce her to killing today, but he worried. He worried that she really was just that unlucky as to have her name pulled out of the giant bowls twice. It had definitely been for the best. What wasn't helping was that stupid video praising killing as she stood there looking like she was going to fall over like a tree any second.

"I just love it don't you?" the escort questioned. Clearly the reaction he wanted was not the one he received. One year he would learn to stop trying to make people excited about the possibility of their child's death. One day Jason might get the honor of proving to him why dying was nothing to be celebrating about.

The crowd stood motionless, fully aware of what was about to happen; chance would sentence one girl and one boy to death.

"Now let us begin by finding out who our lovely lady is this year!" Jason would kill him. Would kill him because it wasn't some lovely lady it was some unfortunate girl, some poor daughter, leaving behind some grieving family and heart broken friends. Was there any point in getting close to anyone anymore if there was every chance they would be ripped from you? He debated this thought for a moment. Would he have decided not to be close to Sophia if he's known she was going to die? Of course everyone was going to die it was just a question of when, but the fact the Capitol had so much control over death itself seemed sinful.

The mans hand ruffled through the slips of paper, he dug right down to the bottom of the bowl this year for dramatic effect before settling on the piece of paper that was ultimately a death sentence. He slowly and teasingly unfolded the piece of paper.

Johanna looked around her, at the sea of faces. One of those faces wouldn't be here next year; one of them would be lost forever for the Capitol's entertainment. Would she be blonde, brunette a red head? Have blue eyes, brown eyes or green? Would she have siblings? Would there be someone to look after her family? Would she be young? Would she even stand a chance in the arena?

"Johanna Mason," her name rang out through the square before she closed her eyes greeted the darkness and tried to brace herself for hitting the ground.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello dedicated readers :) Glad that you are all still into the story enough to have gotten to chapter fifteen :D However I am unfortunately going on holiday for two weeks very soon so until then I will try my best to upload a chapter a day and a few extra ones before I leave so that you have some extras to read while I'm gone (as there is no hope of me getting internet access or even time at a computer while I'm away…. Literally heading to the middle of nowhere for a walking trip). Also please keep reviewing as it really means a lot to me to hear what you like/ don't like about the story or my writing or anything really! Anyways back to the tale of Johanna :)**

Chapter Fifteen

Jason sat there, stroking Johanna's hair praying for her to wake up before they ran out of time. He should be happy, he was free, he was safe from the Capitols clutches for life, well safe from the Games for life anyway; the Capitol would never loosen its grip over its citizens. But instead he felt sick, felt broken and lost all over again. Slowly Johanna's eyes started fluttering as she moaned and stretched out. She was lying along the comfiest couch she'd ever been on in what she could only assume was the Justice Building. Her head was resting carefully on Jason's lap.

"Did it work?" she muttered. Jason stopped stroking her hair momentarily, shocked that she had actually woken up.

"Did what work Princess?" he whispered, scared that the Peacekeepers would over hear them. Scared that if they knew she'd woken up they'd take her away and maybe he'd never see her again.

"Do they think I'm weak?" she whispered back. Every muscle in Jason tensed and he got up off the couch, letting her head fall onto the cushions. "J, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Well let's think here shall we? I've been sitting here freaking out that I might not get to say goodbye to you. To tell you not to join with the Careers. To tell you to try your best to get sponsors. To be strong. And you've been lying there pretending to be unconscious so that everyone thinks your some pathetic little girl who's going to die!"

"J you knew that if I got reaped I'd do this!"

"Oh yeah cause this is the face of someone who knew what was going on!"

"J just shut up already! You don't know that it won't work!"

"Yes I do! Do you know of any of the weak kids who've survived longer than a day in the games? No! That's because everyone thinks their easy targets so picks them off in the bloodbath. Plus even if you run away from the bloodbath you won't have any sponsors because everyone will think you're too weak to be worth sponsoring!"

"Or I could go into the bloodbath and grab some weapons and pick them off while they're all distracted by the other weak kids!"

"And what if they start with you? What's your master plan then?"

"They wouldn't! They'll assume I'm not going to get far anyway so why start with me when they can deal with the more troublesome kids first then pick off the weak?"

"Johanna that's not how it works!"

"Really and who made you the master of the games?"

"You did! When you started asking me ridiculous questions and expecting me to have the answer! Look I don't care if you never listen to me again but listen to me now Johanna. If you do this, you will die. And I don't know what I'd do if that happened, I don't know." It was only then he let himself start to cry. Not hysterically like he wanted to. Just a few tears, letting her see that he did care; that he really did need her.

"Then why are you yelling at me?" she asked, suddenly realizing this really could be the last time she ever saw him. Ever looked at his too long hair that flicked out just a little at the sides. Looked into those golden eyes that reminded her of the sunshine at the lake. He walked towards her slowly.

"Because what I really want to do is this," he whispered, holding her face in his hands he pressed his lips to hers. Gently at first, simply checking she wouldn't pull away; wasn't still so mad at him that he repulsed her.

But she wasn't. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself closer into him, knowing the moment she let go could be the moment she lost him forever. She let the heat from his body warm her, let it fill her with hope; let it fill her with determination to come home. Her hands wove through his hair as he wrapped his arms around her, making her feel like nothing mattered but the two of them. It didn't matter that she was about to enter the arena where she'd need to kill innocent children to survive; it didn't matter that he would have to watch as the eyes of the men in the Capitol undressed her mentally to decide if she was a worthy investment; all that mattered was that they had each other and not even the Capitol could ruin the memories they had, the feelings they shared.

Jason eventually ended the kiss but kept his forehead pressed against hers; taking a moment to enjoy the fact she was smiling as subtly as she could. When she looked up at him he whispered, "Now promise me that won't be the last time we do that." He looked into her eyes, wondering why it had taken the possibility of her dying for him to be able to show her how he felt.

"I promise," she said lightly, knowing that to keep the promise, she'd have to do everything he just told her not to.


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note: Hello again :) I do hope you are enjoying things, although there won't be too much of Jason for a while which makes me sad because I like writing from his perspective :( However now onto the exciting part! Johanna Mason in the 68****th**** Hunger Games… let's see how she copes! Also a HUGE thanks to everyone reviewing and following once again (I know lately I have been thanking people for it a lot but it does encourage me to write a lot more so if you want more updates please review because it really does make me want to write more!)**

Chapter Sixteen

Johanna sat there; hugging the pillow to her chest, wishing with all her might it would turn into Jason. Not so much so they could repeat the incident at the Justice Building, just because no one made her feel safer than him. She almost wished for a moment he could come with her, but then he too would have to enter the arena and that would mean either death or life without Jason, two unthinkable things. She had briefly seen her "District partner". He was nothing much, he was thirteen at a push, although he looked a lot younger. He would be one of the lost tributes of seven. One of the poor kids who never stood a chance.

Why was she thinking about this? She knew the answer but it sounded awful. Because it was him or her. Because if she started to feel sorry for him, in the same way she needed the Capitol to feel sorry for her, then she would lose it. She would lose everything.

There was a light knock on the door before Blight appeared in the doorframe, clearly not waiting for her to declare it was safe for him to enter. "Can I help you?" she whispered, doing her best to keep looking at the green, shimmering bed sheets.

"Actually I came to ask you that exact question. How you feeling sweetheart?" Really? Sweetheart? She could just about tolerate "Princess" from Jason but that was because he'd started on her before she knew any better and she was now stuck with it. But sweetheart was another deck of cards.

"I'm ok I guess," she murmured, making sure her mouth was as close to the pillow as it could be without physically eating it.

"No really, I promise I won't tell anyone," he smiled, hoping to connect with the girl. He wasn't an idiot; he knew exactly what happened to kids like her. Kids who seemed to be scared of their own shadows. He knew he had to tell her to run to the Cornucopia and hope the Careers just got it over with. Not that he could tell her that, she probably knew what was going to happen to her just as well as anyone else who'd been watching the Reaping's did.

Johanna looked up at him, her blue eyes watering slightly, enough to make her look like she was trying to be strong but was failing and letting her emotions get the best of her. Little did Blight know it was the fact that she hadn't blinked since he entered the room that was causing the watery effect. "I'm scared," she allowed her voice to break just a little bit. She might be over-doing it but it was far better to over-do it than under-do it.

"Aww sweetheart don't worry. We'll get you some sponsors and we'll make a plan ok? It's all going to be fine," Johanna had to take a deep breath to stop herself from yelling at him to stop calling her "Sweetheart". Unfortunately when she breathed in she did it a little too sharply and ended up choking on the air. Blight was instantly at her side, wrapping his arm around her. It was nice, reassuring, but nothing like the way Jason's arms made her feel. Where Jason's arms made her feel safe, Blight's made her feel broken, like she needed to be fixed.

"I just, I can't do it. I know I can't," she muttered after a few minutes, deciding the silence wasn't helping anything.

"Can't do what?" she knew he meant it nicely but she could hear the distance in his voice. Could tell he had asked this question year after year after year and the answer would rarely change. Good, that's what she needed. She needed to seem like just another girl being sent to her death and knowing it. She couldn't seem like Sophia, couldn't be strong.

"I can't kill people. I can't kill children," she said to his chest, which he was now pressing her into.

"I know you feel like that now but it changes when you're there. Just remember it's them or you. There's no other way and it's awful but it's not your fault. You just have to do your best."

"And if my best isn't good enough I die?"

"Unfortunately yeah. But your best will be good enough Johanna. You have strengths, you just might not know about them yet because you've never used them but you'll find them and it's all going to be fine," Johanna wondered if he gave the speech every year. Speech was a bit of a stretch; ramble was probably a more accurate term. "Come on let's go get you some dinner. You'll feel better. Bastards though the Capitol people are they sure know how to eat," he smiled at her, his smile was warm. She could see how he'd managed to charm people into sponsoring him.

"Thanks but I'd rather just spend some time alone. I just need to think. But I'll try and make it out for the Reaping re-cap and grab some food then," she said, she did want to be alone, however she was beginning to feel hungry. She hadn't eaten since the night before and her stomach, though it had stopped growling, was in desperate need of some attention.

"Ok. I'll come get you when they start," Blight took his arm away, leaving Johanna feeling slightly colder. As he left she snuggled into the blankets of the bed. They were so thick; they would have kept her warm on even the coldest winter nights, when the wind managed to slither its way through the cracks in our lodge.

She stared at the ceiling, wishing she'd been able to see her father before she left, but Jason had said he'd stormed off as soon as she got reaped and he would find him as soon as he could. So here she was. How was she meant to feel? Scared? Because she wasn't, she was almost excited. A weird mixture of nervousness and confusion bonding together to create excitement inside her. That was just what she needed. She curled up into a ball and let her eyes close for just a moment, but she ended up sleeping deeply and happily so that when Blight came to wake her for the re-cap and found her to be impossible to awaken, he simply left a plate of food on her dressing table with a note saying:

"Don't worry, this years lot seem pretty dull. Just give them something to remember and you'll be fine."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Johanna moaned and rolled over eyeing up the numbers on the clock before deciding it was unlikely that anyone else would be up this time after midnight. She shuffled out of bed, realizing she was still wearing her dress, wearing being the technical term for it. It had crumpled up and one of the sleeves had slipped to hang off her shoulder. She quickly slipped it off and pulled on some baggy looking trousers and a tank top that hugged her torso. As she opened the door she peered around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. At the lack of sound or obvious movement she headed down the corridor and into the living carriage.

She put the volume down on the screen and then watched the re-cap of the Reapings. They would be on an endless repeat until they had something more exciting to say about the Games. She didn't know what Blight had been talking about when he'd said she shouldn't worry about this years bunch but she couldn't help but wonder about them.

The kids from District One were threats as always, the girl in particular. She was tall and looked like she'd developed a fair bit of muscles, and on the close up of her she had fiery green eyes and sharp cheekbones, everything about her told Johanna to watch her. The tributes from District two were both larger than those from District One. They looked like they could crush Johanna with their bare hands, that wouldn't be a problem though, she could tell by their awkward movements that they wouldn't be able to catch her. District Three were older, maybe 17 and 18, meaning they'd know more, making them more likely to do things like electrify the water supplies. District Four were both volunteers, both 17, both looked charming enough to get a good amount of sponsors and with Finnick mentoring them this year the sponsors would definitely be headed in their direction. District Five had two kids about ages with Johanna, but a lot taller and seemingly graceful, probably meaning they were fast. But if District Five were anything to go by they would probably avoid the Cornucopia but things could change this year; if they thought they were fast enough to think they could get in and out then they might risk it. District Six didn't look anything overly special but she refused to underestimate them. Then came the part she really wanted to see.

She leaned forward on the chair to get closer to the screen. She watched as the escort called her name, as she fell to the ground, as Jason ran past the Peacekeepers to hold her, watched as he checked she was breathing, that she still had a pulse and then life her up towards the stage and into the Justice Building.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure what to make of the performance from our young Johanna Mason there but I'm sure it can't be a good sign," Caesar Flickerman commentated regretfully. He didn't think she'd put up much of a show and wouldn't be very entertaining for the audience.

"I don't know. I think it would be foolish to underestimate her at this point. It could have been anything that caused the fainting, heat, lack of food, even illness. A few days in the Capitol to fix her up and she could prove a worthy contender. We won't know until the training scores," Johanna sighed. She'd been good, but not good enough. They still had hope for her; she needed to eradicate that.

"An excellent point there Negate! Plus District Seven is not unknown to have a few victors up its sleeve! Anyway onto our next tribute!" Johanna didn't pay much attention to the following tributes. She was planning her next move.

The next time she would be on display would be the tribute parade. She had noticed a few kids had fallen off the chariots in the past but she didn't want to make it too obvious. Plus she didn't want to ruin any chance of sponsors; she would still probably need them eventually. She couldn't have people thinking she just got lucky when she survived the bloodbath; she needed them to believe she had some potential to win.

What would she do in the training, survival skills would probably be a good things to focus on, she didn't really know much about surviving anywhere except in the forests around District Seven. However it wouldn't make the other tributes doubt her. Sure they could eye her up while she did it but it wouldn't necessarily make them think she was weak. She needed to do something to show them she was nothing they needed to worry about.

"Couldn't sleep?" Johanna jumped slightly as the voice broke her concentration. Blight stood behind her, expensive looking glass in hand.

"Actually I think I slept too much too soon," she replied. "I thought you said they were dull. They seem pretty scary to me."

"Where are you now?" he asked sitting next to her on the couch, leaning towards the screen with her.

"District nine," she whispered. As Blight breathed out she could smell the alcohol on his breath. He seemed sober enough; she imagined that after being a victor for as long as he had he'd be able to handle his drink better than the average citizen from home.

"Ah it get's pretty boring after there. You little misses have created quite a stir though," he whispered. "But shhhhhh can't have everyone knowing about out little star now can we?"

"What do you mean?" Johanna asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. She had fainted; she hadn't done anything exciting. She'd been weak like she planned. What the heck was he rambling about?

"Well, now all of the Capitol is gossiping about whether or not you're as weak as you seemed. You're the one they're all asking about, all whispering about. I couldn't of done it better myself! Now tell me, what's your plan now sweetheart?"

Crap. If he was right, if she was the one they were all waiting for. If she was the one they were all watching she was going to have to be extra careful not to slip up.

"I… I don't have one," Johanna muttered.

"Well then we'll just have to make one for you!" Blight seemed all too excited about the prospect of a kid who might actually have some master plan. Which she did, but she wasn't about to tell him that. He clearly couldn't be trusted to hold his tongue if he'd been drinking and she could tell he drank a lot.

"Blight I appreciate what you're saying, really I do, but I just, I can't do anything."

"Nonsense! Everyone can do something. What do you do at home?"

"I like walking in the forest…"

"Excellent! And what do you do in the forest?"

"I collect flowers," it wasn't a complete lie. Johanna really had used to wander through the forest and collect the ones she thought might make her father smile. Blight's smile faltered a bit at this thought.

"Do you know a lot about the flowers?"

"I know some things. I know which ones don't hurt if you pick them. I know the ones that my dad will yell at me for bringing them into the house," she hated seeing Blights face as it was. Like he knew he was sending another child to their death.

"Brilliant! In that case in training you'll work with knives!" Johanna could feel her eyes widen at the man. What the hell had brought him to that conclusion! She'd just told him she was good with flowers…. FLOWERS! In what world did "I like pretty flowers" translate to "I want to kill people with knives"?

"I don't think I can…"

"Look Johanna you don't have a choice. You're either going to have to learn to use a weapon or accept the fact you're probably going to die in that arena."

**Authors Note: Hello again there readers :) Hope you are still enjoying the tale :) Thank you also to everyone reviewing! And please keep reading and reviewing it's always good to get the opinion of other people and it really does help me a lot! Next chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow :)**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

The flashing lights of cameras warmly welcomed Johanna as she stepped off the train in the Capitol. She could hear her name being chorused by journalists and photographers all hoping to get a shot of the dead kids walking. She kept her head down, partially to make their task more difficult but also because the bright colors she managed to get a glimpse of between the flashes were making her head hurt. She kept her gaze on Blights boots in front of her; she respected the fact that even though he was expected to play along with the Capitols madness he stuck to his own way of life.

Finally upon reaching a building that would've towered over every tree in District Seven they were safe from the ravenous eyes of the Capitol. Johanna let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding before heading into the elevator.

"Now we're heading to your apartment it will be far more glamorous than anything you're used to. Oh you are getting quite the treat here let me tell you!" the escort, Addie Johanna believed his name was, rambled on about how exciting everything was. She began to understand why Jason had so little tolerance for them. When they finally arrived at their floor Blight offered to show her to her room. Figuring it would take her twice the time to find it herself she agreed and followed behind him once again.

"This is it. Don't take too long getting ready now or what's-his-face will finish all the food without you," Blight smirked at her before heading off, Johanna assumed he was heading to the bar again. She sighed and entered her room.

It was magnificent. The screen on the wall had been set up to look like it looked out onto the forests of District Seven already. The room was a mixture of shades of green making her feel instantly more at ease. There was even a subtle smell of pine. She kicked off her shoes and allowed her toes to curl into the deep soft carpet, making every step comfortable. She couldn't help but miss the cold hard floors of home though, at least that was a stable in her life, and this carpet would last only a few days.

She walked along the width of the room, debating if she could get any training done here. She could probably get some running training done but not enough. She could easily do strength training, Jason had taught her how to do press ups and other exercises to keep her muscles working. Wandering around the room she checked for any squeaking in the floor, she wasn't surprised when she found none. Before heading back out for dinner she slipped into a different pair of trousers that were clinging to her skin and settled on a baggy shirt that fell off one shoulder, it made her look a lot skinnier than she was.

Heading out to join them for dinner she noticed Blight hadn't been joking when he said the boy from home would eat all the food. He was literally inhaling the food; anything that was put in front of him was gone in seconds flat, much to Addie's distaste. Johanna walked towards them, keeping her eyes down and slumped into the chair she assumed was assigned for her. She silently ate the soup not removing her eyes from the spoon as Addie continued to mindlessly babble about the other tributes and how impressive the tributes from the career districts were this year.

Dinner was a fairly long experience. No one spoke but Addie except when Orson, her district partner, asked for more food. It wasn't really awkward, no one had anything to say, but it was hardly pleasant either.

"So when is the parade?" Orson eventually asked, through a mouthful of chicken. Interrupting Addie as he told them all about his favorite victors, leaving Blight and Holt out of his stories.

"Tomorrow. We have to wait until the tributes from eleven and twelve arrive and it takes them an extra day to get here," Holt replied. He was growing older and his voice had a permanent tone of sadness to it. Johanna looked up and found him staring at her she quickly relocated her attention back to her spoon.

"I don't see why, no ones really going to be paying attention to them," Addie complained. Just when Johanna thought he couldn't get any stupider he said something like that.

"It's polite Addie. They need to give the kids a chance," Blight informed him, Johanna could sense the tension in his voice. Clearly Addie didn't.

"But they do the same thing ever year! Plus that Haymitch character is hardly the most charming man to be around," he whined.

"Says you," Johanna muttered before she could stop herself. She received three subtle smiles and a shocked face from Addie.

"Well young lady I can tell you the rest of Panem might not remember you but I do! And I cannot wait to see how you cope in that arena!" he stormed off, rather over-dramatically but then again, that was how the Capitol people did everything. She was seriously going to have to learn to bite her tongue if she was going to keep up this whole defenseless little girl act.

"I think I'm going to head to bed. Long day tomorrow and all," she mumbled and practically ran to her room. Frick, she thought as she sunk back against the closed door. She put her head in her hands and exhaled. Maybe Jason was right, maybe she should just show them what she could do and run from the careers. It could work, Jason seemed to think she could do it and he was rarely wrong about these things. Of course the last time he'd been wrong it had been Sophia's Games they'd been watching.

"Johanna," Blight whispered, pushing open the door causing Johanna to be thrown forward and into a heap on the floor. "Aww crap sorry, I thought you'd be in bed."

"No no it's fine. I mean I just love being thrown onto the floor by a door," Johanna mumbled.

"You'd be kind of funny if you weren't so quiet. So what's up?"

_You mean besides the bruise that I can feel forming on my forehead? Oh not much really you know, just getting ready to fight to the death in an arena with 23 other kids as you do. How's your life treating you? Any new spirits I can try before I risk my life for the Capitols amusement? _She thought before eventually settling on "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Because you're here. And something's always wrong if you're here. Well unless you're a Career but then there's way more wrong with you than can ever be explained," Blight replied, helping her up and over to the bed. "So come on what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Johanna sighed, more because she wanted him to think that she was finally opening up to him than because she was restraining herself from slapping him in the face. "I guess I should just appreciate this like Addie says. I'll probably never get to see any of it again anyway."

"You can do something!" Blight practically yelled at her. Johanna just looked at him with confusion written all over her face. Of course she could do something but first she had to get these stupid ideas out of his head.

"No. Blight I…"

"You said, "Probably never get to see any of it again". Probably!" he jumped up and left the room leaving Johanna in a state of confusion unlike any she'd ever been in before. Blight was truly a mad man but if he knew what she was up to he was a dangerous mad man and she would have to stop him sooner rather than later.

**Author's Note: Hello there people :) I realize that it doesn't seem like too much is happening at the moment but it should all become important eventually :) Also I don't want to make things too exciting just before I leave so there will be a bit of build up before Johanna's Games :) Also thank you sooooo much for reviews again! Especially Anla'shok who's been amazing for her reviews since chapter one! Anyways hope you enjoy what's to come :D**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"Rise and shine beautiful!" the high pitch voice broke through the peaceful silence of the room. Suddenly she was being dragged out of bed and stripped, was this how Capitol people greeted each other? She hoped not, she couldn't deal with this sudden exposure in her own bedroom never mind if it was necessary outside. Johanna silently accepted what was going on, knowing that if she was to yell what was actually going through her head her plan would be ruined. They muttered among themselves excitedly about the potential they could have for the interviews, not that she knew what kind of potential they were on about.

"Prima will love this one! Sweetheart you have such beautiful eyes I'm practically green with envy!" one of the group screeched. Johanna tried her best not to snigger as the woman was literally green, head to toe.

"Thank you," Johanna replied, not that any of them were listening. They were playing with her hair talking about curling it and pinning it up in strange ways. There was three of them, all appeared to have a slightly green tint to them. She wondered for a moment if it was meant to tie in with the tree costume she assumed she would be wearing later that night. Not that the stylists never did anything different, just a tree was a common idea.

The room was filled with giggling and screeching and twirling until another woman walked in. She was tall and thin and Johanna realized that there was a good chance that if she turned on her side if she would disappear. She instantly had the respect of the other three stylists who stood up a little straighter upon her entrance.

"Well, what have we here?" the woman spoke like she had been presented with

some hideous desert she had no desire to eat. Johanna refrained from answering by literally biting her tongue; she bit to hard and her mouth was soon filled with the warm salty taste of her own blood.

"She's quite an impressive one this year don't you think Miss. Prima?" one of them answered enthusiastically. Johanna couldn't help but get the feeling that they'd rather she wasn't here while they dressed her. She fidgeted with her hands, keeping her gaze firmly on the ground while the head stylist eyed her up like a piece of meat. She circled the tiny child, eyeing her up and down taking in every curve and imperfection she had.

"Look up at me dear girl," she demanded. Johanna did as instructed and looked into the woman's purple eyes. They revealed nothing about her; they were dark in the places a light would usually shine. Johanna kept her eyes open as the woman scrutinized every angle of her face. "Yes, she is quite a pretty one isn't she," the woman deduced. "The contrast between her dark hair and pale skin is interesting enough but then we have these eyes. These eyes that could melt the hearts of all of Panem. Yes I must plan at once!" she declared before storming out of the room, seemingly not caring what the prep team had to say.

"I think she likes you," one of the girls nudged Johanna and winked at her.

"Really? I didn't do anything though," Johanna whispered.

"You didn't have to! My dear you are simply fabulous! Well not right now but the potential is there! Once we have you done up not even your own mother will recognize the beauty she has created!" Johanna looked at the woman who had spoken, trying for the first time not to seem upset and vulnerable. "Come on now quickly! To the studio!"

Johanna quickly grabbed onto a dressing gown before they dragged her from the room. She covered herself as they led her from the elevator down a twisting corridor and into a bright room divided into sections. She was led past the other tributes, trying desperately to catch glances of them as she did, before being set down onto a bed and instructed to remove the robe again.

"Just lie back sweetie this won't hurt a bit," one of them instructed pouring some hot liquid onto Johanna's legs. Johanna did as she was told but as the woman ripped off what felt like the first layer of Johanna's skin she let out a whimper.

"There, there dear the first one's always the worst," another one was at her side in a second, patting her hand and trying to soothe her. Johanna wished she had been right for with every strip of wax came more pain. It was a sharp pain that was over quickly but it hurt none-the-less.

Jason wandered through the empty kitchen, filling himself a glass of water. He sighed and settled on the couch, ready to watch the tribute parade. He didn't know what would happen to Johanna but one thing was sure, she would be a tree. Not even anything pretty like a willow or a banyan but always what seemed to be a pine. Of course the people of the Capitol probably hadn't seen any other type but still it was unimaginative and just plain boring. The stylists from Districts one and two had fun each year, creating something new and exciting to put their name on but most of the others had no such creativity.

One of the good things about the Games was that you weren't expected to work nearly as much, what with all the mandatory viewings. Jason had only worked 6 hours today and would be able to feed himself easily with what he'd made.

"And here they are arriving now! My my my would you look at the sparkles on District One tributes. My heart is all a flutter!" Caesar Flickerman could easily say the same thing every year and it wouldn't make a difference to how the tributes were accepted into the Capitol, it all came down to a persons personal perceptions.

Any second now the District Seven tributes would make an appearance, Jason sat up a little more as the tributes from six past and they zoomed in on Seven. Well he'd been right about one thing, they were definitely trees, but slightly different from the others. Johanna's skin had been darkened, making the blue of her eyes stand out twice as much as usual, not that it was possible to miss them usually. She had been fitted into a tight matching tan dress that left very little of her to the imagination as it clung tightly to the small areas of skin it covered. She had a garland of autumn colored leaves twirling around her body, hugging close to her so it looked like they had grown out of her. The vine continued up into her hair, the way the gold contrasted with her dark hair made it impossible not to notice her. Then her face had been painted with blur flowers that swirled around her eyes, making sure you couldn't remove your gaze from them. Jason had to admit he was impressed with the stylists work; they had done well.

"Well would you look at the pair from Seven aren't they just the picture of foresty goodness! Oh I could just put them in my garden and watch them grow!" Caesar chuckled to himself. Jason had to like him, he was impossible not to like. He would never say a bad word about the tributes; he'd even try and make the kids from 12 sound impressive, which was challenge in itself. Jason relaxed; Johanna had made a good impression, cancelling out her stupid plan of seeming weak. Maybe she had finally come around to the idea she could win this, without having to trick the people of the Capitol.

How was this happening? How was it possible the one year they decided to make the District Seven tributes look interesting was the year she needed to blend into the background? Johanna gripped tightly onto the side of the carriage, listening to the crowd roaring in appreciation at their costumes. She needed to do something, anything to stop them thinking she was interesting and exciting. She needed them to see her as someone that would fade into just another long list of dead tributes.

She smiled at the crowd, not letting go of the sides of the chariot, the road was hardly stable and the horses were travelling at a speed that made her wish she could've left her stomach behind. The road was an unforgiving one, with twists and turns clearly more designed so that the Capitol could get a good look at the tributes rather than for the tributes comfort. She debated if she could fall off the carriage. It would definitely make her seem weak but it would make her seem too weak, she needed to blend in not stand out. Simply be present but not obviously over or under achieve. Damn this whole thing was more complicated than she thought it was going to be.

Orson next to her was waving like a crazy person, he had good balance she gave him that much. Flowers began showering down around them, catching on her hair and the leaves that decorated her body adding to the beautiful effect Prima had created for them.

God dammit why was the Capitol so distracting. Everything about it made Johanna loose her concentration, made it impossible to think straight. So she thought of Jason. Of how he would be watching her right now. How it was the first time he'd see her since their embrace in the Justice Building. She smiled a little. In spite of the situation she was glad she had Jason, glad she had something so worth fighting for. She thought about how his eyes were so golden, not like the fake eyes they had here in the Capitol that made them look dead but the bright sparkles that made her feel like they were the very reason she was meant to be alive.

They stopped suddenly and Johanna hit her abdomen off the front of the carriage, knocking the breath straight out of her. She looked up to the magnificent building; it had a patterned wall that must of taken years to decorate. The swirls intertwining to make the building seem like the grandest in all of time.

"Welcome to the 68th Annual hunger Games!" the booming voice of President Snow echoed throughout the Capitol. As always the response was one of cheers and excitement. "What a fine group of tributes we have this year. I feel it will indeed be a very happy hunger games. We thank you tributes for your courage and for your sacrifice and as always, may the odds be ever in your favor!"

The crowd erupted with cheers as Johanna stood there, lost in her own mind as if she was in the forest. She thought of Jason's golden eyes one last time and hoped with all her might that the odds would truly be in her favor.

**Author's Note: Hello all :D Hope you are all still enjoying reading as much as I am enjoying writing :) I figured that it would be far more fun for me to make the odds be in Johanna's favor as it means she actually has to work to blend into the background more than if they had just been dressed in the same tree costume every year (plus I kinda found the thought of designing a costume to make District Seven seem interesting a fun idea). If you can please please please review as it does mean a lot to me (plus it's an awesome confidence booster to know you're taking the time to tell me what you're thinking) :) until the next chapter adios :) **


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Welcome to the training center. Here you will be trained how to survive the Games. Now I realize a lot of you will already think you know where your strengths are but let me stress that trying new things can reveal hidden talents in an individual that may give you an edge in these games. Also do not forget about the survival stations. I'm sure you can all remember last year when Haidar from District Eight dehydrated and died. Do not let that happen to you. Be prepared for as much as you can be and it will put the odds more in your favor than you can imagine. You may work in groups; it is entirely up to you. Most alliances will be formed through your work here bare that in mind also, it is not encouraged but we cannot stop it from happening. Chose a station and get to work. The instructors are there to help you as much as they can. You may begin," as the woman finished talking the Careers practically ran for the weapons stations. Naturally they didn't need to worry about starvation or dehydration like the rest of us did, they had their pick from the Cornucopia and then enough sponsors to support them the rest of the way through the games.

Johanna watched as the rest of the tributes headed off in different directions. Some towards the assault course others in the direction of the edible food stations. She chose to give first aid a try. The man there seemed surprised by her presence and quickly prepared himself.

She spent most of the morning there, learning that when she was bleeding it was important to clean the wound before putting pressure on it, how if she was throwing up she needed to drink more than she would normally to replace the fluids, that if she suddenly felt really warm in the middle of the night she should try and warm up as it was probably a thing called hypothermia. She learned how to inject herself with needles (as a lot of the medication that was sent in desperate situations would probably work best and faster intravenously or intramuscularly). She learned how to make bandages from things around her, how to make crutches, how to support broken bones effectively. She also learned what to do with someone if she found them unconscious but she doubted she needed that, if she found someone unconscious she'd probably just leave them.

"Well I think that's about everything I can teach you for now," he eventually said through a layer of bandages. Johanna was genuinely saddened as she walked away to find another station to amuse herself with. She watched as Orson tried to cross some monkey bars, he was awkward about it but he did make it to the other side. She felt like she should point out it would be easier and faster to pull yourself up through the first bar and then run along the rest but she kept that information to herself.

Heading towards the edible plant station she felt someone following her, she turned around and was surprised to find the girl from 8 only a few steps behind her. "Mind if I join you?" she asked cheerily. Johanna was taken a back for a moment, this girl was strong and clever, Johanna had seen her display as much already. Why would she want to tag along with some girl half her height that probably couldn't defend herself? Johanna nodded as they continued on their way. "My names Cathella Banks what's yours?"

"Johanna Mason," she replied as quietly as she could without the girl not hearing her. Great. Now she had a name for the body. Why was she still here? It meant Johanna still had some potential in the others eyes and it was not going to help her whole weak and helpless act if the others noticed that she supposedly had some kind of skill that would attract allies.

"That's a nice name, normal enough sounding unlike most of that lot," she indicated towards the careers, who were now violently throwing anything and everything they could get their hands on.

"Yeah, I wonder why such weird names have stuck around for so long," Johanna wondered aloud, not really meaning to carry on conversation with the girl.

"I reckon it's just that their parents can't be bothered thinking too much. Let's face it they're hardly known for their brains right?" Cathella joked. Johanna gave her a slight smile, thinking how it was a shame that they could have been friends if it weren't for the circumstances. The pair made their way easily through the edible plant station, between them knowing enough about different environments to tell which ones should be avoided, with Johanna knowing the ones that were bad to eat and Cathella knowing the ones bad to touch their shared knowledge even impressed the instructor.

"I'm going to go have a try at knife throwing, you want to try?" Cathella asked Johanna after leaving the edible plants instructor beaming with pride. Cathella liked the girl; she hadn't wanted to, she just knew Woof had told her to find out more about her, which was tricky. She had to stick to her own training plans too, she wasn't giving up on them but she did see what Woof meant when he said to watch out for her. She was clever, and clever was more worrying that strength in these games.

"No thanks, I'm going to try camouflage. Thanks though," Johanna replied, she had to do things she hadn't done before, like the head trainer had said. She had spent years throwing knives and spears and axes but had never once tried to disappear into the background. Plus it could help her in her games strategy. It just so happened that the things she had never done before also helped in her plan of not showing off her skills.

"You still got your parade costume lying around? Reckon that'd come in handy," Cathella laughed as she walked away. Johanna couldn't help but laugh along with her. She hated the fact she trusted her, wanted for her to like her. It just made the thought that she had to die that much harder.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

"The entire place has gone bazerk! They're searching the Careers apartments just now!" Holt sounded ecstatic by the idea. It didn't overly bother Johanna, mainly because she knew exactly what was going on.

"But how did they manage it? Everything in the place is under close watch at all times! I mean even in our games that was the rule!" Blight was almost jumping up and down with excitement. She supposed they didn't really get much opportunity to be excited what with sending kids off to their deaths every year and all that.

"I do not see why you two are so happy about this! It's an outrage! A complete disgrace!" Johanna couldn't help but smile as Addie stormed around the room getting more and more agitated by the second.

"Are you crazy? Someone managed to get a knife from right under their noses! It's genius! My money's on whichever tribute it was that managed it," Blight stated in a very proud voice. Johanna took a moment to remember that, feeling it would be useful blackmail soon enough.

"If genius is the new word for idiocy then yes it is sheer genius!" Addie was something else. Johanna could never quite get used to his crazy ways. If he thought for a second it had been Johanna who'd taken it he would absolutely hit the roof. Amusing though the thought was Johanna decided it was best to keep that bit of information to herself.

It hadn't been overly difficult to get the knife. She'd simply waited until she knew there was going to be a distraction, like the Careers moving station. Got up and wandered in the opposite direction to them. As she'd predicted the blonde girl from one, Silk or something ridiculous like that, had pushed her to the side so she hit the table displaying the knives straight on. When they walked away laughing she'd smuggled one of the smaller ones into her chest pocket smiling slightly to herself.

"Oh Addie do cheer up! It just means we have a clever one somewhere in the games this year, it will make it far more interesting don't you think?" Holt could not have been happier if Johanna told him the Games had been cancelled due to this little incident.

"Not in the slightest! I hope whoever took it gets exactly what's coming to them!" Addie yelled as he stormed from the room. It was funny how most of their interactions seemed to end in this way.

"Either of you two know who did it?" Blight turned on Johanna and Orson looking at them hopefully, praying that he'd managed to get a kid with some brains. Both of them shook their heads. "As soon as we find out, make it your goal to become allies with them. I doubt it's any of the careers; they all seem as thick as two short planks this year."

"Who else would it be though?" Orson asked. "I mean I only saw one other girl besides them at the knife throwing station," Johanna tensed at this moment. Suddenly her plan was coming together, they didn't think she was capable of such a thing.

"Do you know who the girl was?"

"I dunno ask her. The two of them were at the edible plants station for ages," Johanna could have punched him. She could of easily taken him out of the games right then and there but that would ruin everything.

"You formed an alliance with her yet?" Blair looked at her, eyes wide with delight.

"I wasn't planning on. I don't wanna hold anyone else back…"

"Nonsense! If she spent that amount of time with you at something as useless as edible plants then she obviously wants an alliance! Who is she again?"

"Cathella Banks. Woofs tribute," Blight looked like he was going to do a somersault in the air.

"I'll set up the alliance for you! My god you kids are genius's!" Blight skipped off towards the elevator, Holt in his tracks. Leaving Johanna and Orson alone awkwardly until he eventually muttered something about bed and Johanna agreed.

She sat up for a while, twirling the knife in her right hand, debating how much of a noise it would make if she targeted the wall. She gave up on that idea realizing the marks it would leave would be too obvious. Instead she started some cardio training, doing high knees for as long as she could manage and then stretching down before starting on squats and lunges. After a while she decided she'd done enough and headed for a shower. She still had no idea how the stupid things worked so she pressed the first three buttons and hoped for the best. It was decent, the water was a bit too weak and she left smelling far too girly for her liking but she was satisfied. Walking back through to her room she accidentally whacked her arm off the wardrobe. Then it hit her.

Running over to the nightstand she grabbed the small knife and opened the wardrobe door marking a small "X" on it. She took ten large steps back and set about her practice. She had been getting a little rusty; it was just as well she'd managed to take the weapon.

Eventually, deciding her skill was once again up to scratch she shut over the door hid the knife in a pillowslip and curled up in bed. Moments later her state of calm was interrupted.

"So Woofs girl knows about as much as you do on the whole knife front," Blight exclaimed, throwing himself down next to her in the bed. Great. He was never going to give up on the idea that she had to know everything that was going on around her. Also he stank of alcohol more than he usually did. A lot more.

"Oh that's a shame," Johanna murmured, debating if she could roll over and avoid the conversation. She doubted it.

"It is isn't it? Weird how the only people who were at the knife station don't have the missing knife. I wonder who could've possibly had the brains to take it. It's hardly like the Capitol makes it easy for you lot, you're not even allowed sharp knives at dinner let alone be allowed to take weapons away with you to possibly slit each others throat in your sleep! However, assuming it wasn't the Careers I reckon whoever has that knife has a fair shot in the games. Don't you Princess?" Something inside Johanna tightened; she couldn't place where she just knew something wasn't right, that she needed to hear Jason right now. Needed to see her father. Needed to be anywhere but here. Then she was crying. "Wow, hey it's ok, geez the bedroom is the one place I don't have to deal with crying girls." Johanna wanted to slap him, wanted to tell him to stop being such a drunken idiot but she couldn't because he was there and he was the best chance she had at getting sponsors and she knew it.

"I just. I want to go home," it was the first fully truthful thing she'd told him since she'd met him. There was nothing she wanted more right now than to go home and hear Jason's idiotic comments about everything, listen to her dad as he moaned about the two of them doing nothing all day and expecting him to do all the work. Wanted to smell the forest again and not just some stupid thing the Capitol had made to make her feel more at home. She wanted to feel the forest floor again, to be able to run through it and never stop.

"I know you do, I know and you will. We already have a lot of sponsors for you and so long as we make a plan you'll be fine ok?" he whispered, it was basically identical to what he'd said on the train but Johanna believed him now for some reason. Believed he was trying his best to get people to help her. Johanna nodded and hugged herself into him tighter.

She wasn't sure when but she fell asleep against the drunken idiot as he'd mumbled about all the different people who had sponsored her already, already thinking she'd be a good investment for the future.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

As she sat tying and untying complicated looking knots Johanna could sense the eyes of the Careers watching her. They had been watching her all morning it was the most unnerving thing imaginable. She knew to throw them off her scent she had to make mistakes every now and again but she was enjoying learning from the instructors. She had always loved to learn; it was one of the reasons she clung so tightly to Jason, because he loved to teach, so the two had worked well together. However the idea of learning and knowing something just to have to screw it up was making her more and more agitated.

"Almost got it that time Johanna, maybe just one more time and you'll get it," the instructor sighed as she untied the rope for the fourth time. Why hadn't they stopped watching yet? She knew exactly how to do this, it was a fairly simple process once she got her head around it and she wanted to get it just once before she left the station, just to make the instructor smile. She gave up; she simply tied the "six-turn San Diego jam" much to the pleasure of the instructor, stood up and headed over to the fire starting station. She had managed to make it around most of the stations she wanted to do already; first aid, edible plants, edible insects, camouflage, hammock making, shelters and knots, leaving her with just the fire making and fishing still to get round to. This was their last morning of training before they had to show off their skills to the game makers, she needed to decide what to do. She couldn't get a high training score, not with the Careers looking at her like they were considering her a potential useful source. Of course they were probably only thinking that because she had spent her time at all the stations they had avoided.

"Boo!" Cathella yelled as she dropped down from the ceiling right in front of Johanna. Johanna let out a slight scream and then joined in with the laughing girl. "Man you're face was hilarious! You look like you just saw a ghost!"

"Can you blame me? You came from the ceiling," Johanna replied.

"Cathella! The course doesn't go over there! You're running over time here!" the instructor from the rope course yelled across the arena at her. Looking up Johanna noticed the girl had decided to run across the narrow pole running just under the roof solely to scare her.

"I'm flattered you've come so far out of your way to see me," Johanna smirked at the girl.

"Oh please you wish. I just wanted to see your scared face," Cathella winked as she ran back to the start of the rope course, much to the instructor's irritation. People seemed to wink a lot in the Capitol Johanna noted. Johanna was smiling as she arrived at the fire starting station. It seemed like a logical enough process: get a fire starter, build a platform, make sure the wood is dry enough and boom you've got fire. Problem was fire was easy to track, it was a technique that had been used by the Careers for years now and one they would hardly pass up on using this year. Still it was good to know.

Lunch was fairly early that day, rather than the usual four hour morning they had only had two hours of training leaving the Careers with extra energy to be as irritating as they liked. They sat together, all the tributes from 1, 2 and 4, laughing loudly about some of the greatest kills of the hunger games. Johanna wasn't overly surprised when Silk mentioned she'd enjoyed the black widows technique – sleeping with male tributes she considered to be a threat and then killing them before they had a chance to recover.

"Shesh, you'd think they lived for this kind of thing or something," Cathella stated, plonking herself down next to Johanna. The girls had become close; it was obvious they were now expected to form an alliance in the games.

"Is that why they're called Careers then?" Johanna asked her, wondering why she'd never thought about it before.

"I reckon so. Well look at them, it's not like they can do anything else really is it?" Johanna looked at them; sure they could of done other things if they really wanted but they'd never of been satisfied with their lives if they hadn't been a part of the games.

"I guess not. I kinda feel sorry for them in a way. Not knowing what it's like not to live a life destined to murder."

"Don't. First chance they get they'll be ripping your throat out and making you eat that pity," Johanna liked the bluntness of Cathella, the way she wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind. It reminded her a lot of Jason. But a lot of Cathella's being reminded her of Jason. Her blonde hair that had traces of a light brown running through it, the way she held herself like she knew she could take on the Capitol but most of all it was her eyes. They weren't golden like Jason's they were a sort of hazel color but something about the spark in them made her think of him.

"So what you doing for the Game makers then?" Johanna asked, not entirely sure what she would do herself.

"I'm thinking knives, I mean I'm hardly the best knife thrower the games have ever seen but I figure if I do that and one of their crazy intelligence tests I should have their attention," Cathella explained during a mouthful of food. "What about you?"

"Not sure, was thinking about starting a fire, maybe some first aid. Just prove that if I do get hurt then I still have a chance of surviving," Johanna mumbled, she continued picking the bread apart with her hands. She felt better with Cathella than with anyone else in the Capitol, it didn't mean she was about to give away her game plan.

"Starting a fire's a bad move. It just shows you know how to attract the Careers to come kill you after the bloodbath. I'd say something like camouflage and edible plants, that way you're showing that the Careers won't be able to find you and that you can survive on your own long enough for them to take out most of the rest of the competition," Johanna hated that she was helping her. Hated that she was so much like Jason with her knowledge of how the games worked. She wished Cathella could have been her mentor instead of Blight. Blight who spent most of his time trying to unveil some hidden talent he didn't know she had.

"District One Male: Veyron Matti. Please enter the training center," the voice came across the tannoy system and Veyron was given a few pats on the back for luck from the other Careers and even a kiss on the cheek from Silk. The group moved quickly after that, clearly the game makers had better things to do than watch a bunch of kids desperately try to impress them in the hope it would allow them to live just a few extra days.

"District Seven Female: Johanna Mason. Please enter the training center," Johanna inhaled deeply.

"Knock them dead kid, actually if you could do that it'd be really handy for me," Cathella encouraged Johanna as she walked out the door and towards the people who were essentially going to decide if she would live or die.

Johanna went over and began making a fire, she made it as big as she possibly could given the resources available, knowing that they would be thinking exactly what Cathella had said. That this would make her an easy target, that there was no way the Careers would be able to avoid something this big. Johanna watched the flames dancing turning the wood beneath them into dark powdered dust, that only encouraged the flames further. Encouraged them to continue their path of destruction. It was only then Johanna realized she was standing staring at the fire and none of the game makers were even paying attention anymore.

She walked towards the elevator, accidentally bumping into the knife table as she did so. The loud bang and clatter as the knives fell to the floor regained their attention, if only for a few of them to chuckle at her hopelessness. Excellent, it was just what she needed. She hurriedly picked up the knives and threw them back on the table. Well, except for the one she'd managed to slip up her sleeve.

"Johanna! Where is that blasted child?" Addie huffed around yelling for her to come. The training scores would be on soon and he did not want to miss the start of it because the stupid girl had gone wandering off somewhere.

"I'm coming," Johanna mumbled, emerging from her room. Blight and Holt had been all happy again at the news of yet another knife going missing from training. They reckoned it wasn't the same person as before, just some one else trying to get noticed. It made sense; it was too bad they weren't right.

"There she is!" Blight called excitedly, patting the sofa spot next to him. Johanna slumped next to him, knowing his good mood would be short lived.

Orson was already sitting next to Holt, the pair talking deeply about the strategy he was forming. Orson had decided he didn't want to form an alliance, just in case they ended up having to kill each other in the end. It was an unlikely outcome but it worked for Johanna's own plan.

"So are you going to tell me how things went yet?" Blight asked, for once there wasn't even a trace of alcohol on his breath. Johanna shook her head and brought her knees up to her chest. "Ah that's ok, keep it all for a big surprise!" Blight responded, ruffling her hair. Oh you have no idea Johanna thought. It was strange how Blight seemed to torment Johanna like he'd known her for years. She doubted it made it easier when it came round to saying goodbye, most likely forever.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen of Panem! I'm sure you're all just as excited as I am to hear how our tributes got on with their training! Now as you all know by this point, each tribute is given a score from 1 to 12 with 12 being the highest and 1 being the lowest. It all depends on how much of an impression they've made on our game-makers who have been watching them closely the past three days of their training. And here tonight we have a very special guest Opia Beaut who is one of the game makers this year and may give us a little extra information about what to be expecting from each of the tributes!"

The scores began then, the Career scores ranging from 8 to 10 as expected, the kids from three both getting 6's (an unusually high score from there), the boy from 5 scoring a 7 and the girl scoring a 5, the pair from 6 also getting a 5.

"Now onto our District Seven pair. District Seven hasn't had a victor in over 10 years now, so could this be the year everything changes?" Caesar's voice had a tone of excitement to it. "Our female tribute, Johanna Mason, with a score of…" all of them leaned forward in their chairs, waiting for the make or break moment that would follow "…4".


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

"What the hell did you do in there?" Blight screamed at her when they were in the privacy of her own room. He'd remained fairly calm until that point, making it through the rest of the training scores, only gripping the glass a little too tightly when even the girl from 12 had managed to get a 4 in the training scores. But now he could let his full anger out. "Did you even do anything! Anything at all? Did it ever cross your pretty little mind that any chance we had for getting more sponsors is gone?"

"I just meant to…"

"No! No because if you'd meant what you did in there then you would've at least done better than the kids from twelve! Have you seen them? They're hopeless! They won't last a minute! You at least stand a chance why won't you help yourself?"

"I'm trying to…"

"Really! Oh well I guess since you're trying so hard that I'll just have to tell all the other kids not to kill you first!"

"Why is that going to make a difference? I'm going to die in there anyways why not just get it out of the way!"

"Because that's not how this works! Do you even realize what I've been through trying to help you and you go and do this! What even is this?"

"For God sake Blight just shut up!"

"No! Because the sooner you get it through your head that if you don't start impressing those idiots with money out there soon then you're going to die the better!" he slammed the door after his dramatic speech. Johanna smiled, she couldn't help it, and she'd finally got him to quit. She'd gotten him to believe that she really didn't stand a chance in that arena. She got him to believe the only shot she had was if he managed to scrape together enough sponsors to send her another person to win the games for her and then take themselves out.

"Hello angel! It's time to make you beautiful again!" once again the high-pitched voices of the prep team awoke her from her peaceful sleep. She hadn't really been dreaming much lately, and when she had she'd always been home, running through the forest.

Prima stood with them this time, not sure what to do with the girl now. She had given her so much opportunity, so many chances with her opening ceremony outfit and now it was all gone. There was no chance that her interview would make up for all that was lost in one of the lowest training scores. However, that didn't mean she wasn't a fabulous specimen to dress. She left the room, her mind spilling over with ideas.

"Do I have to?" Johanna mumbled, shoving her face back into her pillow.

"But of course! Don't let a bad training score get you down. There's still lots of potential to get sponsors tonight!" one of them yelled, pulling her out of bed and throwing her into the shower. They hit the settings that caused water to blast off the first layer of Johanna's skin and leave her red raw. They then set about waxing her again (even though her hair hadn't grown back since the last time), drying her hair and setting it in long curls that fell gracefully down her back, they snipped a part so it covered her forehead and swept over to one side. They then carried on, covering her face in lotions and creams until they deemed her "acceptable" for Prima and called her back into the room. Prima reappeared with a dark black bag, which Johanna seriously hoped was her dress or Prima had a body in there. Unzipping the bag she was awestruck.

The dress was a deep blue, floor length gown that Johanna could tell would highlight her curves just from looking at it. It flared out slightly out at the bottom and the lower half had a slit up the side that would reveal a little more of her thigh than she was comfortable with but she was in no position to argue with Prima, her nails reminded her a lot of a cats.

"Oh my! Prima you have out done yourself!"

"Prima how do you do it!"

"You truly are a master Prima!" and other compliments flew towards the woman. She didn't even bat an eyelash at them, just watched the girl as she stroked the expensive fabric of the dress, eyes wide in amazement.

"Thank you," she eventually whispered.

"You're welcome. Now lets get you dressed, you must be getting cold," Prima once again disappeared and left the prep team hurried around Johanna, preparing her for the final stage of the pre-games experiences.

Blight spent the rest of the day trying to teach her how to present herself to the Capitol. So far her only success had been the opening ceremony and she hadn't had to talk for that part, Blight began seeing just how much of an advantage that had been. The most he could get out of her was that her life had been tragic and at best he could get sympathy sponsors.

"Look Johanna, do you have anything at all you can tell them tonight that is going to blow that 4 out of the water," Johanna wanted to tell him, wanted for about the fiftieth time to tell him it had all been a trick, just to get him to stop looking at her with those eyes that made her feel horrendously guilty. Johanna simply looked away and that was an answer enough. "Look Johanna, you're a good kid. Heck no one around here could say a bad word about you and your moments when you're funny are pretty good too. But you need to be able to show that in three minutes, you need to get people to want you to live. Prove to them why you deserve life more than anyone else here and you'll be fine."

"But why do I? I mean I don't think I deserve to die but that doesn't mean that I deserve to live more than everyone else here."

"Johanna you deserve to live for the same reason everyone else does. Because you have potential to do good in the world, to make a difference. To play the game of life and win and then rub it in the Capitols face."

"Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the lovely Johanna Mason!" Caesars voice echoed through the stadium. There was a round of polite claps as Johanna made her way to the stage where Caesar took her hand and led her to a large comfortable chair in the center of the stage. His hair was crimson this year, great. "So Johanna how have you been enjoying your Capitol experience so far?"

"It's been very nice. Everyone's so lovely and kind here, it makes me sad to think I have to say goodbye soon," Johanna looked up to the crowd then so that they would catch a glimpse of the tears slowly forming in her eyes. They let out a slight "Aww" in sympathy.

"Oh well aren't you just the sweetest thing! So everyone had been treating our darling to the highest standards then."

"Well I wouldn't know if they weren't I mean I'm so distracted by all the bright lights and colors here. It's nothing like home at all."

"Well what is home like?"

"It's all forest. And I mean my room is as much like home as it can be. They were very thoughtful and even put some pine needles in my room to make it smell of home which made me smile."

"Oh well who wouldn't want to do anything to see that dazzling little smile of yours, can you show us just once more?" Caesar requested, looking at her with a face she couldn't say no to. She gave him the best smile she could manage; it worked. The audience cheered in appreciation and jealousy, wishing their smiles were as warm as the girls. "Oh now who couldn't love a face like that?" Caesars question was met with yet more cheers of approval. "Now tell us dear, what's your plan one you get into the arena?"

"You mean besides stay alive?" the audience roared with laughter, Johanna suddenly relaxed, her act would be fairly easy to keep up. "Well I guess I've spent a lot of time learning how to survive without any help because I wasn't planning on getting many sponsors so I figured if I can survive for long enough for people to get to love me then it'll all be ok." She could practically hear the audience eating up the crap. Their minds were far too easily influenced but it would work in her favor for sure.

"Aww Johanna I'm sure you'll have plenty of sponsors. You look simply stunning tonight and I personally already feel very attached to you am I alone?" the crowd whooped and cheered with Caesar. He really was a master of words. Managing to make even the weakest tributes seem like they had a chance. Of course Johanna did have a chance. She had more than a chance, if people were willing to sponsor her when they thought she was going to die, wait until they saw her when she was killing off their precious Careers.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

"Hey sweetheart can I come in?" Blight peered around the door and looked at the girl lying on the bedroom floor staring at her ceiling. She was trying to imagine the stars were there, so she could see her mother and Sophia staring down at her. She moved her head so she was looking at him and nodded. He quietly entered the room and lay on the floor next to her. "You know I hear beds are pretty good for lying on as well."

"Yeah but for some reason I feel better here," she admitted. Figuring since it was potentially the last time she'd ever see him she could be honest with him now.

"How come?" he asked, wondering what was really going on in the girls' head. Sure she was scared, he'd be worried if she wasn't, but there was something else going on behind those eyes. Some spark that was just waiting to light.

"I used to like lying outside and watch the stars."

"Just by yourself?"

"No, my uh, friend would watch them with me."

"So, what's an "uh friend" then?" Blight grinned cheekily at her, already knowing the answer.

"Just a friend," Johanna corrected him, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. She'd thought about him a lot since arriving in the Capitol. Nothing really in particular just him in general.

"Really? Come on who am I going to tell? Holt?" Blight laughed a little to himself. Holt was a fantastic human being, but he was starting to get old and probably wouldn't remember much soon. It was sad, Blight remembered when Holt had been his mentor how he'd been full of fire and determined to keep him alive. It had made Blight the way he was with his kids, so determined not to just roll over and accept the fact they would die. Everyone had a chance; you just had to let them try.

"Alright, maybe more I don't know," Johanna's eyes returned to the ceiling. She didn't know how she was going to greet Jason when she returned home. If she returned home.

"Well what makes it complicated?" Blight questioned. Johanna simply looked at him with a face that had you-can't-seriously-be-asking-that written all over it. "Ah, I guess the games still have that effect then."

"Pretty much," Johanna confirmed. "So they had that effect on you too then?"

"Pretty much. Although I had more than an "uh friend" waiting for me," Blight admitted.

"Aww and here I was thinking you were just a grumpy old victor," Johanna sighed at the ceiling again.

"Old? I'm not that old. I'm only what, 14 years older than you."

"Yeah…only," Johanna rolled her eyes at the previous victor.

"You know you're lucky I'm not allowed to hit you yet. Just wait to you're out of the games then you'll be sorry for that comment."

"And what you going to do old man?"

"Well I'll start by telling the prep team to cut off that pretty hair of yours. See how you like life without having it to hide behind."

"You wouldn't," Johanna replied threateningly.

"Are you willing to risk it?"

"If it means I get to call you old, it's definitely worth the risk."

"See this is the Johanna I like."

"Who's this other Johanna you speak of?"

"The scared pathetic little girl who wouldn't make it past the bloodbath. Who get's sympathy sponsors from the Capitol because she has no real strengths. But I like the real Johanna."

"How do you know the other Johanna's not the real one?"

"Because there's no audience here. No one to try and lie to. Just us. So you don't need to do the whole pathetic act with me. So what can you do?"

"I told you I can't do anything."

"Lies!" Blight yelled jumping to his feet. Even if Johanna had called him old he was definitely growing old gracefully. "Come and get me!"

"What?" Johanna propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look at the idiot, jumping around the floor like he was a professional boxer or something.

"You heard me come and get me! Kid on I'm some big mean Career who's coming to kill you. How you going to stop me?"

"Calling you old and making you go cry yourself to sleep in your mid-life crisis."

"You are a bitch aren't you? And it's because you're cocky, because you know you can do something otherwise the other Johanna wouldn't be an act. She would be you and you would be trying to act like yourself. I see through you Johanna, don't think you're getting away that easily."

"Why are you so sure I can't just be scared? Can't just be clueless and planning on stumbling into the Cornucopia to my death? Why do I have to have a plan?"

"Because your eyes say you do. You're a fighter Johanna because you have something worth living for, something worth going home for. And I don't know what that is but if it gets you through the games don't you forget it. Use it when you feel weak, when you feel like you can't fight any more. Remember that someone is waiting for you and you need to get back to them. Then there's no way you won't win because you'll have one thing better than the Careers."

When Prima picked up Johanna the next morning she made a quick detour to Blights room. He was passed out as she had expected, she'd heard him and Haymitch stumble around drunkenly only an hour ago. She slipped into the room and placed a pillowcase on the bedside table making sure the contents didn't make too much of a thud as they contacted with the wooden surface. She tiptoed away wishing she could see the look on Blight's face as he opened it and found the two knives inside and read the note:

"_You were right. See you soon."_

**Author's Note: So since we are finally about to enter the arena can I once again encourage you all to review. It genuinely makes me want to write more. Also (since working out there is a way to see how many people are viewing the story) if you've only just started reading and have made it this far please let me know what has made you want to keep reading, what make you want to know the story of Johanna's hunger games and her life afterwards? Also once again massive thanks to everyone who's already reviewing and subscribing and favoriting and all the rest of it you guys rock and I hope you enjoyed the latest installment :D I shall probably focus on my other hunger games fanfic "Dancing With Shadows" for a while but I hope there is enough here to keep those of you have subscribed amused :)**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

Johanna ran her hand over the lump in her arm; it wasn't sore, just unfamiliar. She exhaled and began pacing the room. She'd been kitted out in a pair of long white trousers and a tight fitted, long sleeved white top and thick boots and socks to match. The boots were light but the material was far thicker than anything she had worn before.

"My darling, you look fabulous!" Prima exclaimed. Johanna was glad the woman had been allowed to come with her. Even though she wasn't her favorite person in the world she was far better than Addie would be in this situation. "White really brings out your eyes. I'll remember that for your victory tour."

"You really think I can do it?" the girl looked to her with eyes that made Prima melt a little inside. The girl was beautiful there was no doubt about it. Why such pretty things had to be wasted on such fowl entertainment she'd never know.

"I do. Anyone can do it; it's a natural instinct when it comes down to it. And you're clearly clever. More clever than those brutes who run around all over the place killing for the fun of it. You just need to use that brain of yours and I'll see you in a week or two tops," Prima watched the girls face soften from one of disbelief to one of appreciation. She did so hope she'd come back. She'd watched many children enter the arena over the years, had always tried to detach herself from the situation but something about this one just drew her in.

"Thank you," Johanna whispered, knowing the woman had meant what she'd said.

"So what's your token then?" Prima asked, desperately trying to change the subject from what would inevitably happen any minute now. She would be called into the tube and Prima would be left to watch as she was killed or chose to kill.

"I, umm, I don't have one," Johanna admitted. With everything that had happened at the reaping and then being here she'd had no time to even think about such a thing.

"Why on earth not?" Prima was dumbfounded; the girl must have people she cared about at home, people who cared about her. Surely one of them should of given her something!

"I just, didn't think to take one."

"Why this simply won't do, here take this," Prima removed one of the many bracelets from her wrist and handed it to the girl. It was a brown, hardened material that Blight had brought her one-year. She only wore it as he'd insisted he had to pay her back for her efforts somehow and she was thankful he had now. She had no use for it but the girl would.

"Are you sure? You've already done so much for me," as Johanna took the bracelet she noticed the slight golden shine of a tree that had been painted on the material.

"Oh darling quite sure. It simply doesn't match my outfit, you're doing me a favor," Prima slid the bracelet onto the girls wrist and helped her tighten it so it fitted properly. Johanna admired how the deep brown looked against her own pale skin.

"Thank you. I realize I've said that a lot to you lately but I do mean it."

"I never doubted you did dear."

"One minute to launch," the emotionless voice of the Capitol woman broke through the moment the two were sharing. Prima sighed.

"Come on, best get you in there. Now just remember what Blight told you. He may be a drunken idiot but he is clever and he knows how these things work. And please just, make sure you come back," the woman decided to stop herself before she began crying, the last thing the girl would want to do right now would be to deal with her petty problems.

"I will," Johanna smiled at her. She was grateful for all she'd done for her. She'd achieved what no other District 7 stylist could of achieved, getting the people of the Capitol to remember her. It was the last thing she said to the woman before she began moving up the tube and out into the arena.

**Author's Note: Ok guys so you know what I'm going to say… it starts with R and ends with view… yup REVIEW! (assuming rview isn't a real thing) but yeah it seriously makes me want to upload more for you guys and getting you're feedback really means so much to me :) also on a side-note I have been listening to Rita Ora's R.I.P. a lot recently and can't help thinking about how it reminds me of Johanna in the Games. Thoughts? Also if you haven't listened to it then you should, it's not for everyone but I kinda love it :)**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

60

The cold hit Johanna before her eyes could fully take in the scene before her.

59

The sun was reflecting off the white snowy layer on the ground.

58

It didn't seem too thick which was good; she could still sprint on the snow.

57

It was the ice that would be a problem.

56

If the snow had compressed into ice then there was no chance of a sprint to the Cornucopia and out again in one piece.

55

She had to risk it though.

54

Whatever was in those backpacks would literally be the difference between life and death this year.

53

She knelt down into position, left leg behind right and then rested her head on her knee, exhaling quickly.

52

They'd think she was breaking down it was the advantage she needed.

51

District One couldn't run on snow, they were from a desert area.

50

District Two would be more of a problem: half the District was snow-covered.

49

The rest of them wouldn't be a problem.

48

Cathella was looking at her.

47

Johanna snuck her a smile and the other girl nodded.

46

Looking back to the Cornucopia.

45

The smaller packs on the outside would maybe hold some food for a night.

44

The bigger ones would have enough to live for a week.

43

The outskirts were pine forests.

42

They wouldn't be easy to hide in; the trees were too far apart.

41

She would have to get in and get out.

40

Crap where to go afterwards.

39

Anyway she ran was bound to lead to something.

38

It was what exactly it would lead to that made her stomach turn.

37

The Careers were leaning forward, eyeing up the weapons.

36

There was a bow, some arrows…

35

Some swords and spears deep in the cornucopia.

34

Was that an…

33

Johanna squinted to get a better look at the object reflecting light into her eyes.

32

It was an axe!

31

It was too far in though.

30

There was no way she could reach it.

29

But she couldn't just leave it there.

28

It was her best shot at winning.

27

Frick why was it so impossible to make up her mind.

26

If she went too far in she'd be picked off as a weakling by the Careers, just like Jason had said.

25

But if she left it, she left her best shot at winning behind.

24

No she had to focus on other things.

23

Why couldn't she focus on anything else?

22

She had to get it, didn't she?

21

Ok focus on the backpacks, they have everything you need.

20

Except for defense.

19

Were there ever weapons in the backpacks?

18

Why had everything useful suddenly left her head?

17

She glanced behind her, a hill.

16

Ok so she'd grab the backpacks and then head there.

15

But then the axe…

14

She had to take it.

13

She couldn't just leave it there in the Careers hands.

12

It would be a crime.

11

Better her than them.

10

Aww crap where did the minute go?

9

Ok just grab a backpack and the axe.

8

The axe is next to a fairly large pack anyway.

7

Surely that was a sign?

6

She didn't have time for this.

5

Ok, axe and pack.

4

She put her weight back onto her left leg.

3

She let her breath out, watching the white puff as it floated up past her face.

2

She got ready to run.

1

Then everything exploded.

**Author's Note: Yes… I am just this cruel. However there won't be too long until the next chapter hopefully. Also once again guys thanks for all the subscribing and favouriting and reviews :D But also please continue reviewing! :)**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Johanna leapt forward, ignoring the explosion that had just taken place only a few meters away from her. She headed straight for the heart of the cornucopia, towards her axe. She jumped over pack after pack not slowing her pace. The snow slowing her only slightly. The snow had only formed a thin layer on the ground so she was still able to get a good push off of it every time her feet hit the floor. She kept her gaze firmly fixed on the axe, not letting her attention differ to the progress of the other tributes. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears. She was overly aware of every muscle in her body, how it moved. Her breathing was heavy trying to keep every muscle supplied with the oxygen she needed.

She scooped up the pack and threw it over her shoulder and grabbed the axe in the space of seconds before turning to run and headed straight into the District One male tribute. Her axe landed a few feet away from her.

"Hey there beautiful," he mumbled while pinning her hands to ground with one of his own, his other snaking it's way towards her neck. She lifted her knee quickly into his stomach and as he loosened his grip slightly on her hands she hit the heel of her hand off his nose as hard as she could causing him to jerk back in pain. She took the moment of weakness and threw him off her, she leapt up and detoured to pick up the axe and ran straight into the trees. The pack was heavier than she'd anticipated. Once she felt a safe distance away she threw the bag onto the ground and sat on top of it, holding her head in her hands. That was too close.

"Not bad Mason," the all to familiar voice of Cathella made Johanna grab the axe in panic. "Hey, steady on, steady on. Alliance?"

Johanna pondered for a moment. She already knew she didn't really have a choice in the matter. "Of course," she threw the axe to the ground and went back to sitting on the pack. Cathella came over to join her, the two of them somehow managing to squeeze onto it to avoid the cold ground.

"You checked what's in it yet?" she eventually asked. Johanna shook her head and they both stood up and Johanna tore open the bag. There was a large puffy jacket, a sleeping bag, gloves, fire starting equipment, a small first aid bag, a water canister, filled with what would have been water at one point but it had since frozen and enough food to keep them both alive for 3 days. "Not bad, not bad," Cathella commented, tossing a bread roll from hand to hand.

"Not bad at all. Plus the axe and whatever you've got," Johanna noticed Cathella had managed to grab two of the smaller packs.

"For the guilty conscious I have it better be something good," she replied heading over to the first of hers.

"How do you mean?"

"The guy form three originally had this," she indicated to one of the bags. "But I whacked him in the face with it and then left him to the Careers," she seemed saddened by how she'd behaved. Like if she could, she'd go back and leave him with the pack. But Johanna knew that wasn't true, they had to die. It was the rules.

"Maybe he got away?" Johanna tried to reassure her the best she could. It was hard, given that she was hoping as many people as possible had been taken out by the bloodbath. Just meant less competition and less people she would have to take out later.

"Yeah, maybe," the girl seriously doubted that. "Anyway lets open this bad boy up!" Upon inspection the smaller bag also had a water canister, although this one was empty, an extra pair of socks, a medium length of rope and a few extra scraps of food. The other had exactly the same.

"Not a bad haul we've collected," Johanna noted. "Do you manage to get any weapons?"

"If you count these?" Cathella revealed two throwing knives. They really had done well. "They're pretty small, but they're definitely effective," the way she said it with just a little too much knowledge set Johanna on edge. "I had to pull them out of bodies, not throw them at anyone. Saving them for the Careers."

"So you've not…" Johanna couldn't bring herself to fully ask the girl if she'd killed anyone yet.

"No. Have you?"

"No. Guy from one had a fairly good go at me though. I managed to get away."

"Really? Couldn't tell. D'you manage to do any damage?"

"Maybe broke his nose."

"Nice one. Sponsors will love that."

"You?"

"Nah, just the kid from three. Was pretty plain sailing for me."

"Lucky. Do you know what that explosion was at the start? I've never seen that happen before."

"I think one of the kids dropped her token, she was playing with it and it was definitely her podium that went up in the blast anyway. At least she got out quick."

"Yeah I guess so. So how'd you find me?"

"Easy I got out before you and then watched to see which way you headed. Then it was just a case of finding your footsteps. We should probably get moving again soon, the Careers will be on the move soon."

"Yeah good point," Johanna slung her pack over her shoulders, placing it as comfortably as she could, and picked up the axe. Cathella had one pack over either shoulder, and a knife in each hand to match.

The pair set off in the snowy environment, trying to make a mental map of their surroundings. They were jogging as fast as they could, trying to cover their tracks, which was proving to take up half their time.

"There has to be a quicker way to do this," Cathella eventually grumbled, wiping the prints they had just left. "If we drag the packs behind us would they cover them?"

"Yeah, but it would leave another trail," Johanna mumbled trying to work out if anything they had collected would be useful. "Could we use leaves?"

"Nah they'd leave another trail again," Cathella whined, slumping down at the base of a tree. Unfortunately as her back hit the trunk, the vibrations caused the snow that had been peacefully resting on the upper branches to fall directly onto her head. "Aww crap!" she snapped, shaking her head so the snow flew every direction. Johanna couldn't help but laugh at her. "Oh God it's gone down my neck. Man that's cold! Johanna! Quit laughing and help!" of course, Cathella's need for assistance only made Johanna laugh further. Cathella mumbled something and then balled up the snow and threw it at her face, with a direct hit. Johanna stopped laughing momentarily and raised her eyebrows at the girl still on the ground.

"You really wanna do that?" Johanna dared.

"Bring it Mason," Cathella was on her feet, snowball ready in hand. Johanna kicked the snow up in her face and went to quickly make a snowball of her own. The pair continued playing in the snow for the next hour, for a while forgetting that soon at least one of them would be dead.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

"Are you almost done yet? I've been walking in circles for hours now," Johanna moaned, collapsing next to Cathella. The girl had claimed to have some genius idea about how to cover their tracks, however it involved her sitting doing something to some logs they'd found and Johanna wandering around in circles.

"Patience child. I'm nearly there now," Cathella said, stabbing at the wood. "Ok, cut up the rope so that you have two bits to wrap around each of your feet. And do the same for me. In fact, make the rope a bit thinner if you can as well," Cathella instructed. Johanna did as she was told, firstly slicing the rope at appropriate lengths and then tearing it down the middle so it was half the width it would have been otherwise.

"Now what?" she asked, holding the eight bits of rope in her hands.

"Now we attach these onto the bottom of our shoes!" Cathella exclaimed excitedly, holding up what appeared to be a couple of really thick planks of wood.

"Seriously? Now we're just gonna leave square footprints genius," Johanna huffed, pointing out the obvious flaw in the wooden shoes.

"Aww wrong way round. Tada!" Cathella exclaimed, spinning the wood around so Johanna could see the true genius of the idea.

"Are they-"

"Yup, deer tracks." Cathella had carved out the rough shape of deer hooves into the wood. It meant that when they walked it would simply look like deer tracks rather than actual footprints, hopefully not interesting the Careers.

"You utter genius!" Johanna held her pair, admiring them from multiple angles.

"I know. Right we need to walk about in them a bit first, just to get used to them."

"Plus the Careers will probably get confused if deer tracks just start appearing out of nowhere."

"Maybe they'd think they were killer deer, sent my the game-makers to eat their brains."

The girls set out on their wanders through the forest once again. This time accompanied by the wooden shoes. They didn't really talk, unless it became completely necessary, determined not to become too attached to one another. Already knowing it was too late.

It grew darker in the arena, although it was probably still reasonably light in the real world. More killing occurred at nighttime minus the initial bloodbath, so they tried to time the interesting parts of the games around when most people would be watching. It was then that they stumbled upon something rather beautiful.

"Wow," Johanna breathed. The pine trees gave way to look out over a beautiful frozen lake. It was dusted with a light layer of snow on top making it effortlessly elegant. Sunlight dancing as it reflected off the frozen surface. The area appeared to be untouched by man, or any other tributes in this case. In the center was a small patch of land with a single pine tree that was far fuller than the rest in the forest.

"Reckon we could make it over there?" Cathella wondered aloud.

"Depends how thick the ice is," Johanna commented. The pair headed over to what appeared to be the edge of the lake. Pausing to stare at it, take in any detail they had otherwise missed. "What do you think they've hidden under it?"

"Only one way to find out," Cathella commented wandering around nearer the edge of the forest before returning with a medium sized rock. She weighed it in her hand for a second, before throwing it straight at the ice with all her force. The ice formed a hole where the rock had passed through, the surrounding parts cracked slightly. Then, just as quickly as it had formed, the ice sealed over again.

"That could come in handy," Johanna muttered, unable to remove her eyes from the spot the rock had disappeared from. "You reckon we could convince the Careers to go skinny dipping?"

"Wishful thinking kid, come on lets set up camp somewhere, it'll get dark fast so the Careers can get hunting," Cathella motioned to the sky as she spoke before picking the packs back up and continuing around the tree line. "I reckon the further we go this way, the further from the cornucopia we get. So logically we should be more likely to see people if they appear."

"Makes sense," Johanna followed the older girl around the trees until they settled in a spot from which they could see nearly every place someone could emerge from. After slumping down Johanna began unpacking some food, laying out a few bread rolls and some dried ham. "To the odds being ever in our favor," she announced, before taking a bite out of a roll.

"And to a very happy hunger games," Cathella mocked the Capitol voice before joining the mini-feast. That was when the cannons started. The first one casting the arena into complete silence, even the wind seemed to be waiting for the news. "Only six? Man the Careers are really slacking off this year," Cathella moaned, only a hint of sarcasm evident though.

"It sounds awful but I'd hoped for more," Johanna admitted.

"I guess us outsiders always do. Less competition for sponsors and for any food that the Careers haven't already found. On the plus side, they have plenty of other tracks to follow before they get to ours."

"How do you reckon they'll be tracking people?"

"Probably just the footprints. They've probably only just left the Cornucopia; it's only been like 4 hours since the Games started. They'll track the ones who light fires first, which in this weather I'll bet will be a fair few. You're choices are light a fire and get killed by the Careers or don't light a fire and hope the hypothermia doesn't get you."

"Speaking of which, what are we doing in terms of cold? I was thinking as soon as we finish this we get into the sleeping bag. It's easier to stay warm than it is to get warm so even though it'll be a little hot now, it'll be nice and cozy later."

"I like your thinking Mason. What're we gonna do with the bags though? They're hardly the most conspicuous of things." The girls stared at the bright blue bags, they couldn't afford to dump them somewhere else; if they lost those supplies they'd be doomed for sure. But keeping them here could potentially lure in trouble.

"We cover them in our clothes."

"What?"

"In first aid, the guy said sharing body heat works better if you're naked. I dunno about you but I am not letting the Capitol see quite that much of me, but if we cover the bags in our tops and trousers then they'll blend right in with the snow."

"That has to be the worst chat up line in history."

"Would you just shut up and get naked already?"

"Well aren't you just the charmer."

"Oh please, like you're any better."

"I will have you know if I were to woo a lady I would go about it properly. Get her some dinner, have a nice meal with some candle light you know, top quality stuff."

"Look, I gave you a roll at sunset and a sleeping bag. Given the circumstances I'd say I make a pretty epic date."

"See that is a total lost cause line right there."

"There is just no pleasing some people," Johanna eventually muttered, heading over to throw her top over one of the smaller bags. She fished the sleeping bag and the large jacket out of the bigger bag, silently thanking the lord that the sleeping bag was white, before zipping the jacket around the larger bag. "If we get too cold, we'll probably both get in the jacket."

"Thank God they make these things for the tanks that come out of 2!" Cathella praised, removing her trousers before climbing into the sleeping bag. "Toss us the bags over, they'd make good pillows I'd reckon."

"I like the way you think Banks," Johanna imitated Cathella's voice perfectly, earning herself a snide look from her friend. She tossed over both the smaller rucksacks and dragged the larger one over for good measure.

"Are you nearly done honey?" Cathella asked sarcastically. "The bag just feels so empty without you."

"Coming sweetheart," Johanna rolled her eyes at the idiocy of the situation before clambering into the sleeping bag. The pair waited up until the Capitol anthem echoed throughout the arena.

"Boy from 3, that means all the ones from 1 and 2 are alive. Couldn't have rammed his nose into his brain then," Cathella murmured. "Girl from six, boy from seven, girl from ten, boy from eleven and both from twelve. Sorry."

"What for?"

"Did you know your male tribute?"

"Not really. He seemed nice enough though. At least he went out fast, painlessly as it could be hopefully."

"Yeah. Anyway we have a big day tomorrow. Goodnight petal."

"Night my lovey dovey," Johanna yawned and rolled over. Glad to have had some company for the past few hours at least.

**Author's Note: Ok so this is possibly the last chapter I'll be able to upload before I go away tomorrow :( However, I will doubtlessly come back full of new ideas and fun plot twists for you all after spending a week thinking about it :) I am trying to write the next chapter now, however whether or not it will be ready in time is another matter and I don't want to rush it and then disappoint you all. Also while I'm away please keep reviewing! And recommend it to your other Johanna loving friends :) **


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Johanna attempted to roll over in the sleeping bag, but the lump that was Cathella kept her firmly in place. Even though they were small it was still an incredibly tight fit in the bag. "Cathella," she grumbled placing her arm over her brow in an attempt to block out the light that had recently filled the arena.

"What? It's too early mum," Cathella moaned back.

"Mum?" Johanna was now suddenly wide-awake, staring at Cathella with a look of disbelieving amusement.

"Aww crap-"

"Did you just call me… mum?"

"Only by mistake…"

"Do I seem like the mothering type to you?"

"Well you're dragging me out of bed at a ridiculous time in the morning so yeah. Pretty much my mother."

"I wasn't going to drag you out of bed just tell you to stick to your own half of the bag. I don't think I'll ever sleep again after that though."

"Oh quit your whining and go make me breakfast."

"You're using breakfast as a pillow remember?"

"Oh," Cathella tried to sit up in the sleeping bag but failed miserably.

"Right we're just going to have to both get out of this thing at once."

"And how do you propose we do that genius? I came up with the track covering idea, now it's your turn for a moment of brilliance."

"Just undo the zip at the side," Johanna looked at Cathella like a parent would look at a child for calling a dog a cat. "See, wasn't that simple now genius?"

"Oh shush you," Cathella replied while being greeted by the cold air that the morning brought. "God its fricking cold out there."

"Really? What gave it away, the snow or the frozen lake over there?" Johanna grumbled grabbing her top and hurriedly putting it back over herself.

"You really aren't a morning person are you?"

"Please, I'm still better than Jason any day," Johanna mentally slapped herself for saying that. Why was she bringing him up now? She prayed that the cameras were focusing on the careers tearing someone to shreds elsewhere in the arena before Cathella started with the questions.

"Jason you say?" the tone in Cathella's voice could not of made it more obvious she was hoping Jason would be some good form of conversation for a while.

"Yeah, he's my frie- brother type of thing," after that chat with Blight the other night she was not going to refer to Jason as her "umm friend" around Cathella.

"Brother type of thing?" Cathella looked at her, eyebrows furrowed into a confused expression as she rummaged through the bag looking for a suitable breakfast.

"Well, we kinda adopted him after his family died," she muttered. It wasn't a lie; it just wasn't the whole truth.

"Aww makes sense," Cathella looked like she was pondering over some thoughts in her head before tossing some dry beef at the other girl. She knew there was more to the story than Johanna was letting on but decided there was really no point in pushing the matter. The knowledge would hardly be valuable in a few weeks.

"Yeah. What's the plans for today?" Johanna questioned, thankful for the chance to change the subject.

"Today, I think we should try hunting," Cathella's eyes turned wide with fake excitement, or at least Johanna hoped it was fake.

"Hunting for what exactly?"

"Some extra food. We've not gotten anything from sponsors yet and I'd quite like to keep it that way. If I can fend for myself as long as I can then Woof can get more sponsor money in and only send me something when I really need it."

"You've really thought this through haven't you?"

"Well yeah course. The fact we're forced to watch it every year helps with working out how to survive and stuff as well. Why haven't you thought it through?"

"I thought it through as far as get an axe. Otherwise not really."

"You're just a little bit too crazy for planning Mason."

"What?"

"It's in your eyes. Sure you'll have a rough idea what to do but at the end of it all you're just going to do whatever you thinks right."

Johanna pondered over this for a moment. She wasn't really crazy; she just did what was right at the time. There was no point in planning things because half the time you never got the chance to follow it through. "It's not so bad, you should give it a shot sometime."

"I can imagine. Nah I like strategies, making plans, seeing how things are supposed to go in my mind and then watching it as it happens. It's kinda fun sometimes."

"Oh yeah and I'm the crazy one," Johanna rolled her eyes and picked up on of the smaller packs. "If we just carry what we need in our pockets and then head back here later it means we can cover twice the ground."

"Sounds good but what about the bags?"

"Already got it covered," Johanna explained, already making her way up the tree. She was more careful than usual, cautious of the ice that made the branches more slippery and difficult to grip than the ones she was used to, but she managed all the same. Upon reaching a stable looking enough branch, she tied the sleeping bag onto it and placed the first of their bags inside it. This process was repeated for the other two bags before she landed nimbly next to Cathella who couldn't hide the impressed look on her face.

"District Seven thing?" she asked, tossing Johanna a few rolls that would be for lunch.

"District Seven thing," Johanna nodded before picking up the wedges of wood and attaching them to her feet.

"We have been walking all day and found nothing," Johanna moaned as she put her left foot in front of her right for what felt like the 50 millionth time that day.

"Johanna we've only been walking about half an hour," Cathella looked at her ally, worrying that if they kept up like this they'd never find any food and her sponsor money would have to be spent on that.

"Really? Feels like forever," she whined, hating herself a little for not being able to tolerate the harsh climate in the same way Cathella was.

"Do you want a break?" Cathella offered.

"God yes," Johanna slumped down and then within seconds was on her feet again, alert and ready for action.

"What's up now?"

"Those aren't our prints are they?" Johanna indicated a short distance away from them where the snow was plentiful with human footprints. Cathella readied her knives and walked towards them carefully.

"There seems to be two pairs of boots at least. They stopped here, wandered around for a while and then headed off that way," Cathella's interpretation of the prints left them with a harsh choice. They could either follow the prints and kill whomever they belonged to, or simply walk away and hope that someone else picked them off. "What you thinking?"

"I think we both know we have to follow them."

"We don't have to-"

"They're too close to our camp. If we don't do it now they could stumble across us later on and we wouldn't have the same advantage we have now."

Cathella sighed looking at Johanna. She hated knowing that the girl was right. That there only chance was to play by the Capitols rules and kill the two innocent children who owned the boots that matched the prints. "Guess we're going hunting then Mason."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

The pair stalked through the snow, following the prints but making sure that they were as well hidden as possible at all times. They had removed the wooden track disguisers, as they were too bulky to maneuver with. Neither of them spoke, letting their own thoughts fill their minds. Thoughts about how they had been horrified at other tributes years ago for doing exactly what they were about to do, kill for the sake of killing. But it wasn't that was it? It was killing knowing that if you didn't kill them they would probably kill you. Irony was a bitch like that. Besides if they had been stupid enough not to cover their tracks in the first place it would only be a matter of time. Or so Johanna kept telling herself.

Seeing them made her heart freeze. The cold that ran through her body then was like nothing she'd ever felt before. "My God," she managed to whisper. The pair from District 5 had huddled together inside a tree trunk in an attempt to stay warm, an attempt that had failed. The icicles that hung off their almost naked bodies and the blue tinge to them was all Johanna needed to see before she knew there wasn't anything they could do for them.

"Are they gone already?" Cathella whispered back, taking a step closer to Johanna, eyes filled with pity. Johanna looked a little closer and saw the shallow movements of their chests rising and falling. She shook her head. "We have to kill them."

"They're as good as dead anyway Cathella, just let them be peaceful," Johanna murmured, not wanting to disturb the pair who looked as though they were still sound asleep.

"Johanna they're not peaceful, they're dying, slowly and painfully and horribly. We have to stop it," Cathella put her hand on Johanna's shoulder and the pair watched as the District 5 tributes struggled to stay alive.

Eventually Johanna sighed. "Give me a knife," she requested, Cathella handed her the smaller of the two knives.

"You not using the axe?"

"I'd feel bad just hacking at them, mutating them just because I could. Their families should at least be able to recognize them."

"Good point. Ok, let's just get this over with," Cathella breathed out, hoping it would relieve some of the tightness in her chest. It didn't.

They walked towards them, still maintaining the silence between them. Praying that the pair were so close to death that they wouldn't feel the knives as they pierced the thin layer of skin that was supposedly protecting them. Just before they reached the pair, Johanna pricked the skin on the back of her hand and let out a sigh.

"What are you doing?" Cathella whispered, confusion all over her face. "Is this another District Seven thing?"

"No. It's just a prick. That's all they're going to feel. It's just a little prick," Johanna repeated the words in her mind until eventually pushing the knife through the girls chest, watching as the blood poured down her bare skin and tainted the snow surrounding them, the innocence of the snow mixing with the danger of the blood. The cannon echoed throughout the arena, confirming Johannas first murder. She felt the girls last breath as it left her body and allowed herself a single tear to flow down her cheek. Johanna wiped the tear from her face and then looked to Cathella, who was still holding the knife against the boys' chest.

"Just a little prick," she whispered and carried out the kill. The second cannon sounded. His blood joined the girls on the snow, mixing together until it was impossible to tell which blood came from which body. The girls stood there for a while, taking in the events that had just happened. They were responsible for the death of the children. Children who would have died anyway but that didn't make the guilt any easier to deal with.

"We should probably get them out of there, make it easier for the hovercraft to collect them," Cathella finally noticed. Johanna couldn't answer, instead she simply moved to the girl and unwrapped her arms from the boy, her blood starting to stain the white uniform Johanna was wearing. She maneuvered the body as carefully as she could out of the tree. Cathella doing the same with the boy.

"Put them back together," Johanna murmured, beginning to move the girl so she was lying across the boys' chest. "Clearly they wanted to be together. We shouldn't take that from them."

"Johanna, they're gone. They won't know-"

"But I will. I'll know that I was the reason they weren't together, like they should have been," Johanna hadn't noticed she was crying until then. Hadn't noticed the tears mixing with the snow and the blood on her hands. Cathella watched the girl arrange the corpses, wondering if she was going mad.

"Come on, we need to go. They'll need to collect the bodies," Cathellas' voice caught on the last word as she put an arm around the sobbing girl and began to walk her back to their camp.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

The small parachute landed with a light thud at the base of the tree. Cathella wandered over to check the contents with curiosity. They didn't need anything, they had food, the sleeping bag did great for keeping them both warm and thanks to the snow they never felt dehydrated. Puzzled, she eventually realized when she couldn't open it that it wasn't meant for her. She tossed it to Johanna.

"Present from Blight," she announced, slumping back down to the ground, watching with curiosity as Johanna opened the small silver ball. Johanna couldn't hide the disappointment on her face as she saw the tree shaped bread inside.

"Just bread," she complained, closing it over.

"Not a note or anything?" Cathella asked, curious as to why Blight would send her bread now. They weren't going to run out anytime too soon.

"I never checked," Johanna fumbled around and opened the ball for a second time and under the bread, sure enough, was the unmistakable handwriting. "We're rooting for you guys," Johanna smiled slightly at Blights awful pun. When she got out of here he was definitely getting a whack around the head for that one.

"God, so Blight's like that as well then?"

"Like what as well?"

"Makes any joke he can possibly think of."

"Yeah pretty much, but they don't really have much to joke about when you think about it."

"When you put it like that it makes me want to be able to tolerate the awful jokes."

"Oh no, there's no reason to tolerate this kind of madness," Johanna stated waving the note dramatically in the air. "I hope he heard that," Johanna murmured, quietly enough so Cathella didn't hear. She wondered how much she was having to fight for Blights attention what with the unlimited drinks he got in the Capitol.

"Come on, time for bed. Only 13 of us lot left."

"Thirteen? Can you count?"

"Yes. Six yesterday, the three that went in the night and then the pair from five."

"Three in the night?"

"God Johanna you didn't seriously sleep through the cannons did you?"

"I guess I must of."

"Ok you are never allowed on watch. Ever."

"What? I'm fine when I'm awake."

"Yes but if you fall asleep…"

"That is a big if though."

"It's still an if though. Look the Careers won't have anymore fires to track tonight, anyone who's out there is either a career or has found some other genius way to keep themselves warm if they made it through the first night. That means the Careers are going to be crawling all over the place trying to find us little outsiders. I'll take watch tonight."

"All night?"

"Yeah. If I start getting to tired I'll wake you and you can take over for a bit."

"I'm not a child Cath-"

"Yes you are Johanna. We all are. Much as this is a ridiculous situation for us to be in we are still children. And you are a child who needs to sleep. I'll get you up when the anthem starts."

Johanna rolled over slightly annoyed at Cathella. She could just about handle being told what to do by Jason, but she'd only known Cathella a few days, maybe a week at a push, and she was bossing Johanna around like nobody's business. She closed her eyes and tried to push her frustration aside to get some sleep.

"Johanna. Johanna. For Gods sake Johanna the anthems playing are you seriously that deaf?" Cathella elbowed the girls side and watched as her eyes began fluttering open. "Sleep well darling?" she managed to ask before the tributes faces began appearing in the sky. The pair from five were the first to appear, meaning all of the Careers were still in a pack together somewhere. The boy from six was next, followed by the boy from nine and lastly the girl from eleven.

"Our darling Careers are still running wild then," Johanna stated before rolling over to head back to sleep again.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Cathella asked teasingly.

"Sleeping genius."

"Eh no chance, it's your turn on lookout."

"I thought you said-"

"Yeah but then you got all moody and I figured it was important to you so, stay up. Enjoy the view. Listen to the trees or whatever it is you do back in seven."

Cathella closed her eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.

Johanna didn't like to think about what would happen when they had to go separate ways. Which would have to happen at some point, the Capitol would never let them both live. What if it came down between the two of them? Could she really kill Cathella? Maybe if Cathella was in the same state as the girl from five was but otherwise she doubted she'd be able to. Plus Cathella would have a good shot at killing her before she got the chance to think about if she could do it or not. Cathella wasn't weak. She wanted to win. That's why she'd stuck with Johanna rather than the Careers, knowing they would of picked her off in no time but that Johanna had needed her. When they did eventually separate, she'd just have to hope that someone else killed Cathella before they ran into each other again.

The stars in the arena surprised her. They were even brighter than the ones at home. Johanna could still easily find the brightest two though; knowing that her mother and Sophia would be with her now more than they ever had been before. Even though the sky was false and simply created by the game-makers, she liked to think of it as a sign.

"Cathella, come on get up," Johanna tried to reach around and unzip the sleeping bag herself but wound up getting her arm stuck on the other side of Cathella just as she woke up. She smiled brightly at her. "Morning sunshine."

"Why are you so close?" Cathella asked, morning breath going straight into Johanna's face.

"I was going to make you breakfast in bed but then you got in the way," Johanna explained, still unable to move her arm from around Cathella.

"Oh I'm sorry how inconsiderate of me," Cathella rolled her eyes and Johanna made a childish angry face back at her.

"You're not funny you know."

"Oh come on even Blights crappy tree joke got you to smile! That's worth at least a giggle or something."

"Oh I'm sorry how inconsiderate of me," Johanna mocked Cathella's voice perfectly, much to the other girls disturbance.

"Just get up and make me breakfast already," Cathella moaned, unzipping the bag and letting Johanna's arm free. She quickly got dressed into her now bloody clothes and tossed Cathella her own ones. Deciding two rolls each would be acceptable for breakfast, partially because Johanna was starving and partially because they seemed to be going off a bit.

"Plans?" she asked, through a mouthful of slightly too hard bread.

"Go for a wander?" Cathella asked. They would need to find some other food sooner rather than later.

"Sounds good," Johanna was just about to begin stuffing the food into her pockets when she heard it, the sound of a branch cracking under a footstep. She looked up at Cathella who had obviously heard the noise too. Johanna moved to pick up the axe and Cathella assembled her two knives.

"Well, well, well what have we here?" the irritatingly smooth voice of Silk broke through the silence of the forest, sending every inch of Johanna into overdrive.

**Author's Note: Ok seriously last chapter before I leave (I feel I may have gotten a little carried away yesterday and instead of packing decided to write). And once again please please please review guys! :) See you in a week or so :)**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Johanna took in the small career pack that stood in front of them; it was only four of them; Silk, the boy form One, the boy from Two, and the girl from Four. Between herself and Cathella they stood a fair chance, but there was still a high chance one of them wouldn't make it through the fight. Johanna knew exactly what she had to do if she wanted the advantage they needed. The boy from Two had a spear, but in training he'd been far better with the sword. The girl from Four had a slight limp. The boy from One seemed completely unarmed, but he clearly knew how to work with his hands. It was only Silk with her collection of knives that were really worrying Johanna. And Johanna knew the one advantage she could hold over Silk in this position.

"Run," Johanna whispered, hoping Cathella had managed to hear her over Silks current speech about how they were stupid to of ever thought they stood a chance. She caught the wink out of the corner of her eye and the she subtly shifted her position so she was the balls of her feet; ready for the chase. She had recently discovered that the shoes had some feature that made running on the snow easier than it should have been.

"So really it makes sense for you to-" Johanna never heard the end of the sentence, she sprinted towards the lake. Knowing that the time it would take them to react to her run would be the lead she needed. Silk was awful at running in general, depending more on her other abilities. Although the boy from One was the fastest he wouldn't be a problem for Johanna's axe. The boy from Two was too awkward to catch her and clearly the girl from Four had done something to her leg that made the chase impossible for her. She concentrated on sticking her feet into the ground enough so that she didn't slide, making sure to try and focus on the direction she wanted to head in, while also checking the ground for any roots that might trip her. She hated running with the axe, it was definitely slowing her down more than she'd like. But she couldn't leave it, if she fell or whoever was chasing her caught up it would save her.

She risked a look behind her, to see who exactly was coming after her, to find herself faced with only the District Two tribute. That meant that the tributes from One had gone after Cathella and the girl from four was probably limping around somewhere hopelessly. However this left Johanna with Two lumbering after her with a weapon that could end up through her at any second.

Johanna tightened the grip on her axe as she headed onto the frozen lake. Two would have the advantage as he'd be more used to the snowy terrain than Johanna but she was still faster and generally more balanced giving her an edge. She could hear the ice creak slightly under her weight; she increased her pace slightly, hoping to get off it as soon as possible. She continued to zigzag slightly though, knowing that if she was to run straight she'd become too much of an easy target. Her breathing was regular, deep, just like Jason had taught her but it grew faster as her heart demanded more oxygen and she felt the determination rise through her. She had to do this. Her feet felt like they were smashing into the ice, even though she knew they were barely breaking the surface of it. Her arms moved perfectly in time with her legs, helping push her forward away from the hell that was chasing her.

The thud seemed too loud, the spear had broken the surface of the ice sending spider web like patterns over it where the delicate surface had cracked. Johanna felt herself stumble as the vibrations reached her part of the ice. But she regained her balance easily, mentally cursing the idiotic ways of Two. What the hell was he playing it? The ice could probably barely hold both of their weights as it was how was that possibly…

Her thoughts were cut short as the ice cracked further. Two really didn't think through throwing the spear. He had simply assumed it would make its way through the tiny girl and left her in a pool of her own blood on the ice. He hadn't considered that he could miss. He was a Career; they never missed.

But he had, the blade of the spear shattering the gentle surface of the ice, weakening it to the extent that as his foot hit the ice it shattered into a thousand pieces, leaving a hole wide enough to fit the boy through. It sealed just as quickly as it had formed, leaving the boy trapped beneath the ice, unable to reach the air he so desperately needed.

It was only after the cannon sounded a few seconds later Johanna spun around to take in the scene; the spear still stuck in the ice's otherwise seemingly untouched surface.

Johanna began making her way back across the lake, to the point her and Cathella had agreed to meet if something like this did happen. She hated the ice, hated that it creaked even though she was so small it could support her weight, it felt the need to make fear course through her body.

Although it was nothing on the fear she felt as she heard the pounding from under her feet. She looked down into the eyes of the dying boy. The boy who was meant to live. The boy who was made for these Games. The boy whose cannon couldn't of sounded yet if he was still able to pound at the glassy surface, still able to hope for life.

Johanna felt her insides drop to a temperature colder than the icy water below her. Cathella. Every muscle in her constricted until her chest hurt from the pain, the air she was breathing stung her teeth and felt acidic as it made it's way through to her lungs.

She forced the spear from the ice, just as the cannon echoed through the arena, confirming that the boy under the ice had joined the list of children lost for the Capitols entertainment.

**Author's Note: Ok guys here's the deal… I am home early from holiday, meaning I get to update before I was meant to… huzzah! However for updating early I would seriously appreciate some reviews: good, bad, hilarious, ranting about the weather honestly, I would love love LOVE to hear from you all :) You guys are the reason I'm still uploading, otherwise I'd simply write this story and keep it all to myself (except I'm really not that evil) so it really means so much to me to hear/ get to read your guys thoughts! Anyways once again I shall try to update once a day or so until I leave next week (again) so you have enough to read/ think about while I'm away :) Anyways until next time happy reading :) **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three

Johanna sprinted faster towards where she assumed the Career pack and Cathella would be. She was more aware now than ever of the blood rushing through her body, her chest tightening with every breath she took in, the tears threatening to form behind her eyes. She couldn't just accept that that had been Cathella's cannon; she wouldn't.

The figure lay in the snow, blood spurting from her neck and onto the frozen ground beneath her. Johanna let out a sigh of relief as she saw the dark hair instead of the golden shine she'd feared she'd see. The girl from District Four was gone; meaning Cathella was still somewhere nearby. She took off after the footprints she hoped would lead her to her friend.

She was running as fast as she could, but the two large weapons in her hands were making it difficult. She knew that the group would be able to run far faster than her; her chances of catching them were slim to none. But if Silk and the other District One tribute were there then she'd definitely need all the help she could get.

Johanna could bet if they managed to take down Cathella she would be the next one on their target list. Her best bet would be find them now, while Cathella and her could still take them down together and then afterwards go their own ways, with most of the Careers out of the way. Even if that wasn't what they were planning to do, she'd still rather get the Careers out of the way.

The forest seemed never ending, for every one tree Johanna passed it felt like she saw eight more appear. How was she ever meant to reach them like this? The only weapons any of them were carrying were knives, they were all fairly fast, except maybe Silk but even she would be moving a fair bit faster than Johanna was right now.

That was when the screaming started. No, no, no, no, no God no that couldn't be her. It wouldn't be. The laughs were undeniable, filled with venom where any other would have humor. The laugh of people who thought these Games were a joke. There was only one thing that could be happening right now.

Johanna didn't stop to think before spinning and heading straight towards the direction of the malicious scene. Cathella was on the ground, the district one male standing over her, kicking her in the side of the head repeatedly, much to Silks amusement. She had also sustained some slices up her arms and legs, her blood flowing out of her and onto the surrounding snow. Johanna threw the axe straight into the head of the district one male without a second thought and smiled sadistically for a moment as his cannon sounded and Silk noticed her for the first time since she had appeared.

"Get the fuck away from her!" Johanna screamed, running towards the girls, spear held threateningly. Silk, clearly having common sense for once quickly sprinted into the trees. Johanna was at Cathellas side in a second.

"Johanna, it's ok just leave me. You need to get her," Cathella whispered.

"I'll be right back," Johanna replied, heading off in the opposite direction from Silk. She returned minutes later clutching as many of their items as she could carry.

"Johanna you can't," Cathella warned as Johanna began tearing one of the bags to shreds with one of the knives.

"Can't what? Cathella it'll be fine, we can stop the bleeding and we can-"

"Johanna," Cathella looked at Johanna, watched as she tied the makeshift tourniquets around her upper arm and legs, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm not making it."

"No you can't say that. You can't just give up."

"Yes I can Johanna. We always knew we couldn't both make it."

"That doesn't mean it should be like this."

"Then what should it be like? Should I die like those kids from five? Like the kids in the Cornucopia?"

"No you shouldn't die. This shouldn't be happening, it's not fair."

"It's never been fair Johanna," for the first time Cathella felt the tears forming in her eyes as she looked at the girl that she knew she needed so much now. Knew she wouldn't be able to do this alone. She had never wanted to die alone.

Johanna tied the last of the tourniquets in place, beginning to compress ice together to press on the places blood was leaking from. Johanna could tell the Careers had done a good job of making sure Cathella wouldn't survive. The slashes in her arms ran vertically down her arm rather than horizontally as they did on her legs. The blood came out in bursts rather than a constant flow so she knew they'd hit the arteries. There was no way she would survive without proper medical help.

"Send something! Send anything! We need something!" Johanna screamed to the sky, hoping Blight would hear her could her the desperation in her voice as she sat there trying desperately to keep the blood inside the girl's body.

"Johanna it's no use. I'm-"

"Don't you dare say it! You're not dying! Not here!" Johanna went about melting snow, and placing it in a flask. "Drink this, we need to keep your fluids up until they send the parachutes in."

"Johanna they're not sending them."

"Yes they are! They have to," Johanna watched as Cathellas eyes watched her. She knew they couldn't both get out, she'd just always thought she'd never have to see her die. She tried to control the tears that were streaming down her face with no luck, she couldn't deny it; Cathellas death was tearing her apart. She could feel her sanity dancing around her head, threatening to leave her ant second.

"Johanna give me your hand," Cathella requested, reaching out her own blood-covered palm. Johanna wiped the snot from her nose as she placed her other hand in Cathellas, feeling the warm liquid stain her pale skin. She wasn't expecting the sharp pain as the knife cut through the first few layers of skin on her palm. Cathella pressed her own now cut palm into hers tighter. "Now we're blood sisters. When you win, a bit of me will win with you."

"District Eight thing?" Johanna asked, clasping her other hand around Cathellas, allowing as much of the girls blood to enter the tear in her skin.

"District Eight thing," she confirmed, smiling slightly. Inspite of everything she was glad Johanna was here; glad she had her as company in her final moments. Johanna continued helplessly to tie up Cathellas wounds, replace the dressings as best she could by tearing up clothes, the bags, anything she could find that would do, but it was no use. There was too much blood surrounding them, staining the ground and the surfaces of the girls and not enough in Cathella. As she began crying Johanna found herself just holding her, wrapping her arms around her in a hope to make her final moments feel safe. When she slipped into unconsciousness Johanna broke and sat sobbing uncontrollably, continuing to try and give her water to drink, trying to elevate her limbs, trying to check her head injuries, screaming into the forest, begging for Blight of Woof to send her anything to help them but neither did; they knew a lost cause when they saw one. As the pulse in Cathellas neck grew weaker and faster to join her weak breathing Johanna felt everything inside her break; it didn't matter how much Jason had trained her to kill, he had never taught her how to lose. Never taught her to lose hope, how to lose faith, how to lose the fight.

Cathellas blood soaked Johanna's hands, her face, her clothes, only the places where tears had run down her face allowed the viewers to see the real color of her skin. Her hair was matted with the blood as it began to set and cause it to stick together. She grabbed her hair into a handful and sliced it off with the knife, unable to cope with the blood soaking into it. Johanna watched Cathella's breathing grow forced, as her chest started moving less and less with each time she tried to keep her body oxygenated. Johanna squeezed her hand, determined that Cathella could still feel it, determined she hadn't gone, determined she wouldn't go. That the strong girl, the girl with the knives would make it through, that some how they could both make it out of here.

But it was a lost cause, her cannon echoed through the arena and Johanna felt the last of her humanity leave as she wept uncontrollably, clinging on desperately to the corpse of the girl.

**Author's Note: Not gonna lie, I kinda cried a little writing that. Ok seriously needing some reviews on this chapter though guys! Tears or no tears? If tears awesome (I mean not that I like making you guys cry or anything just kinda means I'm doing alright) and if not please give advice about what I could've done to make this scene better as it is a really important one in the course of the story. I mean Johanna's just lost her humanity! Next chapter shall be up soon (as a warning, it will probably get pretty bloody). **

**Also just as a side note, I spent most of my time writing this chapter listening to my friends' acoustic version of "Save Me- Nicki Minaj" because the lyrics are beautiful and sound so perfect with just an acoustic guitar accompanying them.**

**Once again guys reviews pretty please? :)**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

The day was an eventful one as far as the Games went, nearly as many tributes had died today as had in the bloodbath. It was an eventful day for Johanna too, it was the last day she was truly the little girl from District Seven. She sat as long as she could with Cathella, sometime in the night the hovercraft appeared basically demanding her to move and allow them to take her from Johanna. As she watched them lifting the corpse into the hovercraft Johanna physically felt something inside her snap. Felt as her humanity was ripped out of her, felt as dark thoughts coursed throughout the rest of her body, where thoughts usually wouldn't dare to go. She wanted out of this. Wanted out of this now and there was only one way that was going to happen.

Grabbing the axe she headed back to the Cornucopia, knowing her best chance of finding things to kill would be to track them form the start, otherwise she would end up wandering around lost for days. Plus it gave her something to focus on. She limited her supplies to just the jacket, sleeping bag and water flask; most of the rest had gone now anyway.

She wandered through the trees, stopping only for a moment when a white rabbit appeared. She threw the spear at it, unsurprised when it hit it's target, she set up a small fire, preparing to eat. She would have been more careful about covering her tracks if she actually cared if anyone found her. It was stupid move, she knew it was, but she could happily deal with anyone who stupidly tried to take her on right now.

Curling in the sleeping bag was lonely, she felt like a huge part of her was missing. She accepted the fact that she would probably always have a lonely feeling now; nothing was going to fix that. As she lay there she watched the last few embers of the fire, even though they burned her eyes she enjoyed their dancing. Then she felt sickened at herself remembering the light from the fire would eventually die and she was enjoying watching it die.

Sleep came sparingly that night, for the first time since entering the games Johanna woke up at the sound of the anthem. She turned away so as not to see the faces in the sky, she already knew everyone that had died that day, the three careers and Cathella. She wasn't ready to see Cathella's face in the sky, not that there'd ever be another opportunity to see it.

Morning brought along a fresh light, and a fresh chance to kill. Johanna put the jacket on and began her hunt, shoving the sleeping bag back into the smaller bag and slinging it awkwardly over her shoulder. Finding tracks in the snow was no longer difficult, the arena was obviously smaller than it usually was and people had been running all over the place, finding decent ones to follow was proving difficult.

There was nine of them left, one more kill and the Careers would split for good; although it seemed like they already had. Silk was the only one left from the sub-group that had attacked her yesterday and the girl from two and the boy from four hadn't seemed very friendly in training.

The cannon sounded then, so one less to worry about. The Careers would have to split now; it wasn't hard to notice that they always split when there were eight tributes left. It would make them harder to track but easier to kill.

Johanna continued through the forest, having little luck in terms of tracking anything and it was beginning to grow late. She watched the trees be lazily weighed down by the snow, as though they were some how sleeping through the beauty they were creating. She hated to admit it but the scenes were amazing. That was when she stumbled across the single set of tracks leading deeper into the forest. Johanna took a deep breath and set out to do what she knew she had to do.

Following the tracks was the easy part, trying to guess how long they'd been there for and how long she'd be walking before she even came close to finding them was the tough part. She broke into a jog, hoping to half the journey time. The fact the footprints were whole meant that whoever had left them hadn't been in any immediate hurry.

When she saw the girl she took a moment to consider that she could still win this. She clearly had some skill that had allowed her to live this long, but what? She was scrawny, clearly living off plants, as she had no weapons to kill anything else with meaning if any of the Careers appeared she'd be a goner anyway.

She hadn't noticed Johanna approaching; she wasn't asleep just unaware. Johanna took advantage of that fact and weighed the spear in her hands, sliding it up and down until she found the place where the balance was right, where she could rest the stick on two fingers and the weight at both ends was equal. She took one last look at the girl, watched as her breath formed delicate miniature clouds, then watched as the spear pierced the back of her head. The cannon sounded; six relatively innocent souls left. At least she'd died quickly Johanna thought, as she tried to pull the spear from her head as elegantly as she could.

Johanna sighed as she found a suitable tree to camp in. If the games were the same every year, which she assumed to be true, when it came to the final four they'd start the finale. That left her two more kills until it all ended. It would be a fast Game, it had only been at most four days and it was looking like it would last another few at most. They would be disappointed, they wouldn't like it, and in the Games, what they didn't like, they changed.

**Author's Note: Ok guys you know the drill! Review please and I will try and update a few more times before my trip away :) **


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Four days had passed since the last deaths in the arena; the girls from two and three were now both gone. In terms of Johanna nothing much had happened, she had hunted, with good success, meaning she needed very few parachutes, she had slept and she had wandered, trying not to think. Blight had sent her warm coffee one morning but it had only made her think more and made her tired mind far too overactive so when he sent her more the next day she ignored it, hoping he'd get the message.

She assembled her spear, axe and the knives before heading off in a random direction. She'd found herself wandering in a large circle around the Cornucopia but she'd found no useful human tracks. If the Games continued without a death for this long eventually the Game makers would make sure something exciting happened.

Naturally just as the thought entered her head she felt the wind picking up just a little bit. Enough to make the branches on the trees shiver and allow some of the light snow to fall. Johanna threw on the jacket as quickly as she could, which wasn't very fast at all given the fact her heavy weapons kept getting in the way.

Then she realized it was snowing, actually snowing. For the first time since the Games had begun it was actually snowing. Johanna panicked; all the tracks would be lost. She'd literally be hunting blind.

She began running, hoping to break away from the area of the arena that was snowing but the further she got the more it seemed as if the entire arena was about to be recoated. Crap. She sat herself down at the base of a tree and put her head in her hands. God this was so stupid. She no longer cared about killing the tributes, she just wanted out. Out of this hell that the Capitol had created and back to the safety of her own life. She just couldn't find them in this madness. At this rate she'd be as well just waiting around until someone stumbled into her. Not that Johanna was going to follow that idea through. It meant sitting still, and that was something she was growing more and more uncomfortable with.

"This way," the voice made it's way over the growing wind to Johanna. She was on her feet in a second, axe ready in her right hand; knives ready to be passed when the axe was thrown.

"How can you tell?" another voice asked. Perfect, two kills and they still had no clue she was here. She began making her way towards the voices, trying to hide behind the trees as best she could.

Then she spotted them. Not two of them, but three. This made things more difficult. She didn't know if they had any weapons of their own and there was no chance she could take them all out at the same time. Johanna knew she had to do this and she had to do it quickly. If she waited too long they'd notice her eventually.

She focused her eyes on the girl of the group and then threw the axe. The first boy barely had time to react before the knife was lodged in his chest. The second boy faced her; his face had little expression on it. Maybe sadness for the loss of his friends but not for his own life. He'd known as soon as he'd been reaped he wasn't going to go home. At least he knew his death would be quick. The three cannons sounded one after the other.

"I'm sorry," Johanna whispered, as the wind once again began to pick up strength letting her know the Gamemakers were getting ready for their finale.

**Author's Note: Ok so I realize this is a very short, rather blunt chapter. I'm personally starting to feel like I'd rather write about Johanna's healing process after the Games rather than the Games themselves (which is probably rather obvious now). So the next chapter will be the finale and the end of the games. Hope you are still enjoying reading and well you know the drill now (as in see that little box of happiness down there… it needs some writing in it, it's all lonely at the moment) :)**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

Johanna went and retrieved the weapons from the children's corpses, trying her best not to mangle their features further than she already had. A fourth cannon echoed around the arena. Three remained. At least one of them had to be a career, if Johanna remembered correctly. She began her sprint towards the place she knew she'd end up soon enough anyway. The place where all this began.

Her boots caused snow to flail upwards into the wind. It was on her back, pushing her towards the Cornucopia. The Games nearly always ended there, and the finales always led them there. She stopped in her tracks at the site of the creature.

It was huge, catlike with fur so white that would have blended into the snow perfectly were it not for the jet black stripes that tainted its body. It pulled back its upper lip, revealing fangs that were easily the length of Johanna's forearm and twice as sharp as the knives she held. She remained perfectly still, finding her center balance ready to leap out the way when the creature made its move. She dropped the axe onto the ground and held a knife in each hand. She met the creature's gaze and held strong, ready for the fight that was inevitably going to happen. She could try running but she wasn't 100% sure how easy it would be to escape from the creature and knowing the Gamemakers they'd have some kind of cruel trick up their sleeves. She kept her breath steady, recovering from her previous run.

The creature made a pounce for Johanna but she was swift and dodged out of the way, causing the creature to hit its left side off a nearby tree. Johanna hoped it had made it angry, people tended to make more mistakes when angry she doubted the mutts would be any different. It growled angrily at her and she twirled the knife in her hand, watching as the creature got distracted by the light that danced off the surface of the bloodied blade. One weakness figured out.

Johanna began twirling the blade in her left hand as well, although not as skillfully as she did with her right hand. She knew the creature would struggle more to turn to the left after it's nasty collision with the tree, so she began moving slowly to its left. Its eyes remained on her but she could see the focus going between her and the patterns the blades created with the light on the snow. It crouched down and Johanna did the same, hoping she wouldn't meet the creature head on in the collision.

As it moved its body weight into position to pounce a second time Johanna prepared herself to jump. The creatures' front paws left the ground and she lunged into the nearest tree and scrambled up as high as she could. The creature took a moment to wonder where she'd gone before tracking her in the tree. It took a running leap and gripped on with its claws. Johanna took a moment from her position near the top of the tree to watch its movements up the tree; it had to move its two front paws at the same time followed by its two back paws, if it didn't it became unbalanced meaning she had at least disabled it's claws.

As it grew nearer the top it became clear it wouldn't be able to make it much higher up the tree without the branches snapping. It was now or never. She jumped down onto the next branch down and held the knife ready. She underestimated how fast the creature could move as it planted its teeth into the flesh of her calf. She screamed in pain but while its teeth were occupied she forced the knife through it's eye quickly before it got the chance to snap off her hand. It didn't die instantly, letting out a slight roar as it fell onto the white ground, hitting each branch on the way down.

Johanna waited a moment, making sure it was actually dead before making her way slowly down the tree, trying not to catch the gaping hole in her leg on too many branches. She ripped up her jacket and tied as much as she could over the wound, she hadn't had time to sterilize it but the Games would be over soon, either the Capitol would be able to fix it or it was going to be the least of her problems. After picking up her axe, she began jogging towards the Cornucopia again, leaving a suspicious trail of blood behind her.

Upon reaching it she found herself glad they never bothered to clean the arenas during the Games. Since no new snow had fallen the area surrounding the Cornucopia was still stained in a disturbing blood red. Looking around she seemed to be the first one here, luckily. She debated her options, she could wait in the tree line but it left her vulnerable to an attack form behind and if someone spotted her she was in no position to make a run for it. She needed to be somewhere where she could see everyone but they wouldn't see her, climbing a tree seemed like a bad idea, if someone had a bow and arrow there was no way she'd be able to dodge it. The roof of the Cornucopia seemed like her best bet. She did one last sweep of the area before making a run for it. Her leg was screaming, if it was possible for such things to scream. She gritted her teeth as she ran but they were stinging from the run. She clambered up the large metal structure and collapsed, letting herself catch her breath and looking down at her leg. The blood was flowing from her leg, which she knew she should be grateful for, but it was impossible given the fact it felt like it had just been ripped off.

"Looks like it's just us," Johanna's insides turned hollow as she heard Silks voice. She sat up instantly, axe in hand but was confused when she realized she was still the only one on top of the Cornucopia. She slid her body over to the edge of the structure and saw Silk and the boy from four standing in the bloodied snow at different sides of the clearing. Seriously? Just the two of them, Johanna found herself grateful that they had miscounted the cannons.

"Not for long," the boy replied, running straight at Silk. Johanna watched as the fight grew more and more viscous, as it turned from skilled punches and kicks to desperate hair pulling and scratching, each desperately fighting for the life they'd trained for, the life they'd lived for. The boy managed to gouge one of her eyes right out the socket before she managed, in her now strongly disorientated state to reach for the knife he'd previously thrown to the ground and stab him in the heart. She watched with a satisfied face as the boy fell before her, knowing she'd finally done what she'd trained her whole life to do; she'd won the hunger games.

It was in that moment, the moment when victory and pride had flowed through the girls body, that Johanna forced herself onto her feet, holding the axe in her hands, and flew like an angel covered in blood off the Cornucopia and buried the axe in the girls skull. She stood panting, waiting for something, some kind of cruel twist to present itself and rip her from life as well but instead all she heard was the voice of Caesar Flickerman as he announced the victor of the 68th Hunger Games was her, Johanna Mason.

**Author's Note: So there you have it, the story of how Johanna Mason survived the hunger games, well in my mind anyway. Now unfortunately this will be my last update for a week or so as I am away on holiday and there is no chance I will be able to update there as student hotels charge for Wi-Fi and well… I am but a poor student :( So I hope you have enjoyed her Hunger Games and when I return it will be back to the joys of the Capitol :) Please keep reviewing guys! :D **


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The small girl groaned as the bright light fought past her closed eyelids. She debated for a moment if it had all been a dream, if she had dreamed the Games and would now have to go and actually compete. The idea lasted only moments before she decided it was impossible to imagine the tightening in her throat as she thought about Cathella's bloodied body. She tried to raise her hand to wipe the sleep from her eyes but she was met with the rattling sound of handcuffs keeping her hands attached firmly to the bed. She noted the strange catheters poking through her skin.

Panic surged within her; what the crap was happening. She soon found her other limbs stuck tight to the bed. She rattled them louder and louder, desperately trying to break free.

"Johanna, Johanna just breathe," Blights voice struggled to be heard over the sound of metal on metal. He placed his hand on the side of her face and forced her gaze to look at him. "It's all over, you're safe," he lied and watched as the girl as her now sedated body grew limp and wondered how he was going to prepare her for the real games the Capitol had created.

Johanna awakened feeling tired and groggy, she noticed that this time her hands and legs were free from their previous restraints and she sat up and looked around the room properly. Her muscles ached from their lack of use; she guessed she'd been out for a few days. Upon examination she noticed her leg had lost it's barricades as well and she was completely free to move.

She rubbed her face with her hands, noticing that they felt softer than before. She shook out her short hair, which had definitely been washed since the arena. She noticed the sleeping figure slumped in a chair at the opposite end of the room.

"Blight?" she asked, not sure how deeply he slept. He mumbled slightly but otherwise seemed unstirred. She swung her legs round out the bed; debating how easy walking was going to be. She slowly began putting her weight on her legs but the pain she expected didn't come.

"Blight," she said a second time, this time reaching to shake him but his hand snapped round and grabbed her before she got the chance to.

"God don't do that to me," Blight sighed releasing her hand. "How you feeling sweetheart?"

"Don't call me sweetheart," Johanna returned to the bed, rearranging the pillows so she could lean against the wall comfortably.

"Wow you are charming aren't you?"

"I do try."

"You're not going to make this easy are you?"

Her only response was to tilt her head at him and allow a half smile to spread over her face. He sighed and debated if there was going to be any easy way to explain the situation to her.

"Johanna you need to listen to me. I know you're annoyed and upset and confused but your anger can't even begin to match that of President Snows. You can't afford to do anything wrong now. Even just the slightest wrong move can lead to something worse than those games."

Now Johanna just looked annoyed. He knew how she was feeling; he'd felt the same way when Holt had warned him of the same dangers after his games. But he had to warn her, everyone needed to have some idea what they were up against being a victor.

"You mean he can take more than my sanity?"

"Johanna he can take things you didn't even know you had. You have to play their game."

"They have more?"

Blight couldn't help but smile at her then; but not one of his genuine smiles and not a smile that said he was trying to reassure her. It was a smile that portrayed only one message: That she would have been better off losing the first game.

**Author's Note: Hola readers! Ok I realize this is a very short chapter and not much is happening (again) but this is due to an unfortunate amount of jet lag and sleepiness (and a little bit of hungoverness) on my part, which I apologize for now. On the other hand was so happy to come back and find that even though I've not updated all week new people are still continuing to subscribe and favorite! Awesome job guys, made me ecstatic coming back and finding that in my e-mail :D So now for the fun part I am now very close to 50 reviews and well… it would be absolutely AMAZING (yes so amazing I even used caps lock) if we could get that pretty review number up to 50 before the next chapter gets up. So pretty please (more than ever) can you guys give some feed back? Anything at all you feel like you need to say, or correct or suggest go nuts! I promise I will try my best to answer any questions you guys have. **


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jason stared wide-eyed at the screen. This wasn't his Johanna. His Johanna had wept over the death of a rabbit in a field. His Johanna had cared about people and he'd thought after watching Cathella's death that his Johanna was still in there somewhere but it seemed impossible. He watched the bloodied girl standing over the corpse, axe in had with a strange smile playing over her face.

He grabbed his well-worn jacket and headed out the door. District Seven was almost unrecognizable. People in the street whispering excitedly about the extra food they would receive, people discussing if they'd ever seen Johanna before and if they'd ever thought she was capable of winning the Games. Most people only seemed to know about her because she was the unlucky one who's name had come out of the reaping bowl twice; and now because she was the first female hunger games victor from District Seven.

"Jason! Jason did you see? She won she did it!" some girl Jason vaguely recognized from school ran up and hugged him. He awkwardly wrapped one arm around her back, wondering what the hell had gotten into everyone.

"I saw," he muttered back, wishing the girl he was holding now was his Johanna.

"Isn't it just amazing! You must be so happy," she released herself from the hug remembering Jason wasn't really the hugging type.

"I'll be happier when she's back," he smiled at the girl before turning and heading back towards the woods. He couldn't deal with people at the moment. Couldn't deal with them being happy about the deaths of 23 innocent kids because it meant more food for them. Couldn't deal with them being happy a girl they had never known before was now ruined, with just tiny pieces of the girl she was before still haunting her mind. And above everything else, he couldn't deal with the fact he still loved her, still loved that she'd done it because it meant she could come home. He hated that he was happy those others had died because it meant she could live, meant that he could still have her.

"Jason Beech," Jason rolled his eyes before turning around to face the peacekeeper.

"Yes," he asked, barely managing not to snap at the man.

"You live with Johanna Mason, correct?"

"Currently yes."

"In that case I have been asked to escort you and your belongings to the victors village."

"I thought Johanna had to be back for that to happen?"

"She can chose the home but we will move her possessions out there now to save time when she returns."

"I see." The pair stared at each other for a moment, neither really sure how to react. "Can this wait until another time?"

"No it must be done now," the peacekeeper stated. Jason tried not to smirk at the ridiculous schedule of the peacekeepers. He sighed before simply walking towards his house knowing the peacekeeper would follow. "You must be proud," the man tried to make conversation. Jason knew he was most likely to be from Two meaning if his friend had won the Games he would be proud, how was he meant to know that in the outlying districts winning the Games wasn't so much an honor, more lucky.

"Yeah, I guess I must be."

**Author's Note: Hello, I apologize for the shortness of the chapter I really wanted to write more into it but I have a few surprises for later on that would have been spoiled if I wrote too much now. However I hope you are all still enjoying the story and thank you for all your lovely reviews! Please do keep them coming :)**

**-R**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Just remember what I told you and this will all be fine," Blight whispered in Johanna's ear before turning to head back into the audience. "And sit on your hands, you talk too much with them."

Johanna watched as her mentor disappeared and tried not to roll her eyes at him. She knew he was trying to look out for her, but at the moment she was in no mood to be looked after. She just wanted to be alone, a thing which seemed impossible in the Capitol. Everywhere she went, Blight was mere seconds away. Anytime she went for a glass of water, someone would congratulate her on killing abilities. She just wanted to be home, just wanted to be back with her dad and Jason where she could forget about all of this, or at least attempt to.

"Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great honor to introduce to you the victor of the 68th Hunger Games. You know her; you love her ability to swing an axe and some how still look like a little angel. Please welcome Johanna Mason!" Caesars introduction brought about cheers and whoops from the crowd that reminded Johanna of a thunderstorm she had once had the misfortune to get caught in.

Johanna walked onto the stage, the slit in the front of her dress revealing most of her legs; where the bottom half was quite loose and seemed to float around her effortlessly, the top half was gathered into a center point, pulling what little material there was right into her torso. She had complained greatly about the slits in the side of the dress and the low cut top, but Prima had insisted that it was all the rage in the Capitol and Johanna had been in no mood to try and reason with her.

"Well don't you look a star!" Caesar greeted her taking one of her hands and holding it up. The crowd stood and began to throw what appeared to be roses onto the stage. Caesar led the small girl into a bow, hoping she was prepared for the explanation he'd been ordered to get out of her. "Please, take a seat. So you really had us going for a while there, what with that four in training and all!"

"I guess I just had a bad day."

"Well just as well you didn't have one of those in the arena!" he paused for the crowd to laugh, which they did, perfectly on cue as ever. Johanna wondered if he actually found the jokes funny himself, or if he simply knew the citizens of the Capitol that well.

"Just as well everyone else in the arena seemed to have one of those days," she corrected him.

"Oh come now, you're skills with the axe were some of legend!"

"Well being from Seven I guess I've just had a lot of practice with them. We've always had some lying around the house and not having many other toys to play with I guess they just seemed like the next best thing," she lied. Training for the Games was illegal and even though it was known that One and Two had special academies she doubted the Capitol would look at her training with Jason the same way they looked at their precious Careers.

"Well that skill has definitely come in handy for you. Now I know you must be excited to watch the re-cap I know we all are aren't we?" Caesar waited for the crowd to respond and Johanna felt her stomach knot up like nothing she'd ever known.

"I don't think I could bear the thought of waiting a single moment longer," Johanna replied, trying her best to make her words sound convincing. She knew she wasn't great at it, but even then it was probably enough to fool the citizens of the Capitol. She hoped her father and Jason weren't fooled though, hoped they could tell she just wanted to come home to them and then they could carry on their lives and act like nothing had happened.

She tried not to watch as the brutal killings began. First the bloodbath where the Careers maliciously took out anyone tiny enough and stupid enough to try and take them on. She felt her stomach tighten as she watched Orson begin decapitated by the boy from Two. She wanted to be sick, more than that she wanted to run off the stage and away from the horrors she knew were coming. Currently she could convince herself that her killing had been some other part of her mind taking over, a darker side that she could remove. Actually watching herself killing would remove any chance of that. To look at what her face did as she stabbed and hacked at the children who had had been just as alive as she was; who had the right to live just as much as she did.

She tried to make her eyes look through the screen rather than at it, trying not focus on the image of her killing the girl form Five. Her hands tightened on the edge of the seat and she took deeper breaths, trying to steady herself.

She watched as Cathella died. Watched as she held the girl close to her almost like she was willing the life to flow out of herself and into the dying girl. She remembered then how it felt; knowing that even the strongest would fall. The realization that at the end of this there would be only one and that one had to be her.

Then she found herself unable to remove her eyes from the screen as she watched herself hunt and kill the other children left in the arena. She wanted to break down and apologize to Panem for what she'd done, to pray and beg for some form of forgiveness that she didn't deserve but she knew she couldn't. Not here. Not yet.

Her eyes became less focused as she killed the great tiger, she didn't feel so guilty about that as it wasn't human, it had no one to care for it except the cruel Gamemakers who'd created it.

Then there was Silk; the final fight between her and the boy from four became far more dramatic with the music and the changing camera angles. However the outcome was the same, Silk was left standing alone surrounded by the bloodied snow. The angle changed once again for Johanna's final action in the Game. The camera was on the ground pointing towards the Cornucopia so when Johanna made her flying leap towards Silk it looked like she was falling from the sky.

Johanna suddenly found herself very grateful she had refused dinner that night as she watched Silks face change from an expression of pride to one of crippling pain. Johanna hadn't imagined what it must feel like to actually die. To feel as the blade pierced the skin and the nerves contained within it before cracking ruthlessly through the skull and meeting the fleshy brain. The pain would be the thing that killed her.

"Well what an ending you gave us there Miss Mason," Caesar commented as the screen turned black and snapped Johanna back into the present. She wanted to cry. Wanted this to be over. But of course it wouldn't be, this was the part they wanted to see. They wanted to know how she felt about becoming a cold-blooded killer purely for their entertainment, wanted to see if she was proud, upset, horrified or just in shock. Because it was what they wanted to see, she gave them nothing. She kept her face relaxed, and focused instead on looking at the many sparkles on Caesar's suit, noticing the patterns they made.

"Why thank you Caesar, I wouldn't liked to have disappointed you," her flat words brought the crowd into a frenzy of cheers. She ignored them as she mentally slapped herself for using Sophia's words at a time like this.

"Oh and you definitely did not! So tell us, what made you climb onto the Cornucopia?"

"I just figured since Silk was at the top of the food chain, she didn't have any reason to look up. So up was the safest place to be."

"And what an idea that turned out to be. Miss Mason we simply wouldn't dream of holding you from your celebrations any longer as I know you must have many fabulous parties to attend to now, as will the rest of us," he paused once again, allowing the crowd to roar in agreement. "So until our interview tomorrow, I bid you a goodnight!"

Once again Johanna was on her feet, bowing to the crowd. However her eyes were not on the crowd instead she looked up into the sky and tried to ignore the tightness in her chest as she realized there was now four overly bright stars in the sky.

**Author's Note: Whoop whoop 50 reviews! You guys are legends! :D Also if any of you want to see the dress Johanna was wearing let me know and I'll find some way to link it to you :) Anyways now that I have 50 reviews naturally I'm becoming selfish and asking for some more… pretty please? :) And a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far you guys have made my day so many times I can't even count (well, 50 times roughly) and make me wanna keep writing! So massive thanks a thousand times over and hope you're still enjoying the story! :)**

**-R**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

People swirled through the room, the bright colors enveloping their bodies and the laughter in the room cancelling out the anger in Johanna's eyes. She hated this, the carefree world where death was meaningless and life was even less meaningful. She sighed and headed over to the bar, knowing it was a common way for other Victors to dull the pains of the mind. She noticed a jug of wine had been left on the surface and began to pour herself a glass.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the voice whispered into her neck, sending tingles down her spine. She didn't look round to meet the owner of the voice, instead simply finished pouring the glass and took a swig.

"Good thing you're not me then," she turned to face the bright green eyes, the perfect jawline and didn't even flinch when she realized her lips were mere millimeters away from his. He rolled her eyes at her and grabbed her by the arm and began dragging her towards the bathroom. "Hey what're you-" her sentence was cut short as she threw up over the floor.

"Told you not to do that," the boy reminded her teasingly.

"Oh screw you," Johanna replied, wiping the vomit from her chin. He handed her a handkerchief, which she took begrudgingly. "What do you want anyway Odair?"

"Ah so you do recognize me," his eyes lit up with a certain boyish glee then that Johanna couldn't help but find attractive.

"How could I forget the Capitol's Golden Boy?" she asked tilting her head to the side smiling, her voice oozing with disapproval.

He simply pulled her to her feet with a smile, "You'll thank me for this one day Mason."

"Yeah yeah yeah but I get the feeling you and I have different ways of thanking people," she stabled herself and began heading back into the crowd, promising herself she wouldn't need his help again.

"Just stay away from the wine," he called after her. She rolled her eyes, like she hadn't already worked that one out for herself.

"Ah Miss Mason I have been looking for your company all night!" a green man exclaimed, wrapping his arm affectionately around her waist and planting a kiss on her cheek. She pulled her shoulders forward, trying to create a cocoon for herself away from the man. "May I say you were simply fabulous to watch in the arena this year. What a show you gave us!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," she muttered, wriggling away from him and heading over to collect some food, not that she planed to eat it, it was just nice to have something occupying her hands.

"Oh you're not getting away that easy," the man exclaimed this time wrapping both his arms around her and pulling her right against him. Johanna sighed and tried to accept this was her life now. Her life would be being grabbed by strangers who assumed they owned her, who assumed she liked it when really she had already noticed at least 3 ways she could kill the man at this very second, without too much effort on her part. She settled for a simple and swift kick to delicate regions before heading off to the bar again, leaving the man in a ball on the floor with curious spectators gathering around him.

"Am I going to have to spend all night looking after you?" Odair mumbled in her ear, gripping her hand, entwining his fingers through hers deliberately and leading her down a corridor he knew was lined with rooms used for more intimate meetings.

"Well it's how you seem to be spending your night. Although I am perfectly capable of looking after myself," Johanna complained, pulling her hand from his as soon as they entered a small room. He made his way across the room towards her, wrapping his arms around her hips and pulling them against his with purpose, letting his lips fall onto her neck, kissing it lightly then pulling back so the thin space of air between her skin and his mouth felt heavy and tense; filled with expectations.

"Clearly not. Did Blight tell you anything about how this works," he whispered to her neck, his breath teasingly making it's way over her naked skin, sending shivers through her body. It was in that moment she first realized why it was the Capitol chose to save him, but his playful ways weren't going to work on her. As she went to pull away from him he held her tighter, his muscles pressed against her sides refusing to let her move. Then she got the plan, the real reason no one else could see the embrace. Not because they might see, but because they might hear.

"We look out for ourselves."

"No we look out for the ones we love. Because they mean nothing to the Capitol but we do, we can stop them hurting them but only if we play their games."

"Why is everyone so determined that this is a game?"

"Because it is; there are rules, very strict rules and if you play by the rules you'll make it to the end but if you break the rules you lose, you lose things that matter to you, lose the ones you love."

"So there's no way to win?" her question caught him off guard, he didn't have an answer. After the Capitol had killed his sister he'd played their cruel games to save the rest of his family, in the hope that maybe it'd get better when another exciting victor came along. But no one had interested the Capitol like he had; no one had brought them together in lust like he had. He just shook his head. "So why bother playing at all?"

"Because sometimes it's not about winning, sometimes it's just about making it to the end."

"And what if I won't settle for that? What if I want to win?"

"Then you'll lose."

**Author's Note: Ok guys so firstly once again thank you for reading and thank you even more to those of you who have recently reviewed, subscribed or favorited the story, the e-mails I get when you do make me very happy :) One thing I need to point out is that Johanna doesn't particularly like Finnick (I know they end up being best friends eventually so I promise all shall be explained soon). Next chapter in a few days and Johanna's first meeting with the Darling President Snow.**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty-One

Johanna followed the woman down the corridor, she was glad for the change of scene, Capitol parties really weren't her thing, but the thought of speaking with President Snow made her stomach do funny somersaults that she assumed were normal for the emotions coursing through her body. Then again she had never had to face someone she hated and feared as much as President Snow and wasn't sure what the protocol was; part of her wanted to get in there and rip him limb from limb like he deserved, but another part of her was screaming at her to turn and run as she remembered the night he placed the victory crown on her head.

After the interview with Caesar Johanna's head was spinning. Had she done well? Was she going to get another warning from Blight about behaving herself around the Capitol? She just wanted to get home and curl into bed and forget about everything. Not that it would be allowed. Addie had already told her the exclusive party she would be attending and how he's rejected multiple other invitations. Then he'd muttered something about not understanding why on earth anyone would want Johanna around them and stormed off in one of his famous huffs.

She stood there, the lights blinding her as much as her confusion, and it wasn't until the man was right in front of her she realized he was there. He had approached so quietly but not gracefully, more like a snake than anything else Johanna could name. His grey eyes took in every inch of her, but not in an approving way more like he was sizing her up, examining her strengths against his own. Much like that of a hunter sizing up its prey.

Johanna tried to keep her eyes focused on his but she wasn't sure she achieved anything by doing so; he could probably just see the fear in her eyes rather than the fake strength she was hoping to achieve. Johanna kept her back straight, her hands were in loose fists at her side, hoping that somehow he'd think of her as a threat but nothing about her seemed to trouble him, whereas everything about him bothered her.

"Congratulations Miss. Mason, it would appear the odds were indeed in your favor," he spoke and his voice reminded her of the frost in the arena, of the cold harsh surroundings she'd had to endure to survive. She had a feeling he would be very like the arena in that sense, forcing her to endure the worst of him and driving her to fight for her survival.

"Indeed it would," her voice reminded surprising smooth, even though it felt like her insides were falling apart. He placed the delicate crown on her head, it felt heavier than it looked and Johanna wondered for a second if it was simply her imagination.

And then she sees it. The flicker in his eyes that let's her know he would rather had anyone else here now; rather have Silk or Cathella or Orson so long as it wasn't the one who'd fooled him. The one who'd fooled all of the Capitol and most of the Districts. The one he should've killed when he'd had the chance.

Either way it was too late to run now. The large wooden door, mahogany Johanna believed it was, swung open into an expensive looking office. The walls were lined with more books than Johanna had ever thought existed and the desk had a large chairs situated on either side of it. Only one of the chairs was already occupied.

"Thank you Effie that will be all," President Snow indicated to the woman and her and her ridiculous pink hair were gone in moments. She closed the door behind her leaving Johanna and him alone. "Please sit, don't worry I won't bite," his words should have been reassuring but they created a new nagging in the back of Johanna's mind.

"It's not your teeth I'm worried about," she informed him, sitting in the chair. It was very impressive looking but it couldn't compare to the high backed, high seated chair the President was sitting in. Another power play she noted.

"You're very clever aren't you Miss. Mason. Or at least you'd like to think you are," he raised his eyebrows at her, challenging her to make a response.

"I don't think I need to prove my intelligence to you, that's not what you want to talk to me about. We could sit here all night with you quizzing me on things I will never be able to answer; about our nations past, about our possible future, about the other Districts I have never seen and you could walk away with your head held high knowing that you outsmarted me. But that wouldn't satisfy you and I can only assume the reason you've asked me here is to outsmart me in a way that will."

He took a moment to really look at the girl then. The one he had underestimated right from the start. As soon as she fainted in the Reaping he knew she was a goner, or at least had thought as much. Sure District Seven had a few more vicious contenders but they were spotted early on and even then they rarely made it to the top 5 in the Games. But this one was different. This one knew how the Games worked, knew her only hope in surviving was not to become a contender until it mattered, until the shock of her skills would become her contenders greatest weakness as much as it was her greatest strength. He admired her in a way that he had only ever admired one other tribute. And she would meet the same fate he had.

"I have not brought you here to outsmart you Miss Mason, simply to try and understand," his voice was smooth, too smooth.

"And what exactly is it you feel the need to understand so badly?"

"What made you lie?"

"Lie about what exactly?"

"Obviously you knew you could throw an axe and knives. That wasn't something that just happened in the arena. Why lie about such a skill when you knew it would ruin your chances of sponsors?"

"I never lied. Nobody specifically asked me and I didn't feel like talking about it."

"Well I suggest you start talking about it now, or we shall find ways to make you feel more talkative and I can guarantee that if we do, you'll wish you spoke now."

"And what methods are these?"

"Well you see I don't feel like talking about them. Now back to you Miss Mason, and your explanation of why you felt you couldn't trust us with your little secrets."

"I couldn't trust the other tributes. If they knew my skills then they knew what to keep from me, if they thought I was weak they couldn't do that."

"So you did it as a form of protection?"

"I guess that's one way of putting it."

"And another way would be?"

"It was the only weapon I was guaranteed to have. Knowledge is power after all and knowing more about myself than they did was my only way of having power."

"Well in that case I hope you have other ways to get power over the people you have upset Miss Mason."

"What people?"

"Why the people who bet on your opponents, the one's who were the logical choices to bet on based on the information they were provided with. The knowledge that you were a tiny girl who was unlikely to make it past the bloodbath. I hope you have a plan on how to deal with them."

"Are you implying someone would try and kill the victor of the hunger games? It seems like a fairly ridiculous idea."

"Oh no they won't try and take your life."

"What more could they possibly take?"

"You'd be amazed at what you have to lose Miss Mason."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not directly."

"In that case let me remind you that you underestimated what I'm capable of once President Snow, I wouldn't recommend you do it again," and with that she gave him a moment to respond, which he didn't take. She met his gaze, trying to understand the swirls of hatred and deception in them but there was too much to pin a single piece of hatred on her. It was mixed in with the hatred of many other things, which she couldn't name, didn't want to. So she left closing the large door behind her.

A rather drunken Addie had informed her that Blight should be here. She needed to talk to someone who could explain her meeting with President Snow; she needed to know if she'd been the only one. Blight had never mentioned it before and she wanted answers now. She knew she could of stayed at the party, there was certainly enough victors milling about the place but the only one she had really spoken to had been Finnick and she really wasn't in the mood for him right now.

She hit the number "12" on the elevator button panel and waited as the elevator sped smoothly upwards. Even though the journey was quick she couldn't help but wish it were faster. Upon reaching the desired floor she stormed out of the elevator and threw the door to the apartment open.

"Hey who invited a stripper?" Johanna didn't even have to put too much thought into throwing the pillow at a drunken Woof.

"You wish," she growled, looking at the two other confused faces staring at her. She couldn't name either of them but she knew one of them had to be Haymitch, the infamous only surviving victor from District 12. "I'm here for Blight," she informed them, hoping to get a little more of a reaction than simply making them look more confused than before.

"I'll get him," one of the pair Johanna didn't recognize headed in the direction of a bedroom. She could only assume he'd either passed out or was throwing up somewhere. Great.

"Woof go help Seeder. He'll need it," the other one spoke. So he had to be Haymitch. She stared at him. He didn't look overly like someone from district twelve. Generally they had dark hair with grey eyes or blonde hair and blue eyes, whereas he was a mixture of the two with his dirty blonde hair and steely grey eyes. "Something bothering you sweetheart?"

"You mean besides the fact people keep calling me sweetheart?" Johanna asked, if she was going to talk to anyone about what was bothering her it wasn't going to be this drunken mess of a human.

"Alright snap at people now but soon you'll realize we're all you have left."

"What drunken idiots to babysit?" he laughed a little at that.

"Soon we'll be the least of your problems."

"You're the least of my problems right now. Amazingly I do have more to worry about right now than your blood to alcohol ratio."

"Easy tiger who pissed you off?" Johanna just sighed and ran her hand through her hair, she still wasn't used to its short length. It seemed like enough of a reply for Haymitch. "Ah, post-Games life getting you down sweetheart?"

"None of your business sugar-pie," she snarled at him, picking up a glass of the amber liquid he'd been drinking and swirling it thoughtfully around the glass. "Will this make me throw up?" she asked suddenly, realizing how much like a child she sounded.

"Not that amount," he looked at her like he was calculating something. Usually it would bug her but she just quickly downed the contents of the glass before he could say anything else. The liquid burned her throat and left a strange tingling sensation on her taste buds. She resisted the temptation to cough. Haymitch poured himself another glass and held up the bottle, offering to refill hers as well; she held it out for him.

He lifted the glass up to her and she felt inclined to mirror the action, like it was some sort of mark of respect. They repeated this a few more times and eventually Johanna felt light-headed, she wasn't used to the strength of alcohol or the effect's it would have on her. Making her want to say every thought that came into her head, making the room feel just a little lopsided and making her fall almost gracefully into the seat across from Haymitch. They sat in silence, bonding over the drinks that would drown out the unspoken memories.

Blight was eventually dragged through to the living room, draped over the two larger men. Johanna stood then, taking a moment to remember how to put one foot in front of the other before taking him from them and wrapping an arm around his waist, ignoring the stench of vomit as best she could.

As she headed out the door, after muttering thanks to Woof and Seeder, she heard Haymitch calling after her, as if he suddenly remembered who she was. "Welcome to the Capitol sweetheart, where the innocent come to die, the guilty come to roll in sin and power is the real currency."

**Author's Note: So meeting with President Snow! Didn't end too well for Johanna. Also first meeting with Haymitch because much as him and Johanna don't seem to have much of a relationship in the books I think it's an interesting comparison to make between the two: Haymitch lost everything and gave up, Johanna lost everything and it made her fight back. So I figured I should bring him into it at some point and now seemed as good a time as any!**

**Also I have a massive favor to ask of you guys, if you could take two minutes and go onto ****Wisteria22's profile and vote for "Malaya Finaca (D3)" in her poll. It would mean a lot to me.**

**Anyways next time will either be one last day in the Capitol or her reunion with Jason and her dad in District Seven… it is undecided yet and anything else you guys want to happen in the Capitol seriously review now cause I am kind of twitching to continue writing now :D**

**-R**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty-Two

God did her head hurt. Not in a way she was used to though, not like she had been bashed around the head one too many times, more like something was inside her head, desperately struggling to get out. She crumpled into a ball, trying to drown out the shrieking voices of the prep team with a low moan.

"Oh you are alive! Thank goodness. It would be a shame to survive the Games just to drop dead during your own celebrations now wouldn't it?" one of them pointed out a little too happily. Johanna wondered for a moment if that would be such a bad idea, at least then she'd be free from President Snow and his evil glares, Finnick and his charming one, Haymitch and his dead eyes.

"I feel like death," she mumbled into the pillow. Jamming her eyes firmly shut before the prep team literally pulled her out of the bed feet first. She landed with a thud on the floor looking up at them all and it was only then that she remembered something very important through the haze in her mind. "I need Blight!" she yelled, suddenly very capable of springing to her feet and exiting the room. The prep team stayed in place, out of respect or shock she was unsure.

She pounded her fists loudly on the door and smiled a little as Blights stream of unattractive words greeted her. At least she wasn't the only one with a sore head. She opened the door only as much as necessary but still had to duck as a lamp flew at her from across the room. "Is that how you greet all your guests?" she asked sarcastically, avoiding the remnants of shattered glass as she headed over to the bed.

"Only the ones who are bloody stupid enough to call at this time in the morning," he yelled, although he was still slurring his words slightly. Johanna rolled her eyes and perched herself at the end of the bed, slapping his feet as he tried to kick her off.

"Have you ever had a meeting with President Snow?" she figured it was best to get it out the way, before he passed out again.

"No, he never wants to talk to people, likes his own company too much."

Johanna left him to sleep at that point before heading back to her room, to be at the mercy of the prep team.

"No I don't know his last name just make sure you find him and that he's alright," Blight hissed into the phone before slamming it down. He turned and looked at her then, she looked older than when he'd first laid eyes on her. Her hair being shorter made her cheekbones appear more angular before and allowed a better view of her strong yet somehow feminine jawline; her body, unaltered by the Capitol had still filled out more due to her better eating; but it was her eyes that spoke the most. The eyes that had once danced with fire now shone with an icy gleam. "You look lovely," he noted, he wasn't surprised; it was hard to make her look anything but lovely.

She rolled her eyes at him, not because she didn't appreciate the compliment but because she knew he was only saying it out of politeness. "Thanks grand pa," she replied, smiling happily.

"Didn't I warn you about making old-man jokes to me after the games?" he reminded her, but he was glad that she was more herself now that she had been before the Games.

"Yes but you also said you'd cut my hair off if I did and I think I beat you to the punch old man," she said, mocking Blight was an excellent distraction from the growing weight in her chest.

"I'm going to tell Prima to start making those dresses tighter, maybe cutting off your oxygen supply for a while will teach you to respect your elders," he wandered off then and Johanna wished there was someway she could find out who he'd been talking to on the phone.

The interview had been tiresome. Caesar had struggled to get a non-sarcastic comment from Johanna about just about everything under the sun. Blight had warned her multiple times about her behavior and how it would end badly so eventually, more out of getting fed up with Blight's whining than anything else, she'd started answering his questions properly.

"Interview starts soon!" Addie shouted happily, Johanna was pretty sure he was still drunk. He hadn't insulted her in a good five minutes, which made the thought more of a certainty.

"I think I'll give it a miss," Johanna said shrugging on a leather jacket. She had never owned anything leather before but there was something about the material that felt safe and warm. She'd asked Prima if she'd pick one out for her father and Jason as well and she'd run off happily with her new project.

"What? But you might actually look presentable for once!" Addie yelped. He was like a puppy. A vicious one that you couldn't kick because at the end of the day it was still a puppy, no matter how brutal his mouth was.

"But I already know what's going to happen. Kind of takes the fun out of it don't you think?" she replied heading out the apartment door not waiting for his reply. She headed into the elevator and was about to hit the "G" button that would lead her into the heart of the Capitol, where she could wander and hope no one would recognize her, but with the interview being broadcast to all the major screens in the city it was unlikely. So instead "R" seemed like a reassuring letter.

The elevator doors opened and Johanna welcomed the cool breeze for a moment before zipping up her jacket. The Capitol was almost beautiful from up here; with it's shimmering buildings that reflected the lights perfectly, casting a glow around everything it touched. She inhaled the air and allowed it to send shivers through her chest; it felt relaxing in a strange way, like it was extinguishing some fire she hadn't realized had been there.

"Thought you'd be inside watching your interview Mason," the voice broke her sense of relief, well not so much broke as shattered the illusion of it.

"What do you want Odair?" she asked, sighing slightly as she realized her attempts to be alone here would probably never end well.

"To know what you're doing in my special place," he informed her, not once removing his gaze from her. He knew how unstable some of the victors could be after their Games, he had to be 100% sure she wouldn't be a repeat of them.

"Please you wish I was in your special place," she muttered, heading over to the edge of the rooftop. He made a muffled sound, she guessed it was a laugh but she couldn't be bothered debating if it was anything else. Tomorrow she'd be home; she'd be safe.

"My, my aren't we modest?" he mocked, walking over to join her and sitting on the edge of the roof, his muscled legs hanging casually in the nothingness.

"You're awfully cocky for someone who's at extreme risk of being pushed off the side of a building," she pointed out, she remained standing.

"Nah, they have force fields around this place, push me off and I'll just bounce right back up again."

"Really? How much would you bet on that?"

"Hmm, my perfectly pretty face," he looked up at her, eyelashes fluttering rapidly over his shining pine green eyes. Johanna could tell he wasn't used to the reaction of a girl sighing and rolling her eyes at him.

"Look I came up here for peace and quiet and you're ruining both of those things," she glared at him and turned to walk away.

"Wait," he scrambled to his feet. He was lucky he was pretty Johanna thought, otherwise there was no way anyone would have sponsored him through the Games with balance like that. Johanna turned to him, not really sure why she did. "Look you're the first person from at outlying district to win since I have, and to be honest I'm sick of Careers-"

"You are a Career."

"And you're not? I saw the way you used those weapons to rip through kids like any Career would. Look we're both in a crappy situation of being surrounded by people who are brutal killers, can't you at least give me a chance?"

"What the same way we gave those kids a chance? Look you seem to fit into this "crappy situation" pretty well so if you don't mind I'm just going to go to bed."

"Want some company?" whatever Johanna had been expecting it wasn't that. She looked at him then, looked past the charmingly lopsided smile, the sparkling eyes that had been the reason he'd survived against the odds and couldn't help but feel a pang of pity.

"Look I can't, you just, won't get it," Johanna sighed and headed back to the elevator. Finnick was mere steps behind her.

"At least give me a chance to. I'm more than just a pretty face you know," and then the smile was gone, there was just someone who needed a friend. Johanna hated the fact she felt like she couldn't just walk away, like some greater force was pulling her towards him, wanted her to stay with him, make him understand.

"My problem is you have no idea who I am do you?" she yelled, suddenly aware how loud her voice could go. She had never really yelled at any one, finding quiet anger to be more threatening but something about this moment seemed to fit yelling.

"You're Johanna Mason, victor of the 68th Hung-"

"No! No I'm not just that and if you had any idea about anything you'd remember me! Do you know what I want to do now? I want to go and re-watch the reaping's from this year and act like all those kids, yes _kids, _are still alive. Like none of that crap even happened. Like if I watch it enough somehow their lives are still going to go on. Like maybe, just maybe, they'll somehow be able to come out of the screen and I can get to know Orson the way I should've before he died, or joke around with Cathella like we should be now heck I'd even have tea and crumpets with Silk right now if it would bring the rest of them back! But it won't! And that is why I don't want to deal with you."

"Don't you think that's just a smidge unfair? How can you even begin to act like I didn't care about the other's in my Games?"

"Does the name Osmium Ross mean anything to you?"

"Not particularly what does that have to do with anything?"

"That's the name of the boy who was actually reaped for District One, before Veyron volunteered. That's how I know you should remember me and don't."

"I still don't get what this has to do with anything."

"Because I should've died Finnick! Don't you remember at all?"

That was when everything clicked into place in his mind. He remembered the scared girl from Seven, the one with blue eyes he'd been glad he'd never had to watch the life drain out of, with the tiny figure he was glad he would never have to break.

"That girl…" he didn't have to finish the sentence for her to understand that he finally got it. He saw a flash of something in her eyes; guilt, worry, anger, relief?

"Yes," she whispered, suddenly all anger gone from her as she realized it was all she'd wanted to say to someone for so long.

"Johanna I… I never thought. I mean you changed. I changed. Hell everything changed."

"And yet I'm alive and she's not. She's never coming back and it's my fault. I've done to so many people what I watched Jason go through. I've done that to them."

"Jason?"

"My friend. Sophia was his sister. She volunteered for me and when she died we took him in. He hated me at first, wouldn't make eye contact let alone speak with me. And then one day he just kinda broke out of it. I don't know what happened he just came back from school and asked if I wanted to go to the woods with him. I said yes just because I wanted to pay him back, like by somehow going with him I could repay Sophia. Not that I ever could though. But slowly he got better and learned to forgive, and I learned how to be forgiven. And then this, now I feel like everything I ever did was all for nothing, like he'll never be able to forgive me now knowing the pain I've caused so many families. I mean I can't forgive myself, how can I ask him to?"

"Because at the end of the day it was you or them. And it's awful to put a divide between you like that but it's how it had to be, because the Capitol is never going to change. This is how it had to be if there was any hope of you surviving. Don't you think he'd rather have you back than to of lost both you and his sister to the Games?"

"He'd rather neither of us were even in the Games."

"Well given that that's not an option?"

"I hate you being right you know."

"I figured you might."

"Next time I'm pushing you over that ledge," she muttered threateningly, but she couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on her face.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," and then he held her and ignored the fact he could feel his shirt dampening as she let her tears soak into it. He stroked her hair, and was oddly surprised at the softness of it. Then again, a lot about Johanna seemed to be softer than it first appeared.

**Author's Note: And now, they may be friends. Sorry for the lack of an interesting interview but I was very uninspired for it whereas I have been itching to write this for a while. Which now means next chapter is her reunion with Jason, her dad and the rest of District Seven! **

**Also I would like to apologize for anyone who was unable to read for a while cause I changed the rating, I had a moment of panic and freaked out but it is back to being a T-rating again so hopefully you can all read it again!**

**Also are you people who have subscribed actually still reading? I mean besides Anla'shok and FireBreadandSnares y'all ain't giving me much feedback here :( If you could just let me know that you're still reading I'd be very happy… like may actually attempt a happy dance around my bedroom and risk falling over everything that has fallen everywhere! **

**-R**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

"How you holding up champ?" Blights voice broke Johanna's trace. She had been staring out of the window since they left the Capitol, seeming to absorb the scenery but he knew her mind was occupied with other things.

"I'd be better if you'd quit trying to give me a nickname," she muttered, her gaze remaining fixed on the hills that made up part of Seven. They had broken through the border only moments ago and with home so close Johanna didn't know what to feel. Mostly she was relieved, she was free from the Capitol and she was home. She could laugh with her dad about his awful cooking attempts, go hunting with Jason maybe even spend an afternoon or two with Blight and Holt. However there was something strange going on in her stomach, it was similar to what she'd felt before meeting President Snow but she couldn't work out why. The man was miles away, so what was her body playing at?

"Aww but where's the fun in that Princess?" he teased.

"Any name but that," she snapped, she looked at him sharply and from his expression she knew he got the message. There was a line there to do with that name. Only Jason could call her that and live.

"Want a drink," he offered, he was used to dealing with the likes of Haymitch, where a stiff drink would solve even the darkest of problems. This was new territory for him and with someone like Johanna treading carefully was vital.

"Will it help?" she whispered, her breath steaming up the window for a moment. Her hands gripped onto each other tightly, her knuckles turning white with the pressure.

"Now? Yes. In the long run, not so much," he answered truthfully. If she was heading down that path she at least had to know what she was getting into. He wasn't exactly handing her morphine, just an easy way to deal with the pain for now until she worked something else out. Although that was the same lie he'd told himself all those years ago and look how well that had turned out.

She nodded before asking, "Ok then. What do you recommend?"

"I'll fix you up something," and he left her alone with her thoughts once again.

It was strange, her whole time in the Capitol and she'd wished for peace and quiet and now she had it she wasn't really sure what to do with it. Thinking? It seemed like an evil that needed to be avoided, anytime she tried all that stirred in her mind were corpses covered in blood, questions she wasn't ready to answer, ones she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to answer. So instead she busied her mind with landscapes watching how the hills rolled lazily over the land and the clouds passed carefree through the sky. Blight returned and placed the glass in front of her. She took in the brown liquid, the way it was clear enough to see through, the way the light bounced off the surface of it and created funny patterns on the wall.

Blight held up his glass to her in the same way Haymitch had only a few nights before. "What does that mean?" she asked, after mirroring the action once again.

"No one really knows. We think it was a way of saying 'enjoy your drink' in the old times, but no one really remembers anymore," he explained, before drinking himself. He didn't really like the taste of alcohol, however he'd now had it so often it had started losing the taste.

"I guess no one really remembers anything form before the dark days anymore then?" she asked, still swirling the liquid curiously around the glass.

"If they do, they're not speaking up about it anyway."

"Do you think there's other places?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean other places besides Panem. Or is Panem all there is to this God-forsaken world?"

"I dunno. I know Panem is placed somewhere that used to be called North America though."

"Which means there's a South right?"

"Maybe. Johanna what are you getting at here?"

"I just, I never thought about these things before. If there was other parts to our world out there that we never even thought about because we're all so wrapped up in these stupid Games. We're either too scared of them to think about anything else but them or too stupid to even begin to fathom the idea of it."

"So why do you want to know? Even if there is something else out there we'll never find out. You'd never make it far enough past the border to find out and even then if you did make it past the border you could be heading into something more dangerous than we could imagine."

"Ok now I'm lost. More dangerous than we could imagine?"

"If there are other people out there, people outside of Panem who know about us then why haven't they made contact?"

"Because they're scared of Snow? And what he could do?"

"No if there are people out there, and they haven't contacted us, I reckon it's because they have something far worse to worry about than the Hunger Games."

The train pulled slowly into the station. The cameras were raised before she even got off the train. Jason sighed and put his hands in his pockets. He just wanted to grab her and run. Run away from the flashing cameras and the nosey faces and have the private reunion he so desperately wanted with her. Where he could get an explanation about what had happened. Could make sure it was still his Johanna that was being returned to him. And above everything else get a chance to explain why he'd kissed her before she left.

He'd practiced the speech a hundred times since she'd left, partially because it was a way of distracting himself from watching the Games. But he needed it to be perfect; and there was no way it was going to be perfect here.

There she was, her hair shorter, her body seeming more like a woman's now than it had been before and yet her eyes stayed the same. Looking at him and making him feel like she was looking into his soul, like she could see every thought he was having.

And then she was running at him, throwing her arms around his neck before he could've done anything to protest. His arms were around her in a second, holding her like he'd never let the Capitol take her again. She was his and he would make sure she stayed there. He pulled her closer and she seemed to fit into him perfectly, like they were two pieces of a puzzle that was missing so many other pieces but it was ok because they were together. Her warm breath tickled at the base of his neck and he ran one hand through her hair, fighting back any emotion he was feeling from being revealed on his face as the cameras swarmed around the two of them. The Capitol had taken too much already they wouldn't take his love for her and make it their own. It was theirs, not to be tainted by distasteful headlines or soppy remarks in passing conversation.

When the hug finally ended he kept her close and delicately placed a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled slightly as the blush appeared in her cheeks. "So," he murmured awkwardly, after taking a few too many moments just to really look at her face. Even though she still looked young her eyes were now troubled far beyond her years.

"So," she replied, still blushing slightly. If he didn't know better he would say she was possibly becoming more flustered. "Where's dad?" he tried not to be disappointed by the question. Of course she wanted to see him, it had been just the two of them for 12 years of her life, the man had raised her. But he couldn't stop the slight pang in his chest feeling like he wasn't enough for her. Even though it was ridiculous.

"They needed extra men out in the forest today. Only one of us was allowed to stay behind to see you. Every other guy in town is out there now," he explained. The argument that had taken place between himself and Arden the night before about who should go to greet her wasn't important. Jason still felt guilty about giving in to the mans request but they'd all be back in the Victor's Village soon, it was fine, she was safe here.

She couldn't think of anyway to respond, so she simply pulled him back into a hug, allowing her defenses to fall slightly as a few tears escaped her.

"Just promise me one thing now you're back?" Jason whispered into her hair. She'd missed how his breath sent a wave of warmth throughout her that automatically made her feel safe and loved.

"What's that?" she whispered, not removing her head from where it was tucked under his chin, hoping her breath dancing along his skin had the same effect on him.

"Don't try and give me a haircut," he teased and braced himself for the slap that never came. Instead he felt her body shake slightly in laughter and he didn't care that the cameras were still on them, there was no one else there but her. She was all he needed and he was happy that way. He would always be more than happy with her next to him.

And they stayed like that, absorbed in each other's affection. Neither really sure how to voice the emotions that were going through them. Neither of them having to. There didn't seem to be words suitable for the situation, words that said 'I'm glad those other kids are dead because it means we have each other'.

"Fire! There's a fire in the forest!" the mans screams broke the happy environment of the reunion. Suddenly the station was a mess of people running to fetch water to help, to collect stretchers to carry the wounded, of cries for husbands and fathers and sons who were in the forest.

"Which section sir?" asked a first aider, as he checked the man for any obvious signs of medical panic.

"Section eight," he informed him, still attempting to regain his breath. Sure enough the portion of sky that wasn't taken up by cloud had been lightly dusted with smoke.

"Where was dad?" Johanna asked, terror rushing through her veins where relief had been only moments before. But Jason didn't need to answer, the way his body had stiffened and his face had tensed told her everything she needed to know.

She took off at full speed, weaving through less skilled runners until she was one of the first heading into the forest. She knew roughly where section eight was, it was a necessary part of their schooling to know the different sections and what trees grew where, but finding it while her mind was spinning so much was going to be a problem.

"Dad!" she yelled into the forest. People were running both ways now. Desperate lumbers trying to make their way to safety collided with those running into the blaze to help. "Dad!" she screamed, the desperation clear in her voice.

She pushed past bodies heading the opposite way, she couldn't see him anywhere and her skin was warming up with the threat of flames drawing closer. She continued screaming as she ran, but the smoke had begun intertwining with the air, confusing her lungs as they drew in less and less oxygen with each breath. She was coughing but she couldn't go back. She couldn't shake the feeling that the worst had happened, that her father was still in there somewhere and he needed her.

The fire was surrounding her now, engulfing the trees, rising up to the tallest branches just to prove that it could. The number of people running from the forest became fewer and fewer until it was only the screams of those who were burning or trapped that kept her company. She collapsed on the ground, gripping onto the burning earth with her hands. It couldn't end here. It couldn't be over. Her dad had to have made it out by now surely.

As she collapsed fully onto the ground coughing and spluttering she could of sworn she heard an all too familiar voice calling to her before everything turned black.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty-Four

"What are we going to do?" Jason whispered, as he shut the door as quietly as he could behind him. He turned to fully face the man and wasn't sure what to say to him. Sure he was technically the reason Johanna was alive but Jason refused to allow him to take more credit that himself; he'd taught her how to win, even if she hadn't done exactly as he'd asked.

"I was hoping you'd have some idea. You know her better than me after all," Blight replied, leaning against a wall as he spoke. He scrunched his hair up in his hands and tried to convince himself there was nothing he could've done. He couldn't have tamed her if he'd tried.

"Well I'm not sure how to tell her exactly what she's gotten herself in for here, you must have some experience of doing that right?" Jason asked desperately, but he already knew the answer. Blight was the most recent victor; he'd never had to warn anyone what life after the Games was like before. Blight simply looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Well we have to tell her something. Something about how she's expected to behave now otherwise she's going to carry on on this rampage of pissing people off."

"I know, I know, I just, might need some time to think about how to tell her. Plus she's going to need time after today…" he let his sentence trail off. No more needed to be said on the matter of the fire. "How you holding up with it all?" he asked instead. Clearly he was going through some things but Blight was never really that great a talker. It was times like this he wished Holt was more his old self, he would be better at making the guy feel better, maybe even get him to smile.

"I'll manage," Jason replied, running a hand through his hair. It felt softer than usual since he'd managed to use a proper shower. He wasn't really in the mood to share stories with Blight, he was sure the man had a few tragic tales of his own. "Anything I should do for when she wakes up?"

"Just, be there. Maybe have some food and water and stuff ready as well," the man recommended, and took that as his cue to leave he shrugged into his jacket and headed back to his own home.

Johanna woke up coughing and spluttering, she couldn't remove the feeling that her lungs were some how still dusted with the black smoke.

"Johanna?" the voice groaned in the darkness. She looked over to find Jason curled up on the floor with a thin blanket over him and his jacket scrunched up to make a pillow. As soon as he realized she was actually awake he shuffled himself over and indicated to the water on the nightstand. She gulped it down, finishing the glass in seconds. "How you feeling?"

"Fine. Where's dad?" she asked, desperately searching the room until it became clear he wasn't there. He was probably in some other room of the house recovering on his own. Some medical person nearby to make sure he was all right when he woke up.

Jason sighed heavily, pulling himself up onto the double bed with her. She moved herself over to the other side of the bed and tried to get some hint of the expression on his face, it was difficult when the only thing lighting the room was the thin sliver of moonlight that had made it's way in through the gap in the curtains.

"Johanna, you're dad," Jason didn't know how to phrase the next few words. Was there any way to shape the words that would lead to her breaking down? He doubted it. "He, won't be coming back Johanna," he stumbled over the words. Crap, why was he so awful at this.

Of course he expected what was coming next. She screamed, and threw herself out of the bed, tripping over one of the many covers and crawled into the hall where she forced herself up and into the kitchen where he heard the smashing of plates, cups, mugs and anything else she could throw. The screaming continued and he sat with his head in his hands wishing he could make it stop. But he knew he couldn't, he knew there was only one person who could make the screaming stop and that person was never coming back.

After a few minutes he got out of the bed and went to her in the kitchen. She sat there, her own blood pooling in her hand where one of the broken edges had sliced through the skin. The blood was smeared on her face where she'd tried to wipe the tears away, making her look more savage than she was. She looked just as broken as the crockery around her.

Jason moved forward and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her shaking body, running his hand repeatedly through her hair as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest. He kept repeating things like "I know," and "It'll be fine," all the while knowing how hollow the words were.

Johanna continued to cry for hours. Her head was pounding with the pressure it was putting on her brain, the will to stop fighting with the fact her world had just basically been ripped apart in front of her. Half of what she fought so hard for snatched away from her. But every time she thought she had control over herself, thought she could make the pain stop, she would breathe and then the feeling of something scuttling up her throat would appear and she'd open her mouth to let whatever it was out just to realize it was another scream. She couldn't take it. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when she stopped screaming hysterically and instead started letting the tears fall silently onto Jason. She tried to hold onto him but her hands seemed unable to respond to the command and so she allowed herself to be held. Allowed herself to lose control of herself and for just one night she allowed Jason to see her as she really was: broken.

**Author's Note: So I am evil I know. But on the other hand I have given you two chapters. I do apologize for not uploading them as soon as I wrote them but I have spent the weekend without internet... which made me sad for many reasons but for some reason being unable to upload to fanfic was one of the main reasons for my sadness. Anyway I have bad news in the sense that I am moving into my new flat in a few days (yay lots of decorating!) however once again there is a lack of internet (again with my sadness) which means I'll only be able to update when I can bear to face the harsh Scottish climate to get to the campus library with free wi-fi (huzzah for campus). So I will try and upload again tomorrow but it is my designated packing day and the odds are slim as my laptop will be of top priority packing so will get packed first so I know I won't forget it. However I will be writing constantly knowing me so as soon as I get to campus there will be many chapters all at once to make up for it :) which also means next time I come online I would love it if the review level had gotten to seventy (aiming high I know but it would seriously make me smile!). Until next time guys keep reading :)**

**-R**


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Five

Johanna sat looking over the deep valley. It was beautiful at the moment. She'd passed through the cloud level so instead of seeing the valley floor she saw the fluffy white clouds glazing through the dips in the mountains, pouring themselves into even the tiniest spaces. Johanna wished she could join them, could float effortlessly over the Districts and be free from this life she'd cursed herself with.

The question she found herself facing was would she rather be dead? Would it have been better if she'd let Silk win? Clearly Silk knew what she was doing, could have been Snows little pet like he wanted and her dad and Jason would be safe. It could have just as easily been Jason that had gone into the forest that day. At first she thought it had nothing to do with her, it was just coincidence that the day she got back was the day it had happened. But Snow quickly corrected that thought.

Johanna sat in the living room; she'd been there all day. It didn't seem like a good idea to move. Her muscles ached and her joints were stiff. Jason sat on the opposite couch, aimlessly flicking through channels so the projector screen buzzed with activity. She was glad he was here really, but she didn't know what to say to him, what to do, if there was any way she was meant to react to the situation. She shivered slightly as a breeze seemed to wrap itself around her.

"You cold?" Jason asked, instantly aware of the tiny movement. Then she realized he hadn't been watching the screen at all. It was for her comfort he had pretended to while he sat and watched her from the corner of his eye. She shook her head as the breeze left her once again. "Johanna do you want to eat? You haven't eaten all day and Blight's dropped off more food." Once again she shook her head as a reply, which made Jason sigh as he lifted himself off the couch, and headed to the kitchen.

He made himself a light sandwich and this time he sat next to her on the couch, hoping to awaken her appetite with the sight of food so close. He knew it was unlikely, she didn't eat much at the best of times and current situations would hardly have made it any better.

They didn't say anything, simply sat and watched one of the awful Capitol dramas that had been postponed during the games. Well their eyes watched as their minds wandered. Both of them thought of Johanna's fourteenth birthday, how things had been so much simpler then. How their lives seemed written for them, simple almost. Like if they just stayed on the path they were on things would have worked out. But of course the Capitol had its way of changing things.

The phone interrupted their thoughts. Jason leapt off the couch to get it.

"Hello," he mumbled into the phone. Johanna turned her head slowly and watched his body noticeably tense as the person on the other end replied. He walked over slowly and handed the phone to Johanna. She accepted it and instantly realized why he had tensed.

"Hello Johanna," the voice of President Snow purred down the phone. His voice alone made Johanna's stomach tense and made her head fill with unwelcome thoughts. What was his game?

"President Snow," she replied curtly, her voice came out muffled and strained as she'd managed to avoid speaking all day.

"I couldn't help but notice the travesty that befell you on your return home. I just wanted to give you my sincerest apologies, it seems like your father was a good man," he explained. Something about his voice made Johanna want to throw the phone and run to a place where this man could never find her again, not that it would be a successful plan but it was something. He was up to something.

"Thank you he was," she replied, meeting Jason's confused gaze with her own one.

"It's just such a shame isn't it, how some silly little people underestimate what fire's are capable of," and with that he waited. Waited for Johanna to make some remark but he waited for something that never came. When he realized this he placed down the receiver and she could sense his silent joy from the other end of the line. Johanna inhaled sharply. His word choice not lost on her. Underestimated. The word held a dark unspoken hatred between the enemies that meant he'd clearly chosen _that _word on purpose. And he'd clearly been responsible for the fire.

Johanna let the phone fall onto the soft cushions and curled her legs up to her chest before the sobbing began again. Jason automatically wrapped her arms around her and pulled her against him. She was too tired and too far-gone to resist his embrace. He ran his hands through her hair and began the soothing process he tried last night, trying to tell her it was all right, it was fine, they could make it; even though he really had no idea if it was true or not.

"It was him," was all she managed to say. It was enough for Jason to understand. Snow had started the fire to get back at Johanna for something. What exactly he couldn't be sure but from the sounds of it Snow had definitely been out to get her, well from how Blight had made it sound anyway. He pulled her closer then knowing what the next few months would be like. She would blame herself, refuse to hear any different from anyone until she learned to accept there really was nothing she could have done differently. She hadn't done anything wrong specifically, just played their game, but made her own rules.

Johanna tried to focus on something else, anything else but the crushing feeling in her chest wouldn't leave. She felt sick, physically sick by what had happened. Could Snow really have done that? Just to get back at her. Killed of dozens of lumberjacks and ruined half of a section just to get back at her? The man was ruthless but surely, surely he wouldn't go that far. It seemed too crazy but then the feeling wouldn't leave her, he'd sounded so organized on the phone. As if he'd been planning the moment ever since she left his office that lifetime ago.

She tried to pay attention to Jason's chest rising steadily under her head and realized it could have just as easily been him. Jason could have been in that forest too, or rather than her father. Did she want to think about that? Who she would have rather had in the forest that day? She couldn't answer it, couldn't bear to think about it.

No. She let his hand tug at her hair lightly as it made it's way through the strands, reassuring her he was still there, letting her know he wasn't leaving. That there was nothing Snow could do that would willingly make him leave her. Nothing he could do to tear them apart.

Then she realized it was probably another part of his twisted plan. That she'd blame Jason so much for her father's death she'd push him away as well and be left with only the drunken Blight and demented Holt for company. Well he was going to be disappointed.

When the strength returned to her she moved her head up from on his chest so it nestled against his neck and wrapped her arms around him as best she could manage, but she wasn't used to sitting this close to people so it proved a challenge.

"I won't let him hurt you," she promised kissing his neck once, the way Finnick had done to her, and let her breath linger at the base of his neck.

"The only way he can hurt me is by hurting you Johanna," Jason pointed out without thinking about it. Truth was he didn't need to think about it, he hated seeing her so broken when he knew she was so strong. Hated that Snow was so cowardice as to kill someone as loving and kind as Arden without a second thought because he couldn't think of another way to face Johanna. No, he needed to be stopped, that was all there was to it.

Johanna somehow curled herself further into him allowing his last sentence to fill her with warmth, just for a moment, before the cold found a way back under her skin and flooded through her once more.

**Author's Note: So I realize there's not much point putting too much of a note here as I'm uploading another chapter in a few moments anyway but just to make it clear Snow was very responsible for Arden's death. Exactly why he did it will be explained later on but yeah. Anyway guys please review as it makes me smile and I'm sorry it's been so long, moving is a lot more complicated than I'd originally thought! Also the Olympics have been ridiculously distracting!**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Six

The weeks that followed Arden's death grew warmer as the real summer began. Johanna stood in her too large kitchen washing one of her many knives she had acquired since her return; she didn't feel safe without at least one of them nearby these days. Even if she was just with Blight or Jason she still felt watched, like Snow could see every move she made. It was unnerving at the best of days but today was far worse. The nightmares were worse, Cathellas mangled corpse had chased her, demanding why she hadn't saved her. Why Johanna deserved life more than her when all Johanna had done since her victory was scare everyone, herself included. Then the corpse had turned into Jason asking why she hadn't played by the rules, why her needs were more important than everyone else's. It was far worse being haunted by the living she decided.

The shadows were growing darker. Not just the ones that surrounded her defeated eyes but also the ones that danced through the house, which followed her to the woods and into town. The shadows that were incapable of leaving her and her sanity alone for even a moment. She didn't know why she was more aware of them now than she had been before the games. Maybe it was the fact that their darkness held mystery, and she had grown tired of playing mystery-solving games; she had enough other games to play now. Then again perhaps it was that she was more aware of movements in general.

She gripped the handle of the knife tighter, before throwing it and lodging it into the wall at the other side of the room.

"Johanna it's me, Jason. You're safe," Jason paused at the door, watching as the girl who meant the world to him held the knife, ready to implant it in him if he said the wrong thing or moved the wrong way. Johanna could of laughed at the comment. Safe? Like she'd ever really known the meaning of the world.

As way of recognition she simply lowered the knife. She hated the look he got in his eyes whenever she had her moments. His golden eyes that had once looked at her with happiness and pride now danced with fear and loss. She wanted to find some way to let him know it was still her; she was still his Johanna. Still the girl he had taught to survive. Still the girl who could survive anything.

"Did you go for a walk today?" Jason asked, daring to step closer to her, now the knife was safely back in the sink. He hoped she had, she was always calmer after her walks. He never asked where she went; he knew she scrambled up the mountains that separated the different parts of the district. He didn't know if she was particularly looking for anything, or just walking and hoping to stumble upon something. He had offered to come with her one day, but she mumbled something and he'd gotten the hint pretty quickly.

"Yeah," she replied, wishing she knew what else to say. Wishing there was some way she could work out what she needed to say for him to look at her like he had before she'd left for the Games; with the passion that had made her fight to come home. "It was nice," she knew it wouldn't make much difference to the situation, but it was all she could offer him.

"That's good. How far did you go?" looking at the slightly red tinge on her usually pale arms he could tell she'd been out most of the day. She was getting better, spending less time outside and more time talking with Blight and him but it still felt like it would be a long road to recovery.

"I made it to a few peaks," she admitted. Really she'd made it up six, they were close together but each of them had its challenge to over come. She liked the feeling of achievement she got at the top. The walks were distracting, she had to focus on each placement of her feet to make sure the rocks beneath her didn't slip or become loose, had to keep her hands ready to scramble over the rocky surfaces and ready to catch her for the moments her gaze wandered from her decided path to the views.

It was difficult not to look at the views though; they were simply irresistible. To ignore them was definitely a crime. So little remained for Johanna to admire, the Capitol had taken the pride she'd once valued in herself, the freedom she had, the sparkle from Jason's eyes when he looked at her, but there was something so reassuring about knowing they could never touch that magnificence. That it could be her place, free from the Capitol. They couldn't reach her there.

The best moments for her were when she broke through the cloud layer. It rarely happened and the clouds had to be sitting pretty low but on the days it happened it felt amazing. To look down on the fluffy delicate layer that physically separated her from the rest of the District. It wasn't that she wanted to feel above the District, just wanted to get away from them, she needed her space, and her time to not pretend everything was ok, that nothing had changed when everything had. Time to admit to herself that she was more lost than she'd ever felt and she had no clue how she was meant to recover.

"That's good. Have you done much else today?" he hated talking to her like this. Knowing that one wrong word could push her over the edge and make her snap and run from him. He had chased her the first time it had happened but he'd learned quickly she needed to be alone when that happened.

"I cleaned a little," she replied. She knew the house was permanently immaculate. Johanna would do anything she could to distract herself. Given the recent cold days that limited the time she could go walking she had taken it upon herself to clean their house, Blight's house and occasionally Holts if she could deal with the inane chatter.

"Aww, look at you becoming a proper housewife," he joked. He knew it was a safe subject to joke about.

"In your dreams," Johanna smiled as she said it, but Jason could see every part of her tense. Dreams were one of her touchy subjects.

"Hey, hey Princess look at me," Jason crossed the kitchen and held her head in his hands, forcing her sea blue eyes to meet his own golden ones. He examined her, looking for any signs of problems; her pupils seemed a normal size, her jaw wasn't clenched, her hands were balled into fists though implying that she was trying to control herself. Suddenly he realized he had no idea what to say, no idea what she needed to hear. He was useless. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, hoping the touch would calm her. He realized then he couldn't say anything, as if any words he said would just get in the way.

Johanna's hand worked it's way up his chest, feeling the toned muscle, the way she could feel his heart beat in certain places, she liked to focus on those points. The places where she had proof that he was still alive, still here with her, was still holding onto their dreams. Eventually her hand reached his neck, feeling his pulse as it bounded, carrying life through his body before finally running her hand up through his hair, as her fingers tangled themselves in his hair his made their way down her back, causing her to arch into his touch. When his hands reached her hips she parted her lips slightly and tilted her head to the left slightly, just enough that Jason would catch on to what she was feeling.

Naturally he did. He pulled her hips in closer before gently allowing his lips to meet hers. He started slowly at first, worried that too much would scare her, damage the fragile girl. But he underestimated how strong she was.

Her grip in his hair tightened as she parted her lips and began playing with Jason's lower lip between hers, allowing her tongue to wander along the edges, taking in every inch of it. Her tongue entered his mouth, dancing over his own. She lifted her leg up, so her foot was leaning against the door of the counter she was slanting against. Jason was quick to move his hand down to her bare leg, her inner thigh pressed tightly against his hip, she wanted to feel every part of him, to never let him go.

Jason lifted her so she was perched on the counter top; he wasn't sure why he did it, just that he loved the fact her legs instinctively wrapped themselves around him, pulling him further into the embrace. He loved that the words he'd been unable to say since she returned from the Capitol were suddenly pouring themselves into her through the kiss. He found his hands wandering under her loosely fitted shirt, his touch sending pulses of excitement through her body, making her wish that the moment would never end, that they could stay there forever, so caught up in each other that nothing the Capitol did mattered.

Johanna pulled her lips millimeters away from Jason's, her breathing shallow and fast as she pressed her forehead against his, not wanting to let him too far away from her. He pecked her lips quickly one last time, watching as she bit playfully onto her bottom lip trying to control the smile that had made its way over her face. God he'd missed that smile.

Her hands grabbed onto the bottom of her shirt as she lifted it over her head, leaving her in just her walking shorts and a bra Prima had sent her from the Capitol. She looked up at Jason and was disappointed by the look of confusion on his face.

"Johanna I-"

"Jason I want this," Johanna's hands were back in his hair as she leaned forward to whisper the words into his ear, letting her breath tickle along his ear.

"I wish you did," Jason pushed himself away from her, still standing in front of her wishing it was easier to say no to her. His hands made their way through his hair and he noted how Johanna's had felt much nicer there.

"Jason I swear I-"

"No. Johanna, I like you. I like you a lot and I don't want to screw that up by pretending we're fine and rushing into things just to watch them fall apart."

"Jason we won't fall apart-"

"We're barely one whole person as it is, we're too broken-"

"So why don't we fix each other. I mean I'm stuck with you anyway now," Johanna looked into Jason's eyes and smiled slightly. Reminding him that she was too young for everything she'd been through, and that she was strong enough to make it through. He smiled at her, the first genuine smile he'd given her since she got back.

"I like the sound of that Princess," he agreed, holding her gaze, knowing that at the same time he was holding her heart.

**Author's Note: So I'm thinking this is probably more along the lines of what you were hoping for Johanna and Jason's reunion? God I hope so if not I'm really losing it! Anyway I figured now was probably a nice time to have a kind of happy scene as the story has been kind of depressing lately. So I hope you enjoyed it and pretty please review! **

**-R**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

The girl sat and looked over the scene before her. The ice that lightly coated the ground meant she'd decided not to risk the paths up the surrounding mountains and instead found herself in the same place she'd been just over two years ago on her fourteenth birthday. Only now the winters were colder and the days seem to be shorter but yet still last too long.

She sighed and watched as the light cloud of air escaped her lips and slowly melted into the surrounding air. She found herself wondering if it would every be possible for a person to do the same, to just vanish into thin air. The Capitol seemed to be able to do it, people in the Districts just vanished if they did something wrong, if they stepped out of line.

In all honesty she didn't want to disappear, at least not on her own. If she could take Jason and maybe even Blight and Holt with her then she would, without a second thought. But she had a first thought, a thought that never left her really. The thought that she could lose every single one of them anyway; that they could also disappear into the air.

"Johanna?" his voice broke her aimless thoughts. She turned and smiled at him as he approached her. She was glad he hadn't given up on her, after everything she'd put him through he was still willing to look after her.

"Hey," she whispered back, as though she was scared someone nearby would overhear. He sat down next to her, but still leaving a small space between them.

"How you feeling?" he asked her looking out over the lake. It hadn't frozen but there was a mist starting to form over the surface, giving the whole scene an odd mysterious feeling.

"Cold," she answered honestly and he only smiled at her. She knew it wasn't really what he meant, he knew how she was doing physically; it was emotionally he worried about. He raised an eyebrow at her letting her know he was hoping for more information. "I'm alright though, I mean I couldn't climb today but I won't be able to for the rest of winter anyway," she admitted.

"That and plus you leave for the Victory Tour tomorrow," he reminded her. It was the real reason she'd had to be outside today. She hated being inside as the day she'd have to see the families of the children she'd killed drew closer and closer. As if it wasn't bad enough she'd had to kill them in the first place, she now had to go and rub it in their families faces, while they obviously wished that she had taken their place. It would only bring about a fresh set of nightmares, a new set of faces to haunt her already troubled mind.

"Do you think I really have to go? I mean I doubt they want to see me really and I don't really want to see them," she mumbled, knowing there was no point. The tour wasn't for her; it was for the Capitol, for Snow's power. She shivered slightly at the thought of President Snow.

"You know you have to. The Districts need a constant reminder about the Hunger Games, the fear must always be there if the Games are to work to their full effect. And it means that you'll just have to do without me for two whole weeks," Jason pulled a blanket out of the backpack he'd been carrying and wrapped it around her as he spoke.

"You mean I get two whole weeks of peace and quiet?" she asked sarcastically while pulling the blanket around her.

"You joke now but you're going to get really bored with just Blight and his crazy drinking ways for company."

"I don't know. When he falls over its kind of funny," Johanna laughed slightly at the many memories she had of Blight lying face down on the floor and complaining of how his nose was slowly retreating back into his head.

"Yeah, well you'll have to tell me when you guys get back. I can't believe you're leaving me with Holt! After everything I've done for you this is how you repay me, leaving me with the crazy one?"

"Well it's more exciting than leaving you with someone sane. Let's face it you'd just get bored."

"Yeah, at least I can escape to the yard if he starts telling me about the tree spirits again."

"You know you don't have to work right? We have enough as it is, plus you hate the guys there."

"No but it's good for distracting myself. Like you with your walking, I need it or I'll just go crazy."

"Are you implying I was crazy before I started walking?"

"No, not at all. You're still crazy," he laughed as she punched him in the gut. The routine was so familiar and oddly comforting it didn't actually hurt him anymore.

"You wouldn't love me if I wasn't," she pointed out, and he had to agree. Messed up though they were they worked, and he loved the way they made sense when they really shouldn't.

"Yeah, I guess it's just my luck to get stuck falling in love with the craziest girl in the District," he mumbled into her ear before kissing her forehead and pulling her closer to him. "And quit hogging all the blanket," he complained, wrapping part of the blanket around himself.

"You're so charming sometimes you know?" she teased back, although she did feel a lot warmer being curled into his side.

"It has been mentioned on occasion," he muttered, knowing that she didn't actually want him to be charming, she liked having someone to argue with because it gave her a way to take out her anger on, and she couldn't do that with anyone else because they just got scared. He made a mental note to get Blight to make sure she called him at least once a day to rant to save her attacking potentially dangerous victors.

"It's just two weeks, then I'll be back here and then I only have to leave for a month every year but other than that we're together for the rest of our lives. And if I can bring another girl back then it'll be even less time away-"

"Johanna. I don't care. So long as you're mine ad so long as I know you'll always come back here to me, I can deal with you having to leave for a while every now and again."

"And so long as you're always here for me to come back to I think I can just about manage to not single-handedly destroy the Capitol."

"Now I might just run off one day for the joy of getting to see that."

"Don't you dare or I will take you down afterwards."

"Please I trained you I can still kick your sorry victor butt."

"You wish," was all Johanna managed to say before Jason let go of the blanket slightly and pushed her back playfully onto the cold ground. "Ow, you-"

"Still think you'd win?" Jason asked, his lips mere centimeters from hers. Johanna lay for a moment, watching their breath mingling before swirling off into the atmosphere. Although it was beautiful to watch, she didn't like it. It just made it too obvious there was a distance between them, even though it was a tiny one she could feel it all through her. She closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against his.

Soon there was no gap between them as Jason let himself fall slightly onto her, her hips arching up to help close the distance. She gripped onto his shoulder blades tightly, scared to let him go, letting him know that she wanted to be with him. He took the invitation and allowed his tongue to make its way along her lower lip and she parted them in response. Johanna found herself getting lost in the feelings; his tongue as it slid effortlessly over hers, his body as it pressed with a gentle force against hers.

She liked it. She liked that for once she wasn't fully in control of the situation seeing as how when she was things tended to go badly. She liked when Jason was in control of what happened to her, how she trusted him to do what she needed. All she really needed was him.

Johanna moaned slightly as she tilted her head to the side, gaining better access to his mouth. He pressed himself against her further in response to the noise and she wrapped her right leg around his left one, encouraging the movement.

Jason tried to regain some control, tried to remove some of his body from Johanna but her leg was now pulling him back against her. It was harder to go slow with her than he thought it would be, I mean they'd managed for years not doing anything but now that he could call her his, he just wanted more. Then Johanna did something he should've seen coming, she flipped him over violently and pinned his hands to the ground.

"If you're that easily distracted kicking your ass isn't even going to be a challenge," she whispered seductively in his ear, sending a pleasurable shiver all through him. And then she got up and began running for the tree line. He sighed as he propped himself up on an elbow just in time to see her disappearing into the forest. Well, at least he'd never have a boring day.

**Author's Note: So first of all I owe you all a MASSIVE apology for not updating for ages, but I got very into my other fanfics and unfortunately was unsure how to continue this after the last chapter. So I figured I'd try and make it worth the wait with a nice Johanna Jason scene, so I hope you've not given up on this and pretty please review and let me know what you guys think! Also I promise to try and not leave so long between updates in the future.**

**-R**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

Twelve

The dust surrounded the citizens as a cool breeze made its way through the District. It circled around the ankles of everyone who stood in the square and the only reason they noticed was because very few of them were willing to look up at the person who stood on the stage.

Of course it happened every year. They gathered in the square twice, once to select the dead and once to fake pride at the one who had killed them. One was a day of sadness, the other of mourning for the lives that could have been.

The few who looked at the girl noticed that she was in an elegant black dress, like the mourning clothes they wore everyday. It almost looked like she was mourning with them, but they knew better. They had seen how she had pretended to be weak only to kill the most children in the end. And even though she wasn't responsible for the death of their children every member of that crowd looked at her with hatred.

What they couldn't see was the tears that slowly pooled in her eyes, they couldn't hear as she inhaled sharply trying to compose herself before she gave the speech she knew they didn't want to hear. The speech she didn't want to give.

She walked slowly towards the front of the stage, looking down into the faces of the children who's friends she'd taken, whose siblings deaths she'd avenged but that didn't mean she wasn't partially responsible for their deaths, at least in their eyes it didn't.

Once she reached the microphone her breathing had steadied, her eyes became focused in the distance, somewhere where there were no faces to show her their hatred, their loathing.

She sighed and thought about the speech that had been prepared, the one that the Capitol had accepted. She thought about how there was no emotion in it even though words like "pride" and "glory" were mentioned repeatedly. She thought of how it summed up the Capitols feelings of her killing those children and not her own. But she knew she couldn't put those thoughts into words, knew she couldn't explain that she wanted nothing more than to do to President Snow what she had done to so many innocent children. She wanted to beg for forgiveness she felt she didn't deserve.

"I stand before you proud as your victor of the 68th annual Hunger Games," and she wished with all of her heart it wasn't true. "Your sacrifice of two," Johanna paused for a moment, she knew the next part of the speech, she knew how this was meant to go, but the word tribute just didn't seem right. "Innocent children meant more to the Capitol than you can ever know." _Trust me, the sick twisted freaks would be lost without the Games_, she thought to herself.

"I know how the Games can be perceived to you all, I used to feel the same way. But upon winning I've discovered something more to the Games, a side I never knew existed before. I can see the glory in winning, the pride that I have brought to my District. And within all of you stands the potential to bring that same pride, live for the same glory that I feel now. The Games made me stronger, they made me who I am and I hope that one day you will get the joy of experiencing that as well," she could feel the hatred as it forced itself from the crowd and hit her in the face.

"Thank you for your sacrifice, and I'm sorry for your loss," she muttered in an attempt of an apology, knowing it wasn't enough. Knowing that nothing would be enough. They won twice in every fifty years; those statics didn't look likely to change for the better. Sure there was one or two faces that looked like they could survive the torture of the Games, but they'd never volunteer here. Here the Games lived up to the Capitols expectations, every one of them feared their names coming out of that bowl because they wouldn't survive that and they knew that. At least they understood that, unlike the idiots from One and Two.

Eleven

As many people as possible had been crowded into the small area. Johanna noted as she stood before them, this time in a brown silk dress that hugged at her curves "perfectly". She prepared herself for the hatred that these people would feel for her, expecting it to be the same as it had been in Twelve.

But their hatred was different, like the tributes were different. The hatred was more deafening as the whispers continued throughout the same speech she gave Eleven, showing the lack of respect for a victor they didn't want. She couldn't blame them, how could she expect them to respect her when she hated herself. Even though she hadn't been responsible for either of their deaths she still looked up the families with apologetic eyes, as if she could some how change the course of what had happened.

Ten

Blight had been suffering a hangover when Johanna had spoken in Eleven and he had sworn he wouldn't be in the same state this time, refusing drinks from Chaff and Seeder the night before. He watched the girl giving the speech, playing the part of a strong uncaring victor perfectly. Just like one set of eyes wanted, but the pairs staring at her now hated. They wanted her to break down, to show some form of remorse or guilt for what she had done.

But she didn't.

She kept up the act as she stood before them, covering the broken girl she really was with her uncaring words.

Nine

The towers loomed over the square hiding the faces of the citizens in a dark shadow. Not that Johanna needed to see their faces to know that they were looking at her with either fear or disgust; most likely the latter. In her now golden dress and the light from the stage she could have looked angelic, if it weren't for the blood that tainted every fiber of her being.

Looking down at them she realized that this wasn't a punishment for the Districts, they'd already watched their loved ones die, had probably accepted the fact that they weren't coming home as soon as their names had come out of the lottery. This punishment was especially for the victors.

They didn't care what she said, she could tell them a magical unicorn had come into the arena and was really the one that had killed their children and it wouldn't change what they thought of her. Well they may think she was a little more insane than before but overall, it wouldn't affect it.

"I know how the Games can be perceived to you all, I used to feel the same way. But upon winning I've discovered something more to the Games, a side I never knew existed before. A side I hope none of you ever have to see, the side that they hide from you until it's too late. A side that you can't fight with a spear or an axe or a sword. The nightmares you can't run from, the shadows that dance to torment your mind, all the promises you don't remember making but to break them causes a fate worse than the Games. I am sorry for your losses but remember they are better wherever they are now than I am here," and with that she left the stage, for the first time seeing something other than fear and hatred in their faces.

"What the hell was that?" Blight stormed into the room after her, only stopping when he saw the sobbing mess of a girl on the floor. "Johanna, answer me," he demanded sternly, although some concern still showed on his face.

"Jason," was the only word that escaped her lips. Blight sighed and went to get the phone. Usually he had to force the phone upon her when he called Jason, reminding her that he only needed to know that she was all right and that everything was going to plan. She never asked for his help.

"Jason it's Blight," he spoke hurriedly down the phone, ignoring the curse words of a just woken up Jason. He didn't know why the boy wasn't sleeping properly but it wasn't his business to ask such things. "Look she's upset, deal with her," he interrupted the boys rant and handed the phone to Johanna.

"Jason," she hiccupped on one of her few moments of weakness.

"Johanna what happened?" and Jason turned effortlessly from the grumpy teenager he had been moments before to the concerned lover of her, just like she needed him to be.

"I think, I mean," between every word or so she would try to inhale heavily and wound up coughing each time she tried as her airways tightened.

"Johanna just breathe you're alright, right? They haven't hurt you have they?" he sounded worried and Johanna felt guilty. She shouldn't have worried him, he had already done so much for her and here she was breaking down every time something went even slightly wrong. Especially when it was her fault.

"No, I just, said some things," she gushed, before her stupid emotions got in the way of her words again. She mentally cursed herself for winding up like this.

"Johanna it's fine we'll get through it. Ok? You'll be fine just take a few deep breaths," he asked and then paused, implying that he was waiting for her to audibly follow his instructions. She calmed herself and focused on breathing and not the thousands of people she had just endangered. "See that wasn't too hard. And trust me this will all be over before you know it then you'll be back home with me again, sound good?"

"Being stuck with your awful jokes again has never sounded better," Johanna smiled at the thought of Jason's questionable sense of humor and how it never failed to make her feel better. Then again most things he did made her feel better, even the slightest usually unnoticeable gesture set her at ease like nothing else could.

"Sounds like someone's feeling better," he yawned, feeling sleepy again now that she was back to her usual uncooperative self.

"Even if I say no you're going to fall asleep," she pointed out smiling a little at the thought of a ruffled, sleepy Jason.

"Probably," he groaned, clearly settling back into whatever position he'd been sleeping in minutes ago.

"Jason," she whispered, suddenly aware of the exactly what she wanted to say to him.

"Yeah," he relied, letting the silence that followed sink in. Letting her have the chance to back out of what he supposed she was going to say.

"I miss you," she mumbled, knowing that he knew exactly what she was about to say.

"I miss you too."

**Author's Note: Hellooooooo :) I apologize for the long time it has taken me to update but I have unfortunately restarted university to shan't be able to update as much as I'd like :( But anyway I hope you enjoyed the little Jason Johanna moment at the end there, I didn't want anything too much but I hate writing when he's not there, it's not as fun cause I love their little chats! So yeah there will probably be a Jason phonecall for every Victory Tour Chapter :) Also please review pretty please? And I promise I'm trying my best to update as often as possible! :) **

**-R**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter Forty-Nine**

**District Four**

The waves lapped lazily against the shore as Johanna let her feet make delicate imprints in the sand. Four was a nice place, the hustle and bustle was enough to let you know that other people were around and well, but not so much that they overwhelmed you like they did in Eleven. She sighed to the sky, letting her arms wrap themselves around her torso, holding onto the warmth that was heating her skin.

"You look awful lonely there," a familiar voice called to her.

"And you must be awful lonely to bother with me," Johanna replied, turning to see the stunning face of Finnick Odair. He was beaming at her with his boyish grin and she found herself hoping that he would never outgrow the smirk or the cheeky glint in his eye that was reserved for moments when he was truly happy.

"Or maybe you're just the best company to swing by here for a few years," he flirted, Johanna only knew he was flirting because she felt the need to roll her baby blue eyes at him. "Come on don't doubt yourself that much, you're almost adorable when you smile," he prompted. Johanna didn't see it that way though, she knew anyone who saw her as adorable had been through a similar fate to her own. No one could be labeled adorable with as much blood on their hands as she had.

"As oppose to you who is simply adorable all of the time," she asked sarcastically.

"Wow an almost compliment from Johanna Mason herself, it must be my lucky day!" he practically swooned, and she couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm handing them out like extra twigs these days," she sighed, feeling guilty. It used to mean something to her when she spoke, only praising things she really enjoyed, only yelling about things that really made her mad. Well she still yelled, but it was a lot more in her head than it used to be.

"Victor life taking it tolls then?" Finnick asked, looking somewhere into the distance. Johanna wondered for a second if he was searching for something, she realized he must be, but it was nothing he was going to find in the calming blue ocean before them.

"I think so, I can't think of any other way to put it," Johanna muttered, knowing that he was probably right. He had been through a similar thing not so long ago himself. Who better to understand the madness of all of this? "They all hate me don't they?" she sighed, looking at him now. While he was always beautiful, even in the Capitol, there was something peaceful about him here. Something about him being more relaxed that gave him more of an appeal. It was quite possibly the lack of Capitol make-up on his face that did it, and the fact he was wearing a simple outfit rather that something that sparkled and left him half naked, but he definitely seemed, calmer.

"In all honesty maybe a little, they'll hate you more in the Career Districts though. The outer districts are generally more accepting of Victors because they accept that they don't really stand a chance. They know it's over before it's really begun in a lot of cases and then they just deal with the consequences, they struggle through and they move on. It's the same every year, the same loss, the same hopelessness, the same speech from a different victor that they don't care about. And I assume you don't really care about the Careers and their opinion of you," Finnick raised his eyebrows looking at her, expecting her to reply. But her mind was preoccupied, of course the outer districts were disappointed, a victory for somewhere else meant another year starving, and sure maybe one or two of them were actually upset at the loss of a friend, a child, a sibling, but they knew there was a risk, they knew that the odds were against them.

"Thank you," she answered eventually, looking round to where Finnick had started writing things in the sand, his foot swirling through the tiny grains to indent the ground into letters.

"What for?" he asked, looking up from what looked like a letter "c".

"For helping me. I mean Blyth is great and all but he's just-"

"He's one of the drunks," Finnick finished for her, knowing that the man was as much a loser as the rest of them. "And don't mention it, I'd have been lost without Mags," he smiled lightly at her; it was the friendliest thing she'd seen since the tour started.

"Sometimes it's nice to feel like you haven't lost everything," Johanna confessed, feeling her chest tighten as she thought of Jason once again. The pull that drew them together feeling stronger the further away form him that she got. She just wanted to be with him, to curl up in his arms and feel safe in the cocoon of muscles that felt more like home than any house ever could.

"And for the moments you do it's nice to have someone there," he nudged her slightly and it was only then she realized that he had moved closer to her, so that she could feel the heat radiating off his skin. She realized how long it had been since she felt the warmth of someone else on her skin and she exhaled heavily realizing how lonely being a victor really was.

"Especially someone as good looking as myself," Finnick bragged, lightening the mood instantly.

"And here I was thinking it was all just an act," Johanna teased back, feeling herself the ghost of a smile playing on her chapped lips.

"And how do you know it's not?" Finnick asked, tilting his head slightly in an almost challenging manner, it would have been challenging if it weren't for the playful glint in his bright green eyes.

"I see through your perfect charade to the broken pissed off teenager within," she answered, her smile now more of a smirk.

"Well aren't you a clever one?" Finnick questioned, mock surprise lacing his smooth voice.

"More than just a pretty face you know," Johanna pointed out, her smile hurting the muscles in her face as they had been underused for so long, spare a few stolen moments on the phone to Jason. And even then Blyth had warned her that others would be listening.

"Oh I already knew that," he smiled back, and Johanna raised a curious eyebrow at him. "You have a nice ass too," he smirked before slapping said ass. Johanna squeaked slightly at the action before turning to slap him, only to find he'd already started disappearing down the sandy beach. He glanced back over at her and she shook her head a little at him.

She knew exactly what she had to do and her feet began racing over the light sand before she could stop them. Finnick realized what she was doing a second too late and she catapulted herself onto his back, causing him to face plant into the sand.

"Touch my ass again and it'll be the last thing you ever do pretty boy," Johanna hissed playfully into his ear, causing him to chuckle slightly into the air as he pulled himself halfway off the ground. "What are you laughing about?"

"As much as you can see through my act I see right through yours," he chuckled and Johanna pulled herself off of him and sat herself next to him in the sand, curling her legs up towards herself and resting her chin on her knees.

"I don't know what you mean," she batted her eyelashes innocently, like she had done when she was a child and had wanted just a few special minutes longer outside after her father had called her to come in.

"You can act scared and innocent all you want, but I know what you really are," he tormented, knowing that she was desperate to see into his thoughts. He didn't usually like playing such mind-games with people outside the Capitol, especially people that he classified as his friends, but there was something about Johanna that just made her so much fun to wind up.

"And what's that?" she asked, he could tell she was trying to hid the curiosity.

"A bitch," he whispered, and he retreated away quickly, expecting her palm to make contact with his face, or at least the back of his head. But as ever she surprised him. Her eyes had glazed over in a thoughtful way.

"Pretty boy and bitch, it's almost poetic," Johanna mused aloud. Finnick smiled a little at her, feeling like she needed it now.

"Pretty boy and bitch it is," he agreed, and now she snapped out of whatever far off place she was in, just in time to return the smile.

**Author's Note: Hello! Ok so I'm an awful person please forgive me for not having updated in WAY too long. For those of you who are still here thank you you guys are seriously AWESOME! Also I kinda have to admit the reason it's taken me sooooo long to update was I was struggling doing Johanna in all the different districts, so I hope it's cool that I skipped to Four cause I kinda love Finnick and Johanna. Not as a couple, just as like friends who piss each other off and laugh at each other way too much! But yeah this chapter is for Anla'shok for messaging me today and reminding me that I kinda do have to keep writing (p.s. if you haven't already then go read her fic Showdown! If you already have HOW FREAKING GOOD IS IT RIGHT?!) Anyways, hopefully it won't be too long until my next update on this, I pinky promise I am trying to manage things. But yeah reviews mean the world, like even just letting me know you're still here would be amazing! Until next time (which hopefully won't be too long)!**

**-R**


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter Fifty**

**District One**

Johanna slumped off the train after another almost sleepless night. She had debated calling Jason at certain times but didn't want to risk waking him up. He was hardly a happy bunny when she did that. Two had been a disaster, she had been continuously questioned about tactics and how it felt to win the Games and she'd had to smile and lie and pretend that everything was fine and freaking dandy.

She was expecting similar problems in One. She was now used to the flashing cameras that greeted her when she exited the train and walked along the unusually shiny platform. Questions bombarded her and she knew she was meant to stop and answer a few but today she just couldn't deal with it. She wanted to be home, and safe in Jason's arms and forget about this other world that wasn't hers. She let her head drop and ran a hand through her chocolaty hair that had grown surprisingly fast in recent months.

Addie paused to apologize to the confused Capitol reporters, saying her stomach still wasn't used to such exotic foods and she was having a hard time coping. She would have punched him if it wouldn't risk Jason's life. She kept walking briskly until she reached the car that would transport her to the training center where she was to make her second last speech of the tour.

When in the safety of the car she pressed her head back into the headrest and sighed heavily, letting the release of pressure flow through her. Blight sat next to her quickly, his eyes also showing the obvious signs of lack of sleep and the pair sat and waited for Addie to finish attention seeking.

"You could at least pretend to be grateful you know," he snapped at Johanna as he took a seat opposite her. She didn't give a reply, deciding instead to simply roll her eyes at him. "People come all this way to see you, to catch a glimpse of the great Johanna Mason and this is how you repay them?"

"Trust me, she's holding back what she really wants to do to them," Blight defended her, rubbing his eyes heavily like it would help their darkened appearance.

Addie simply huffed in reply and they made the rest of the journey to the training center in silence, not that any of them complained about it. Johanna had her speech written out as always was demanded now and she was also expected to take questions from any curious learners in the young crowd. She clenched her teeth together at the thought.

Prima met them at the training center and she was quickly ushered into a small room to prepare. Prima produced a beautiful, long shimmering gown for her. The underlying gold material was coated with thousands of tiny beads, all added to make her look far more well endowed than she was in reality.

"It's beautiful," she reassured Prima as she shrugged the thick straps of the dress over her shoulders and admired herself in the large mirror in front of her. Despite Addie's claims that she just wasn't used to the food she generally looked far unhealthier than she had before the Games. Her collarbones were far too obvious and as Prima ran around her adjusting the last few areas of the dress let her know the weight loss wasn't just a figment of her imagination, which had become far more active than she would have liked.

"Only if it looks beautiful on my dear," Prima replied, still running around and fixing her as she spoke.

Johanna did what was asked of her obediently, closing her eyes, looking up and holding loose bits of fabric when requested. Prima was one of the few people she had no problem obeying, and the only one from the Capitol. She knew she was loosing herself, not just in the fabric, but also in everything. She was a trace of the girl who was raised passionately in the woods of District Seven.

When Prima seemed satisfied with her work she nodded a few times before a peacekeeper interrupted them to let them know they'd be ready for her in two minutes. Johanna mumbled a thanks to Prima and the woman prayed that the young girl she'd seen before the Games was still in there somewhere.

She exited the room and stood out on the balcony overlooking the large area she assumed was the main training room. Hundreds of curious eyes looked up at her all wondering the same thing. How had _she_ managed to kill their tributes? In all honesty she didn't think she wanted to answer that question.

She opened her mouth once, expecting the words she had memorized just to flow easily out of her like all the other lies she had told. But they didn't. The words choked in her throat and she stood for a moment, mouth partially opened and staring into the judgmental faces of the children around her.

"I wish there were more words that I could use to describe how I feel about standing here before you. A victor. Triumphant. Proud. Honored. None of them seem enough. Because there are no words for being a victor. It is something you have to fight for with everything you have to deserve it; only those who truly earn the right to win the Games can begin to experience it. It is not something to be shared with the weak; it is something that only the strong can handle. So fight for your right to feel the way I feel," (she tried so hard not to let sarcasm ooze in her voice as she spoke) "for each of you has the potential. It is just how you use it that shall be the deciding factor," she finished her short speech and looked over the faces, waiting for the real hell to begin.

She could see the questions they really wanted to ask appear and then disappear from their faces.

"What made you go on the cornucopia?" one girl asked, she was maybe about 7 and already Johanna could see the lack of emotion in her eyes that was typical of careers.

"I needed the element of surprise," Johanna lied. She lied awfully. She went on the Cornucopia because she prayed that by staying there she would be out of the way of the things that attacked her and that maybe her leg injury would kill her before Silk got the chance. "With my injury and lack of training I knew I wouldn't have lasted against Silk. My only chance was to attack her someway she wasn't expecting."

"Had you ever trained before the Games?" a boy asked, he was younger still.

"No. Training is banned for my District," she mumbled, her eyes narrowing slightly at the unfairness that the Career districts were allowed a fighting chance at surviving whereas the outer districts were forced to accept their punishment.

The questions continued, some about axe technique, some about what she though the important parts of the Games were but all of them were pointless. It wouldn't make a difference. She wanted to scream at them that it didn't matter how prepared they thought they were the Gamemakers would pick a favorite and they were the most likely ones to survive. She had just been lucky.

**Author's Note: Ok so I know I am awful at updating! But I hope you all are still there and still enjoying the story, there is only one more chapter of the victory tour and then it will be back to District Seven. There isn't much left to go of this Fic, but there will be a sequel which I will need some time to work on before it goes up. Either way I hope those of you that are still reading enjoyed this and I will have the next chapter up ASAP but that might still be a while away.**

**-R**


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